twomonks

during our visit last sunday, 90 and i were feeling gratitude and appreciation for you!

dear journeynow! just found this thread of yours... what a great idea. how grounded you are! what am i grateful for? 1. the deep friendships in my life 2. the abundance of summer... locally grown foods 3. my health 4. that i live in a democratic country 5. indian food 6. that i can see the moon and stars from my bed 7. the peaceful surroundings where i live 8. birdsong 9. CBC (our equivalent of NPR) 10. love

i am curious about what you are doing these days... but i am starting to let you go, a few months back i wouldn't have thought that this was possible.

hey tujna, i was wondering how you were doing with the NC. we all have our weak moments. i send an email to my ex the other day after 30 days (my sister was so pissed that she had me follow it up with another one basically negating what the first one said)... all that to say, in hindsight i wish had had not sent either email. trying not to get down about it now.. and never heard back from him either... now on day 5 ... so of course it is up to you.. but personally, i would discourage you from sending him a message... unless he was going for some risky surgery and might not make it. if its a birthday or milestone, you can always contact him in a year when you are strong and happy. hang in there..

tujna, i have WASTED SO MUCH time this school year since my breakup. i will just be happy to pass this semester. its been hard and i don't have any advice as to how to focus. i read somewhere a suggestion that you establish times in the day when you can mope and think about your ex.. and then work on other things .. such as school. hasn't worked for me! all my energy has gone into NC.. spending time on ENA and reading, writing tons. but its getting down to the crunch now. DAY 8, hey that is great... you got through that first week. Do you have a calendar that you cross off the days. It helped me for the first while, felt good to cross off yet another day. It was something tangible. you can do it!

tujna, maybe you could turn around the lack of mercy your ex affords you, to thinking more about the mercy and compassion you can give to yourself. i can understand your anger, but this is the time to also for you to self-reflect. is there absolutely NOTHING that you did in the relationship that you could have done better or in a more healthy way... that could have contributed to the demise of the relationship? i say this because after the first week or 2 i started to realize just how much i had a part to play in the break-up (lack of communication, controlling behavior, not really hearing what he was trying to tell me). of course, this is a hard lesson to learn and realization to come to after the fact. take this time for you to grow... you can do it. its all about you now!

Day 28 Its been hard, but I know this is my journey and its time to reclaim my life.