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Sturmhouse

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  1. My fiance dumped me a few months ago. We stopped talking for a month, had some level of interaction for another month, and after some high emotions we're back together and re-engaged. We have some trust issues, but as far as our relationship it's better than it ever was
  2. Day 13 for me. Things are getting easier. I've pinpointed this to the fact that I'm creating a lot of hope for myself. I know that this could really end up hurting me down the road, but I know this girl and I know we're compatible and she knows it too. I've been doing a whole lot to improve myself, and I actually like the improvements! She was reluctant to "change" me because she has this silly stupid idea that you shouldn't have to "change" someone for a relationship to work. Well, I read some of that book that was reccommended on another thread, "Make up don't break up," and at least for me, it TOTALLY connects and aligns itself with the dynamics of our relationship. I think it would do the same for a lot of you on here as well. It also totally disproves that idea that there is a perfect someone. Most people who connect and stay together for an extended period of time ARE as perfect as they're going to get, it just takes understanding of the other person to work through the different stages of relationship development. You can get it on link removed for like 3 or 4 dollars shipped. Can't beat it. I went ahead and read the first 60 or so pages on link removed. Once you get an understanding of how your partner works, and how you work in tandem things become a lot clearer; now comes the tricky part, winning her back and getting her to read the same stuff!
  3. Day 10 as well. It's a rollercoaster for me. Some days I'm full of hope, others hopeless. Today, I'm not really focused so much on how to get her back but just the fact that I miss her and the prospect of never being with her again really saddens me. Considering what we had, and how our relationship developed, I am surprised it ended. I know why it ended and I don't blame her for it, but I thought it was worth a little more effort. Ah well, I guess I need to just work on myself and use every opportunity I get to show that to her. I really think she's perfect for me, with some minor tweaks, I think I can be perfect for her.
  4. Fiffy, don't know what to tell you. Sometimes, being mad is a great way to get over a relationship. It's an easy way out for some which is why they try to find reasons to get mad. If I were you, I'd just get mad, find a way to assert yourself to him and let him know how you feel. I wouldn't act hurt, I'd just be straight and to the point. Then, no contact (even if he contacts you) and just move on. As for me, I'm on day 9 of NC with my ex. Last communication was on plenty good terms, she said it would be best if I had minimum contact with her because it would be "easier" on me. I think that's a nice little facade to disguise her guilt and hurt over the decision. At any rate, I have my ups and downs, and I have been doing well with myself. Today, she got online for the first time in a month - at least. She stayed online for a good 30-45 minutes. For the first 15 or so I sat there and stared at her name, waiting for a message. I decided to go watch some TV to distract me, and if she messaged me and I missed it, oh well, she'll have to wait. I would like to assume she was doing something similar, but there's no way of knowing. She hardly ever gets on anymore, and near the end of the relationship the only reason she would get on is to talk to me. Either she turned on the computer and it logged her in automatically and she paid no attention - or - she was online to see if I would contact her but didn't want to be the initiator. Any interpretations? Let's hear em!
  5. We all have these questions. It's common, not uncommon to wonder how this person we love so much can simply no longer contact us. Do they miss us? Do they think about us as much as we think about them? How can they just erase us from their life? The fact is, dumpers are working diligently post breakup to justify their actions. They will find reasons, excuses, or evidence to bring validity to their decision and to justify it. Immediately, the reasons always seem legitimate and necessary for a breakup, over time though (provided you have no contact), rational thinking will set in and if you did in fact have many redeemable qualities and a solid relationship before those will take priority and a reevaluation will be in order. So, if you use this time to think back on the relationship and come to the logical (see: not emotional) conclusion that the relationship was great despite it's flaws and the failings are fixable, it is likely the dumper will also (eventually, hopefully) come to the same conclusion.
  6. I got the same line. I don't mind contact from you, but it'll be easier on you if minimum contact is made.
  7. Does anyone else feel that the longer you have no contact the less your chances will be? This * * * * is so counterintuitive, it drives me crazy!
  8. Day 7 as well I find myself seriously questioning if she's worth pursuing today. Even if we could date again, I wonder if she's just convinced that she could never live with me forever. She gave the reasons which are fixable, but what if it's deeper than that? What if she never really loved my personality to begin with? I don't know why these feelings are cropping up. I haven't heard a word from her since I went NC. Not a text, not an e-mail, not a call, nothing. Not even a happy new year.
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