browner95

I'm going through a somewhat similar thing....My girlfriend of 7 months dumped me a few weeks ago, and i've been pretty devastated. I too thought that she was "the love of my life", and she was also my first love. She says that we should be good friends, and maybe something more someday, just like your ex says. I'm trying the friendship thing now, and it's going ok. There have been other bad things going on in my life, and she does make me feel a lot better. But at the same time I've just got way too much hope that we will get together again someday. It's distracting me from meeting other people, and it's tough to live with this hope. I think the friendship thing will be very hard, if not impossible. My plan is to just take it easy, and avoid contact and most conversation for a few months, maybe just one. Try to get myself settled down. I don't know if this helps you at all, but just know that you are NOT alone in this. I know how you feel. Good luck.

Wow...that's all I can say...I should copy and paste your post and use it as my own. I know exactly how you feel right now man. My ex girlfriend (been separated 3 weeks) was the world to me. We talked about how we would NEVER break up, and a few times she told me that she makes a wish every night that "we would get married someday and have kids". A dog wouldn't be bad either, lol. But I have that same gut feeling that she is the one for me, it's deep down. Since we broke up we still talk every day, and we got together and made out once. I KNOW she still has feelings for me, as do I for her, and that's why it's confusing when she says, just like your ex, "I think we can be really good friends". Now since we've been apart i've made a few mistakes (read my first post), but I know I still love her....Now to your main point, can you get back together. Nothing is impossible, and when girls go to college for the first time they start acting really weird. Give it a semester, seriously, she'll see that college life isn't that fulfilling, and that she misses YOUR love. I mean, this isn't for sure, all I'm saying is that she's just probably feeling really confused right now. Give it time, and play your cards right. Don't act desperate, don't get mad about the other guys she's been seeing...Keep your cool no matter how hard it seems. Be there for her, really try to be "really good friends". And be sure to make eye contact with her when you see her, you can find out a lot that way....Good luck man, seriously...If this helps at all jot me a note or email me, i'd like to hear from you man. Peace.

I was in your same situation back when I was a freshman in highschool...I was PAINFULLY shy, no joke, and no joke that it sucked. But lucky for me, I had a few older friends who helped me out a lot. This is how I got better. First I realized it's all in my head, I realized that I was a damn interesting person, and that people will like me if I spoke out more. After I realized that, which wasn't hard, I moved on to phase II. That phase includes trying to care less about what other people say each day...This usually involved doing something goofy, or just randomly talking to someone I didn't know, or like, dancing by my locker....Dude it's not as hard as you think, just realize that life is short. You gotta try to make the most out of it...Sounds corny I know, but it's true. Once you start doing random things, you've pretty much got it made. You'll have more confidence in groups, and maybe a few stories to tell about your antics. Plus, if she is hyper, she'll prolly like how you just randomly do things sometimes. Remember....It's all in your head, be who you think you are, not who you think others think you are. And look at my signature, "perception determines behavior"...powerful stuff, powerful stuff.

It's true, you've got to try your HARDEST to get over her. Dude, you're going to meet a lot of other girls (this never makes me feel better, but trust me, you will). I have this feeling that you are "the man", seriously, I have a feeling that you are really a cool person. Just remember that there are a lot of girls out there, and even though there is uncertainty and pain in your heart now, it will go away, and someday you will be in love with a girl that loves you...Have a good one, and may the force be with you.

Remember that there is a difference between infatuation and love, I know what you're thinking, you KNOW you loved him...But try and think about this as deeply as you can....And it's going to get better girl, really, it is. You're going to meet some amazing guys, you're going to learn a lot about love, and disappointment. Trust me on this, seriously, listen to what i'm about to say, ok?? Someday you WILL look back on this and say to yourself "why did I get so sad over this?"...You will. I know that right now none of this helps, but just remember that someday you will feel better, you will, and there's nothing more to it. And there is no certain time that you can begin to feel better at. You could feel better in 10 minutes, it's all in your head. Remember that too, this is all in your head, you can change the way you feel about this with thoughts. Hope this helps a little, I'll say a prayer for your broken heart tonight. May the force be with you.

I'm ten years younger than you, so my wisdom isn't quite on par with yours, but I'll do my best to help you. I was alone for a long time, actually I never had a girlfriend til I was 20, I enjoyed just like you did, but there were some lonely, hard nights mixed in there. I thought all my problems would be solved if I had a girlfriend. Then I met Annie!! She made everything better for a while, she was amazingly beautiful, she was everything I'd ever wanted, yeah. Anyway after a while I just wanted to be with other girls so bad! I loved Annie, but for some reason I just wanted to be with other girls. It was all in my head, all in my head. Some people will say that you don't really love the person if you feel this way, but I don't think that's true. It's human nature. Smack yourself, try as hard as you can to recognize what you have. Get in the right mindset, try as hard as you can to get in the right mindset. I didn't, I ended up messing things up with her because i thought something was wrong with me, and she wasn't right for me. I didn't realize how big of a mistake I made until after she broke up with me. Now I'm sitting here, you know, still feeling broken hearted, but better. Just DONT do anything hasty, and focus on all the good, tell yourself you want this girl...I have a feeling you really do deep down, this is all just in your head....Good luck, brother, and may the force be with you.

I'll let everyone know the whole situation here. I was with a girl for 7 months, we never had sex because I was waiting til I was married, it was the one commitment I always kept. This girl had had sex before, many times, and I couldnt get over that (though she only gave me a day), and we separated three weeks ago. Fast forward to last night, I was drinking with my friend Sara, and we ended up making out for a while...and, well, got naked. She sorta grabbed it and stuck it inside her, so we had sex for about 20 seconds. I didn't ejaculate, I didn't come close, but I'm still worried sick that she'll get pregnant. I would have to drop out of school to get a job, we'd have to get married, my family would hate me, her family would hate me....When she gets the test back, and it comes positive, I really don't know what i'll do, I really don't....I guess I don't know what I'm asking for here, just something, an angel.