enadevoli

i know you want to be there for your friend, but you have tried every thing. if he doesn't see by what you have done already, then he's not going to see it, probably not for a long time. you are a great friend for wanting to be there for him, but theres only so much you can do. i've had things like this happen with a friend, but she just doesn't get it. one day, your friend will see whats going. unfortunately your friend is just going to have to learn the hard way. i know as his friend, you don't want to see him get hurt, but i dont think there really is much you can do. you could try talking to his girlfriend, maybe let her know that you are hurt by the way she treats your friend. maybe she will understand. your friend is going to need you when this is all over. if you cant open his eyes to see what his girlfriend is doing, then just be there for him at the end.

My little brother (12 years old) visited some porn sites today while every one else was gone. We found out because it was on the history of sites visited. A little background: my brother is bad with hygiene, really bad, & he eats a lot, even if he's not hungry, he just doesn't know when to stop, he also eats a lot of treats. What happened?? I have an older brother & a 16 year old sister & none of us are like that at all. Now my dad is blaming it all on every one else. He's really upset about it & he's saying that we should send him to prep school (the porn thing has been an issue of the past). Hes arguing with my mom right now & blaming it all on her, saying she doesn't care about him & he can't believe that porn was viewed in our home. Hes saying that we should cancel our internet, even though the internet is a big thing for us. We need it for school research, its the only way i can communicate with my bf who lives an hour away, & email & things like that. He's like punishing every one else because of what happened. Its so upsetting to me right now. Being my brothers father, it only seems right that he talk to my brother. Every time I tell him that he needs to have a father son talk with my brother, he tells me I should do it. It seems to me that my little brother is curious about sex, like I'm sure he hears about it in school & stuff, & he hasn't had a serious talk about that yet... I'm sorry for complaining, I don't do it much, but does any one have any advice about this??

it really depends. if you are going to like a fancy restaurant, it might be nice to dress nicely. if you are going like horse back riding, then you wouldn't dress up so nice. if your going to the mall, then you would probably just want to dress casually. i think it mostly does depend on where you are going & what you plan to be doing. some times its even nice to just dress up nice for dates, but i wouldn't suggest that if you know your date won't be dressing up.

i think that the main difference is that when your friends with benefits, it means you can still see other people & do what ever you want with some one else & technically you wouldn't be cheating. however, if you are boyfriend & girlfriend then you make a commitment to that one person & your not supposed to go fool around with some one else because of that commitment. some times for friends with benefits, there are actual feelings involved. like the girl might really have feelings for the guy, or the other way around. some times there aren't feelings like that involved & friends just are friends with benefits just because that person is just there.

Thank you both for your great advice. Every thing mentioned is just right. Me being the friend, don't want to see my best friend get hurt by this all over again, but unfortuanatly, she will do what she wants & theres not much I can do. I can't make her not do stuff with him, I can only give her advice. I just feel so bad for her. She doesn't have many guys that she knows of that like her & I do think you are right neallo82288, she doesn't have much self esteem. Shes the type of girl who will make out with random guys she meets (there was one at the mall & another at a library). It just diguists me so much that she would let Mike do this to her. I guess some times people just have to learn the hard way, like she might just have to learn it the hard way that Mike will not change, ever since I can remember hes been this way. Thanks again neallo82288 & S4il for your advice!

Hopefully I don't confuse anyone... It all started back in 8th grade. I met this guy named Mike & a year later I introduced him to my best friend, Lizzy. Well, Lizzy & Mike liked each other a lot. It didn't bother me cause I didn't like him at all like that. They would always make out, not in front of me, but Lizzy always told me every thing. The only thing that was keeping them from starting a real relationship was Mike. He said he didnt want a girlfriend at that time. Well, Lizzy & Mike still did stuff, but then Mike would get another girlfriend & stop talking to her. However, when him & his girlfriend would break up, he would call her up again & it would all start over. This all ended about sophomore year. Now me & Lizzy are freshman in college. We only see Mike every once in awhile when we go to see our friends local band play. Lizzy realized that she still has feelings for Mike. So, one day after our friends local band played (i wasn't there) she & her friend, Allison (who went with her) decided to invite Mike & his friend that he was with out to eat. So Mike & Josh went with them. I guess they all went to Mike's house & he was flirting a lot with Lizzy & they made out a lot & held hands the whole time. So the whole Lizzy & Mike thing has started up again, the only problem is is that Mike has a girlfriend, which he failed to mention. Lizzy found out because Josh (his friend) told Allison that he had a gf. Lizzy left town the next day & is coming home today. Shes really confused & has been talking to me about this a lot. She likes Mike a lot, but doesn't want to be that "other girl". Shes planning on asking him if he does have a gf when she comes home today. She said that shes going to tell him that she doesn't want to do any thing with him if he does have a gf. She has told me many times that she knows that she shouldn't do any thing with him until he doesn't have a girlfriend anymore, but my only problem is is that she has a hard time controlling what she does. She agrees & she says that its going to be really hard & she just doesn't know if she will be able to puxh him away if he tries any thing. Knowing Mike, hes a jerk who will continue trying with Lizzy despite what she tells him. My question is, does any one have any advice I can give to Lizzy? I have told her a lot that Mike is a jerk who doesnt derserve her & ways to avoid getting into this situation, like just try not to be alone with him & things like that, but the thing is, she REALLY likes him. She can't control herself (well she can, but she doesn't think she can) when it comes to this kind of thing. She just wants attention from a guy she likes, so she will let him treat her badly as long as shes getting some thing from him. Its not that I'm jealous, I hope it doesn't seem that way cause I know hes a jerk. I just don't want Lizzy to be in the middle of this. She thinks that Mike must be "special" because she has liked him for so long. How do I get her to see that he's not special, he a jerk who will just continue to take advantage of her???

it seems weird to me that he wouldn't call, but you never know why. maybe he's just been really busy lately. i think that all you can do is wait until he contacts you now. i mean, you have tried just about every thing to get a hold of him, so im thinking he will contact you soon. some times at the beginning of a relationsip, or right after you get back together, your bf or gf will call a lot, but then it gets less & less. also, it seems like he just forgets to call you. i don't think it means that he doesn't miss you, but some times guys forget that they say they will call you back. that doesn't mean that that is a good excuse though. next time you talk to him, let him know that it hurts you when he says he will do things & doesn't. when you tell him to call you back, make sure you say it a couple times to let it sink into his brain. maybe you could try having him write it down.

i have 3 piercings on both ears & my cartilidge pierced on one. my parents didn't have so much of a problem with it, they just wanted me to make sure i knew all the advantages & disadvantages. it probably just has some thing to do with the fact that they are older & they know that what was cool when you are teenagers isn't so cool when your older. of course, teenagers don't see it though. my grandma always says that if God wanted you to have holes on your ears, or where ever, He would have put them there.

right now, i think you should just try to move on. it only seems possible that he was talking to her while you 2 were together, but it doesn't mean he ever cheated on you with her. you said that hes been trying to call you? maybe he wants to make things ok between you both. he probably realizes how hurt you are about this, so i think he just wants to talk to you. i think you should just wait to talk to him until the anger is over because you could say some thing you would later regret. the best thing right now would be to try to get over him because i don't think he's going to be back any time soon.

do you know any thing about this girl? like her age, name, or any thing at all? does she know you exist? i think the best way would be to just go up to her before all her friends get there & introduce yourself & just talk to her & stuff. just get her to know you exist first. then just take the next step by asking if she wants to hang out. all you have to do is just get the courage to say hi & every thing will go from there.

like every one else said, i don't think you could count staring at you as sexual harassment. Just because you don't know why he's staring at you. Some times people just get lost in thought. Like have you ever noticed a friend just staring at some thing & then you get her attention & she didn't even realize she was staring?? Maybe he just got lost in thought & you were in his staring range.. any thing is possible, so its not so easy to say if its sexual harassment. however, if he says things to you, or touches you & it makes you uncomfortable, then I would consider that sexual harassment, if he does that tell him that it makes you uncomfortable & if he doesnt stop then you should do some thing about it. Its kind of hard to tell when you say that you are friends with him cause friends do tend to act closer than if you didn't know each other. & friends do give their friends nicknames, so its hard to say. whatever you do, just make sure you know that its for sure before you go & do some thing about it because sexual harassment is a serious thing & he could lose his job.

Its hard to say. Some times it works out, some times it doesnt. It will definantly prove your love for her though. Its like a test to test whether or not you are meant for each other. it will be hard not seeing her for that long, but theres still the phone & email & you can visit her when you are on break or something. This whole thing will let you know if you both can survive this. I think you should give it a try if you think you really love her. Don't end it just because she is going away. Once she comes back, if your love for her is still there, that will say some thing about your relationship. Just don't even think about that now. You got awhile before the summer, so just live it one day at a time.

i suggest going to the doctor & have them give you a pregnancy test. tell them all of your sypmtoms & stuff. Just in case something is wrong with you, i don't think its completely normal to have all these things happening at once. (actually i really wouldnt know), but it would never hurt to just go get checked out.

I do agree with Swingfox on that one. However, I think it all depends. Like me & my boyfriend tell each other all the time that we are each others best friend, we really are, but it has that special meaning to me. Well, I think it depends on the amount of time you have been together, like we just celebrated our 1 year last saterday. I think if you love someone, you should tell them. If its truly what you are feeling, then why not tell that person how you are feeling? Just make sure you aren't confusing your feelings of love for some thing else. Make sure you know its true. It confuses me when people don't want to tell someone they love them, like their partner will break up with them. Like I know it happens, but why does it happen?

And I thought being away from my boyfirned for 2 weeks was hard... I'm really sorry to hear that your boyfriend is away for so long. My boyfriend goes to college an hour away from here, so I only can see him like once a week, unless its break. I've never been away from my boyfriend for more than like 3 weeks at a time, & that was hard, so I can only imagine what it must be like for you. My grandpa was in the world war two & he had to leave like 2 weeks after him & my grandma got married. Well, he was gone for almost 4 years. For 2 1/2 of those years, he was a prisoner of the Japanese. At that time my grandma hadn't heard from him at all & she didn't even know if he was alive. She just heard that he was missing in action. Finally it was all over, & I guess when he came home, they were like complete strangers, but they got through it. Thats like the story that I always think about. Like could you even imagine what it would be like to not even hear from your boyfriend or husband for almost 3 years & not even know if he was alive?? Ok, I realize that this is probably not the type of stuff you were wanting to hear, but the point of that story is that it could be worse... Which probably means nothing to you because right now seems worse already. My grandma spent a lot of her time with my grandpa's family while he was gone. Are you close with his family where you can just go visit them every once in awhile?? Also, she spent a lot of time with friends & stuff & work. I think it also helps to write about him, or talk about him.