bravebird
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I am there too. I was doing all right and now every day is a fight. I usually don't mind being alone, and actually prefer it but lately I've just been craving human interaction and there's no one to connect with. Everyone's got their own thing going on. I know my ex is doing ok. I stupidly went on facebook and saw some photos of him at a party. I can't remember the last time I went to a party.
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Post here instead of contacting your ex!
bravebird replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
I haven't ignored you because I don't want to talk to you. I'm doing it to protect us both. I'm doing it to protect myself from clinging to hope that doesn't even exist and I'm protecting you from seeing how much I'm still struggling and how my life is at a standstill as I try and maneuver my way out of this hurt. I still hope you will try harder to reach me. If you think it's a coincidence we haven't bumped into one another in town, it's not. I've made every effort to not see or be seen. It does my heart good to know that you are happy and content with your life as it is now, but it stings a little knowing that there's no way you could have been in such a state with me. I hate you and I love you and everyday I fight to erase a little piece of you from my memory. -
day...? maybe 14 days since he last contacted me. i stopped keeping track. been broken up for 5 months. i'm no longer buckled with grief, but it's still like a shadow following me everywhere. it's probably similar to the pangs a recovering addict suffers, lessening over time, but triggered at the most in-opportunistic moments.
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1 week NC. 1 month since we saw each other. 4 months post breakup. NC, LC, and everything in between except reconciliation, which I've finally come to accept won't happen. I'm just tired of this emotional numbness...I'm not happy, still feel empty, but not sad enough to linger in bed all day or drink myself silly. Just weary of being weary and unwanted.
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day 11 I'm in a pretty down mood. I thought he would have contacted me by now, because that's his usual pattern. Maybe he sees how much it hurt me to be around him so he's doing this for my own good. Who knows...
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One week NC today. This time last Sunday we were having dinner together "re-connecting"...lol.
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Day 3 I can't get anything done. I feel miserable. I worked so hard to become functional again and now after one encounter I feel as bad as I did in the beginning.
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Day 2. Sunday he took me out for dinner and a movie. All I have are unanswered questions. Will he contact me again? Was our meeting his way of gauging how he really feels? The night didn't end with a "let's do this again" or even "it was nice to see you". All I got was a text that said "thanks again for seeing me." That in itself does not seem like a good sign.
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why is he contacting you at all? did you ever ask? not that you care. i'm just curious though
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um, yeah, so...last sunday the ex contacts me to go see a movie. what day is it now? no contact yet. nuff said.
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isn't your ex the one who is dating someone now? i don't think i could want someone who chose another over me. you deserve BETTER!
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day 9. he emailed me today to check up on my roommate situation and just random chat. i did not respond. if i do, it will just be another 1-2 weeks before he contacts me again. things can't go on this way. maybe it's time to begin the fade to black and put a period at the end of this very long and befuddling sentence.
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Day 7. Struggling. Thought the anger had passed, but I was wrong. Mostly feeling betrayed. I just feel the weight of it all pressing against my skull. A dull throb.
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Day...4? It's been NC/LC on and off for over 2 months now...slowly sinking in after last contact that I am much more tied up in this breakup emotionally than he is, was, or may ever have the capacity to be. sure, he can tell me he "thinks about me a lot" but it must not be in a way that moves him to act so that means very little when all is SAID and/or DONE.
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Post here instead of contacting your ex!
bravebird replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Me: What good things did you take away from the relationship, now that it's over? Him: silence Him:silence Me: Breathing Him: silence Me: clear my throat Him: I... Him: silence Him: I don't know (this is just how i would imagine it going, based on all our "relationship" convos)
