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lucasky

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  1. Ugh. Why does everyone think we'll get back together? That's what I want... but waiting two months for you to come home seems unbearable. Why do you always take so long to decide everything? Why do I need to be patient? This is the worst.
  2. Man, I writing to you a lot today, hey? Here's what I wish I could say right now: Hi X, The more time I have to myself, the more I realize how impatient I was being. Even now, I'm impatient. I am trying to learn though. You told me so much about yourself right from the start of our relationship - how it takes you time to make even the smallest of decisions, and how important ones take even longer. What you needed was for me to be myself - but a more secure version of myself than I was ready to be - so I failed, and our relationship has crumbled as such. I'm sorry. I wish I had realized how difficult it is for you to trust someone. I guess I took it for granted because we became so close so quickly. I thought you were just being stubborn or ... I guess I thought I could snap you out of your emotionlessness. You had emotions though, the whole time. Its just that I wasn't seeing them. My needy side kept asking for more. I couldn't have changed who I was because I was on a bad path from the start (insecurity about dating), so I know that this break up was needed, and I've learned from it. I wish I could ask for you back now, but I cannot. Ouch. blhsdfjk
  3. Oh yay! I was just on gmail typing out a long ass email to a friend about things to see in India (shes going there) and you show up on gmail chat. So now I know you read my email. You also loaded up pictures on FB. Wooooo. Yessssss. Must accept its over now. You didn't email me back, didnt say hi on chat. Ouch,
  4. Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Here I genuinely thought you were telling me about your life and all the things you were doing ,and asking me questions because you wanted to fix things - eventually. Whoops I was wrong. You just wanted to chat because you missed me and were lonely. The minute I put myself on the line you back off. I should have kept it friendly only, as I was told to by friends and family, but noooooo I had to sign my email "Even though I'm a nerd, I'm cute, right?" And of course you stopped emailing. I want to be angry at you, but if I get angry, then I'm not growing in the way I need to. I need to learn a) patience b)tolerance. No getting upset at you for being you. That's fine. You're allowed to not want to date me, and you're allowed to not want to reply to that last email. I guess I'm annoyed with myself, I could have not replied to YOU, but instead I went for it. I caved. I'm supposed to be stronger, but I'm not really, am I? Moving on!
  5. My stance on getting back together: It CAN happen. In ANY situation. You just never know. The important thing is to not hold out for a reconciliation, but rather, to take things easy and see where life goes. Some stories I know of: - J & B dated while J was in high school (B was in university). J decided she wasn't interested after maybe 5mos or so and ended it. B was heartbroken... but he never showed it to her. They both dated other people. J went out and lived her life after graduation. B was in a long-term relationship. All the while, however, B would talk endlessly about J. He decided when she returned from Australia that he was going to win her back. He did. They're now happily together 4yrs since reconciling, and they are engaged (live together and have a puppy too). - L & R have dated for 4 years now. R has always been a little bit neglectful - he'd take her for granted and party too late, he'd vanish for a day or two at a time, whatever. They had a few mini-breakups that lasted a couple days, and then finally she had enough with it all and said "see ya" forever. They were broken up about 4mos and R realized his mistakes. They're now happily together and live together (though they did prior to the main breakup - he has a job where he's out of town 3 weeks out of 4). - D & G broke up because D was so focused on the future of their relationship. They had been dating for a year and a half. She always wanted to know - will we get married? My crowd is in their mid 20's and G is really not at a point in his life where marriage is on the table, but he loves D dearly (indeed - I would say those two are true soulmates, their courtship is very long-drawn-out and romantic). G was done with it and ended it. D was heartbroken. She would see him regularly and tried to be his friend, but every time she saw him she'd end up crying. When she was not around him she had such bad anxiety that she had to start taking medication to deal with it. Eventually (after a month) they both realized that while neither of them knows what the future holds one thing is certain: right now, they love eachother, and they want to be together. They've been reconciled for about 6mos now and sound great together. - Ma & Mi Ma and Mi went out for a little while but were never official. Mi essentially used Ma as a * * * * buddy. Mi disappeared eventually only to be seen dating a new girl and Ma was devastated. This was in college. Ma eventually moved on and dated another guy for about 3 years. It was a terrible relationship and between her relationship with Mi and with the other guy, she was shattered. She went into therapy and began working on herself. At some point while Ma was dating the ex that destroyed her, Mi realized how much he missed Ma. He called her non-stop while Ma was with the other guy, but she didn't care. He had treated her like * * * * . Eventually, after Ma had broken up with the other guy, and had begun to feel successful in her therapy, her and Mi got together. Its been 9months now. - C and D dated for two years until C had to move away. They tried long distance, but C was not feeling it. She dumped D. D was devastated but tried her best to move on. Still, D would come and visit C whenever it was convenient. It became a bit of a ... we're not dating but we're not not dating kind of thing. C got a job in Norway (they were at this point on opposite sides of Canada) and had to eventually decide: what does D mean to me? Initially C had no interest in keeping things going. D backed off. Eventually C realized how much she loved C, and admitted to herself that she was ready to have a serious and long-term relationship with D, and so - they went out and got a marriage license so that D could move to Norway with her. - I know two couples that both broke up to LDR (amicable breakups). In both cases, the men in the relationships were very sad about the break ups, but accepted them as necessary and moved on. In both cases, when the women came home - the men asked the ladies back out - and the couples got back together. Both are now married. All of these stories show that a broad spectrum of breakups can lead to reconciliation. You could have been in love prior to the break up, but you may not have been. You could have had a short-term relationship, or a long-term one. You may be broken up for a couple months, or a couple years. The break up may have been mutual, it may not have been. The dumper may have been the one to re-establish ties, or it may have been the dumpee. There are no fixed rules. The only real trend I can see is that while some of these stories contain one person in the relationship being either a) really clingy or b) really avoidant, none of these stories include cheating or abuse. I guess you never know though. That's just my two cents!
  6. P.S. How the heck have so many people been doing NC so LONG!? Its been TWO WEEKS and it feels like an eternity. I can't imagine getting to two months! Ha!
  7. Hi B, I miss you lots. Yes I sure do. I cannot believe how much of myself I sacrificed while in our relationship - and it was never things you wanted me to sacrifice. You loved my independence, my strength, how fun I was. Somehow I slowly slipped out of that and became more and more clingy and made it sound as if being strong and independent was a struggle that I needed to "work on". Well I'm getting my old self back. The one we both loved. I wish I could be this girl for you now. But, I need to keep working on myself because I'm still not stable. I have her some days, other days I fear (if we were together) that I would fall back into my clingy and visionless ways. I DO think we can be together once I've got a hold of myself again - if you have learned how to love yourself too. I hope you feel that way also. I really really do. Time apart now is needed, and I'm not repairing myself for you (its for ME!), but I still want to reconcile someday. I just can't do that while we're together. I think you knew that, and well... I guess you said these same things to me. Reconciling would be awesome if we could fix our problems - and that could be 4 months, 6 months, years from now. We can't focus on WHEN that will be because it will restrict our personal growth. I'm supposed to give up on us. I probably will, slowly. I'll start to date other people, I'll start to like some of the guys, I'll get burned, I'll burn some of them, I'll find someone else. But until then, I will always love and long for your return. I keep thinking that when you get back... in two months from now... maybe I can try then to win you back. But then I think - that's enough time for ME (I think so anyways) but how will you be? Will you be ready? Will you have had enough time to chin up a bit? I don't know. You probably don't know either. So while hoping that I'll be in your arms again sooner than later is a nice thought, I know that it could take much longer - maybe never. Oh boy. I miss you a lot. I miss your smile. Stay beautiful, okay (or handsome!)? There's so much good you've got going on for you, I hope it always stays. Love, Luca
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