NeedClosure

no u dont just tell them what u feel its their problem how they deal with it.

i know how u are feeling i feel the same way many times when the smalles things start reminding me of my x and i get really sad and replay everything that happened over and over again in my mind. Last night i was reading someone journal who was talking abotu her bf and now they talk on the phone for hours and have names for each other and it reminded me of my x. It made me feel really weird and just like u said it was a rush of emotions and everything that you think u can hold up inside comes out of nowhere. So yes i can relate to what u are saying and i can understand the situation. Even i think of my x as to if he is married or has kids of a gf but there is nothing much i can do about anything now . I just hage to live with it.

first of all let me tell u i have done the mind games thing before to get someone back and it usually drive them away more...second thing at this point you should confront her AND BE HONEST tell her everything and although this means putting ur heart on the line she may either except or reject u. DEPENDS ON WHAT PRICE ARE U WILLING TO PAY. GOOD LUCK!

im no mother but it can be true u should try the kids section here im sure they have good luck

Being in love and being dumped has been difficult. Although I have learned to move on, what happened 5 years ago comes back to haunt me sometimes. However, during these years I have had relationships short term ones where I told myself "Keep your true feelings to yourself because you never know when this one may end." And so I have done, I have always kept what I truly felt about those people to myself and never told them EXACTLY how i feel about them in fear of not having those feelings returned. Keeping myself in a REALITY CHECK has helped me a lot when those relationships ended because somehow when i did keep my feelings hidden it did not hurt as much. In my first love I had let my feelings be known and in vain they were not returned with the same affection as I had hoped. So learning from that lesson my motto became to hide what i really felt. But I am scared about tomorrow, if i ever meet the one i am truly meant to be with for life. Should I tell him about my break up about how i was in love and he didnt feel the same way even though he said he loved me and then he dumped me? Should i tell him that i was ever in love? Even if i fall in love with another person tomorrow should i tell him that i love him? I have learned over the years to keep my true feelings to myself as protection and I think this may jepordize my future relationships. I mean after all a person CAN SENSE that you are hiding your feelings and they may walk away from me. Or should I just tell them the truth About how I am now a ONCE BURNT TWICE SHY case I dunno what to do. I dont understand how guys react to feelings of past loves on the girls part. Especially when it was a true love I mean how would a guy interpret my story of my x. Would he want me to tell him what happened, would he want me to just ignore it and not say anything? How would he feel that i was in an unrequitted love senario? How would his feelings change? Would he look at me as having baggage? Help!

u are just having mixed emotions it will straighten itself out soon

as far as the age difference goes u have to understand that she an older mature women, women at that age think well and know what they are doing but u are too young to understand this. yes u may be in love with her or maybe not im not sure but u have to understand that u are more vunerable than her. You are still growing mentally but she has grown and seen things and experience them. You are putting yourself in a delicate position and should have a rational thinking about how or what you feel for her. If your feelings are not that strong you need to move on before you GET HURT FROM HER. it will be easier for her than for you to deal with issues or break ups or problems i can tell u that right now. as far as long distance relationships go i think that they almost never work out unless u are married or you REALLY REALLY REALLY STRONGLY FEEL FOR THE PERSON. THEN again it has to be a two way street. hope this helps. BE RATIONAL AND TRUTHFULL ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS.

well if i was SINGLE i would dress like that to get attention from men. but if i was with someone there could be only two reasons I would dress like that for my guy and want to be sexy for him. I would dress like that to make myself feel better. Women usually dress like that when they are with a guy to get his attention or make themselves feel sexy for him. Or if they want to feel better about themselves. When I dress to go out with a guy i want to wear sexy clothes so he looks at me and my assets and gives me attention...to attract other men to that is the last thing on my mind. The worst case senario in this could be that ur gf wants to dress like that because she is a floozy and im not sure if that is the case. You know her nature better than me, if u think she is looking for attention it might be the case. But usually if ur with a guy and someone other guy checks u out women just ignore that most of the time unless thats what they are looking for. You should talk to ur gf about ur concerns. Hope I didnt confuse you. Good luck.

I would probably do no 2. Considering how powerful love can be I can understand her wanting to know something about the other guy even if she has a long term current bf. But i dont think i would just leave.

the night when i came hime AFTER my bf who i was in love with broke up with me and didnt give me a reason I had a dream. It was a dream in which my x was shot in his heart by someone and he falls into my arms and I tell him that everything will be okay and that I will call for help and then I remember holdling him in my arms bleeding and i remember thinking that i will take care of him. Any thoughts on what this dream means? I have had other dreams in the past when I see him sitting or walking by and I ask him why he left me and why he never gave me a reason and all he does is give me a blank stare or walk away. It is the same senario over and over again. any thoughts on these 2 dreams?

I had first fallen in love with a guy in 1998 and it was the best thing that happened to me. But all came to an end when he broke up with me. In summary what he had to say was "I think we should just be friends, you should forget that we were ever together, I just think that we are "different". " These were painfull things coming from someonw who I was deeply in love with and cared about and someone who had told me that he loved me too. Summer started and he went to visit his parents overseas....it was the worst summer of my life because I had NO CLUE why he had broken up with me. Things looked up when I was finally able to get in contact with him when summer ended and he came back from overseas. However, I was shocked and saddened the way his personality had changed. This person who had spent endless hours on the phone with me could not give me the time of day. Being in my depressed state I begged him for just 5 minutes of his time and told him that it was very hard for me to deal with the situation and if he could spare me just 5 minutes I would want to talk about it. In response he told me that I should not call him again and if I did he would hang up on my face. I tried again after a month or so and he kept on saying that "Im sorry I just cant talk to u anymore" he said this over and over again and hung up on me. That was the last conversation I had with him. This was the worst time of my life, I went from being depressed to being bitter and then being careless I slept around and lost my virginity to a guy whose name I dont remember, only that I had met him at a party. During these times I heard rumors of everything from him (my x) getting engaged back home to still being single. I finally decieded to do some spying and started talking to him pretending to be someone else on the net. As our conversations progressed I found out that he was no longer interested in talking to anyone about me (his x) and was openly flirting with the girl he didnt know was me on the net. Five years have passed now and I still dont have any closure...I dont know the reason why he broke up with me. Was he engaged? Was he not? Why did he go from loving me to not even giving me 5 minutes on the phone? Was he never engaged? Did he ever love me? Although time has done me some good and made things better I did have some short term unsuccessfull relationships after him. But I have found NO CLOSURE to my first love. He never sat me down and gave me a REAL REASON to why he was leaving me. This has been a painfull issue for me and I fear that it will haunt me for the rest of my life. I have no way of finding out these answers...but till today I still wonder WHAT WENT WRONG. And everytime I do I start crying, sometimes I get very upset when I have a dream of him (once in a blue moon). Even in my dreams I ask him why he did what he did and all I see is him turn away or not say anything ( It may sound creepy but I have 5-6 dreams about him in a situation which involved me talking and asking him while he just walked away or did not say anything). I have so many unanswered questions and even though I know that I have moved on and accepted it the FACT THAT I DUNNO WHAT WENT WRONG! bothers me. I feel as if I will carry this burden on my shoulders when I get married, have kids, have grandkids, and to my grave. It is as if I have been punished for life and will never know the REASON. I wonder if he knows what HE HAS DONE 5 years ago has caused me a lifetime of pain, not even the part of breaking up BUT THE PART OF NOT GIVING ME A FAIR CLOSURE. What is hard to bear is that at this point he has moved on with his part of the relationship maybe he is married, maybe he has kids but I am the one who has been left behind with unanswered questions. Sometimes just random small things I see, hear, or read remind me of him. Just like I was reading something and he came to my mind and I started thinking of him and started crying and came to this board. I am 25 now and I have my whole life ahead of me I dont know how I will live WITHOUT ANY CLOSURE it has haunted me for 5 years and it will haunt me for a lifetime i suspect.