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Fionnuala

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  • Birthday 06/02/1985

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  1. This is obviously not true. Of course it changes sometimes, otherwise there wouldn't be any success stories. Just because you've had bad experiences getting back together doesn't mean that "most" don't work or are unhealthy. I've seen just as many reconciliations work out for the better as I have ones that end up falling apart again because they were just as unhealthy as the first time around. Granted, I am much younger than you are, but I know people of all ages who have had this happen in their lives. It all has to do with the circumstances, and whether the reasons for the break up can and have been addressed and fixed. I understand that people want to make sure we're being realistic and not giving false hope, but there's a difference between realism and straight up negativity and pessimism. Yes, most people who break up stay broken up, but successful reconciliations are not that uncommon and it's ridiculous and insulting to act as if anyone who thinks this could happen is living in a fantasy world. Anyway, a few stories I know: 1. One of my closest friends was on and off with her fiancee for two or three years, mostly due to her fear of commitment and abandonment. She cheated on him several times, and they broke up several times. Despite all this, her boyfriend always stuck by her side (sometimes just as a friend) and in the past couple of years she's finally started to work through her issues and stop running from the relationship. They've been going strong again for about a year and a half now and are getting married in August. They're happier now than I've ever seen them, and I'd be very surprised if it doesn't work out for them. 2. Another friend of mine had a boyfriend in college whom she was very close to and loved very much. I'm not sure why they broke up, but they did, and remained friends (though not super close). She's moved to a different state several years later and they weren't in contact as much. I think they ended up finding each other on Facebook or something and when he came to our state, they met up and ended up getting back together. He still lived in their homestate, so they were long distance for a while, but she moved back a few months ago and I wouldn't be surprised if they end up married. 3. I don't know the details of the situation, but I had a friend in college who broke up with her boyfriend, they remained friends with benefits for a while, then ended up getting back together a few months later. That was almost two years ago and they're still together and very happy. 4. Another one I don't really know the details about, but there was a friend I worked with who broke up with her boyfriend for a year, they got back together and have now been together for several more years, are about to have a baby, and also about to get married. 5. My grandma and grandpa were high school sweethearts, they broke up once in high school, but got back together and ended up married when they were still teenagers. They were married for almost 20 years, when he died. Just a few I can think of off the top of my head. I think the important thing to remember is that while reconciliations do happen, you can't count on them happening. There isn't a secret formula that can guarantee it'll happen and work out, so you pretty much just have to prepare yourself for the worst and make your life the best it can be on your own, because if you sit around waiting for it, it probably won't happen and your life will have passed you by in the mean time.
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