wandering_mind

first of all, you don't really need to come out and tell your parents that you masturbate. secondly, even if you did they probably wouldn't be at all surprised. almost everyone masturbates...men, women...teen girls+boys... so it shouldn't be something that embarrasses you. many ppl use visuals when they masturbate (otherwise...why would porn sites be so popular). you shouldn't feel weird or anything like that. it's a part of life. also, i don't think they'd be mad if they walked in on you or anything. but, if you're still worried about it...try to find a private place...or ask ppl to knock before they come in your room.

i think you should let her move in with you. maybe you have fights on the phone, becuase the distance makes the two of you or one of you a little antsy. either way, if things don't work out when she moves in she can always move out. also, i wouldn't take the negative 'advice' from your friends or whatever. moving in is a good step. it might be a little rocky at first--but, hey it may end up feeling like the best things in the world. if you two ever hope to make the next step (marriage)...this moving thing is going to have to happen sometime. my boyfriend and i had a long distance relationship for about a year and i moved in with him. it couldn't be more wonderful. sure, we have our fights but...every couple does. improving your sex life...i think she'll have the best advice to give you concerning that. she knows what she wants and what pleases her. talk to her about it...maybe she has some things in mind that you haven't tried or that the two of you could improve.

it sounds as if she's been playing head games with you for a while. she doesn't deserve you. it would be better if you left her and moved on with your life. don't let her manipulate and trick you into getting back with her if she tries later on. when you move out try to disassociate yourself from her completely. no phone calls, visits, e-mails...nothing. avoid doing things the two of you did on a routine basis. get on with your life. she seems very selfish and uncaring...especially if she continued to lead you on for a year. how did she expect for things to get better if she kept her feelings to herself? i don't think she expected they would...she was probably using you for other things.

stop worrying about whether or not spanking is 'normal.' being turned on sexually has to do with the individual. there are PLENTY of ppl that enjoy being spanked (i know i do) and i'm sure some ppl that deny it...secretly wish for it to happen. there is a cliche' phrase that can easily answer your question-- "different strokes for different folks" have you ever browsed any type of online porn accidentally or intentionally? if not you should, so you can see just what i'm talking about. spanking, the use of adult 'toys', anal sex and other 'taboo' practices are featured on these sites a lot. these sites wouldn't make money if ppl didn't enjoy looking at it. also, ivillage has interesting topics that concern "taboo" sexual practices. sex should be fun and exciting. don't keep yourself from getting aroused, because you're afraid that you're thoughts aren't "normal."

yes. i think it's better to get out the truth now. no matter, what lies almost ALWAYS come back to haunt you and the truth eventually comes out. why not talk to your partner and get out with it. i think it would be better to do this. that way the two of you could talk about what problems were going on in your relationship that led to your infidelity in the first place. show him that you can be trusted in this relationship by confessing to him now. if he finds out years or even months for now, you may never be able to get him to trust you again. if you feel guilty about this, it's not going to look like you do if he finds out later...or accidentally. also, if you don't tell him, are you really sure that your not going to be tempted to do something like this again? i know you feel bad about it now; however, you did this to your partner and to yourself for a reason. that reason might not be apparent right now. that's why you need to talk about it--so that you have some hope of saving your relationship. i think relationship counseling is a 'must' in this situation. SHOW him that you are sorry and that you love him. SHOW him that he can trust you. put yourself in his shoes, now is not the time to be selfish.

i think your friend definitely wants him. her friendship seems unsincere and she acts as if she is angry at you about something. i think that there may be a jealousy issue with your friend. there are a lot of girls in the world like this--i know from experience. did she introduce the two of you? maybe she has liked him from the beginning and set you and your ex bf up together as a test to see if he would go for you. she probably, was hoping from the beginning that he'd reject you and end up confessing his "true feelings" about her. when he didn't, she probably realized he never liked her in the first place and became jealous of you. bottom line: if your friend knows you still care about him and is obviously in pursuit of him. you need to let her go. she sounds very backstabbing. also, i noticed that he always tells you when they hang out and she doesn't. could it be that he invites you also and she doesn't tell you in order to purposely leave you out of it so she can have him to herself? he seems like he's still interested. your "friend", is sad and needs to get a life.

i can only imagine the hurt that you are going through right now. it seems like you are on the right track, however. you don't need this creep. only someone selfish and sick could waste someone else's life and drain them emotionally like this. i think you should probably try talking to a counselor every once and a while. if you don't issues of trusting ppl in general and insecurities will begin to flair up in your life. there is no quick road to recovery in situations like this. abstain from having any kind of contact with him. he will only try to manipulate you into thinking that he is remorseful. if he is sorry--it's only because he's sorry for himself. try to avoid going to places you guys went on a rountine basis--such as pubs, restaurants, clubs, etc... you need to disassociate yourself as much as you can from him and your past. good luck

he's been with his girlfriend for a year, so he's obviously in love with her. what you may think is flirting is probably just friendly behavior on his part. i've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we both constantly get annoyed by ppl who don't take our relationship seriously. i hate when guys flirt with me and he brushes women off that flirt with him. i think that if this guy really had feelings for you...he would have ended it with his girl a long time ago. if you don't believe me, try divulging your true feelings toward him. he probably won't be 'flirty' anymore and i doubt your friendship would ever be the same. bottom line he's taken and obviously happy. maybe you should disassociate yourself from him and find someone NOT in a relationship.

i don't think your girlfriend is stupid for not taking you back. i'm sure that when the two of you first got together, you showered her with compliments and gifts. you've lost her trust and you demeaned her at the same time. give up, you don't deserve her.

1. he was never your love (he's lying and manipulative) 2. this girl is not your best friend (if she knows how much this hurts you and how much you love him...she wouldn't go out with him...) sounds like something's been going on behind your back for a while.

i think you should really pursue another relationship. if the flame really has gone out, why hasn't he just left his husband and agreed to help him out financially. why does he still live with this man? why don't they just agree that they're better off friends. if he cares about his husband so much that he won't leave until his husband is financially stable...then it's obvious that he is not solely yours. it's also likely, that he never will be nor intends to devote himself entirely to you. it seems, like he's just feeding you excuses to keep you around as a side dish. leave now, before you end up getting hurt even more than you already are.

I know that you think that your feelings are real; however, it is very doubtful that the two of you really know each other--much less love each other. how do you know for sure who this guy is. for all you know he could be a conniving pedophile that looks at kiddie porn online while he chats with you. if he were really serious about pursuing this relationship further, he would have tried to make peace with your parents first. he wouldn't be keeping all of this a secret. if he really cared about your well-being he wouldn't be taking away from your teenage years by manipulating you into thinking that he loves you. you don't really know this man. this is a dangerous thing to pursue. you probably don't even know his medical history, or his legal history. maybe he has been arrested in the past for molesting young girls. or maybe he has a girlfriend HIS age and he lies to both of you. maybe he's been to jail for assaulting someone. he might even try to beat, kill, or rape you someday. bottom line guy that respects or loves you (especially a person 9 years older than you) is going to be so immature and conniving that he keeps this a secret from your parents. your parents really should have turned him into the police. despite what you think...you don't really know this guy. have you ever talked to his parents? do they even know about you? the reason relationships like this are illegal in the first place, is because the ppl that made the laws know that old men and women like to prey upon less experienced teenagers and children. he's miles away. why not try dating someone your age for a while. it's difficult to really know someone and keep a relationship going strong with someone that might live the street from you or even with you. i know you said, that trust isn't an issue. but maybe that's because you haven't questioned his intentions enough. your parents were angry and upset for a reason. how do you define 'love?' would this person really be there for you if something terrible happened to you? (and i don't mean if someone said something nasty behind your back...or your parents grounded you). also, you have to question why a man 9 years older than you would need to be involved with someone in highschool in the first place. why not someone his age? why not someone that lives near him? and if he really cares about you so much and wants to be with you (even if it is in secret)...why hasn't he found a job closer to where you live and moved there himself? i know you didn't want to read any of this. i know you've probably heard it before. but, it's true. you need to get real.