SarCareBear

yeah i know it is a pretty common thing. what SUCKS is that he lead me on for a while with maybe's, and i knew he was a little into me too, so it makes me somehow MORE pissed off that he's ultimately let me down. alas..... psshhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. that is the sign of my letting go and overanalysis.

i suppose i am just sad. it seems like there isn't a lot of time or space left for that in this world. but maybe i'll let myself just be that for now. i still have my friends and family and schoolwork and plans and future. but being let down is rough. i'm going to try to treat myself well for a little while and see how i feel. my final two cents for the night before i hit the sack.

alrite i just hardcore need to get this out of my system. a good friend of mine who i've been into for a while, who's kind of gone back and forth with me as to whether or not he feels the same way, just finally let me down tonight (in online talk). he said he doesn't feel he has enough time on his hands, doesn't want to ruin the friendship, is still working on getting over his ex and so just basically doesn't want a relationship right now. i told him it was alright and apologized about a billion times for any weirdness i caused on account of my, basically wanting him. I JUST FEEL REALLY DUMB. and i'm just using this post to remind myself that you can't control other people and their actions and decisions, and not to take it personally. people do their own thing. i just feel like it's too bad, and like he used every typical off-the-hook excuse without having to say he's just not into me, but yet, i should just accept it. so, i shall accept away. anyone's input on the situation or similar situations in general is welcome, please ](*,)

the bad problem is we live accross the hall from eachother, and thus hang around with the same friends, the people who live around us. i have other friends that i can get out and spend time with, but bottom line i still live there. so especially not knowing if he received the messages, which i can really only kick myself for sending, i can usually hold back just fine... just gonna be awkward and bad when i see him again, no matter what (i'm away for the weekend). AHH!!

i have been trying to pursue this guy, one of my good friends, casually for a while now. he's super intense and will regularly admit it basically takes an army to get his guard down, thus, the spontaneous kiss will not seem to make itself happen. we've been talking a lot since second semester started, and hes taken to being rather anti-social and generally depressed, kind of staying in his room alone unless someone knocks and he'll let them come in and chill or whatever, while he continues to do his own thing. i textd him tonight *always dumb, i know* to say that i enjoyed a convo we had just been having, but please for the sake of our friendship, can he please let me know if there is a chance for us to talk about "us" (because it is a subject that has come up once in a while, always with a promise of "soon" or at the "right time"). even though i'm pretty sure he got said text he just hasnt answered it. i followed with, well, if you respect me at all, i'll be waiting for the answer. he hasn't answered them (something he's done before). okay, i KNOW text messages are dumb and theres no way to even be 100% sure he got them. i know i can't just expect to change him or be the answer to his misery, but is there anything i can even do??? as connected as we are, and we both admit it, every time i try to get closer to him he seems to just want to escape, literally fall through the floor. i just want so badly to show him all the care i have for him. and if he wasn't into me, wouldn't he just admit it and spare the awkwardness?? so now, especially in light of the text message, what should i even do??? this is bumming me out so much.

so New Years Eve, i called my good guy friend from college, whom im also very interested in, just to say happy new years and whatever. well i got him on the phone we were both really drunk, and talked for like 40 minutes. i don't remember a lot of it though, but i know we both talked about missing eachother for a lot of it. and i think at one point i said "me and you" and he said "i know, we'll talk about it sober". he said okay i will call you tomorrow if not the next day. so he didn't call the tomorrow, so the next day i left him a short facebook message like, "you're a cute drunk and now you owe me a phone call". and he answered me back like yeah i know, i will call, it was great talkin to you. EXCEPT HE STILL HASN'T CALLED. what is the meaning of all of this!?!? he knows im interested in him, and we never run out of things to talk/laugh about. so why isn't he calling me, especially when he says he will???

dating a guy in your group of mutual, co-ed friends, whom all live and hang out together at college. how should i approach this? me and the guy are pretty tight, we have had intimate talks and he's told me i'm one of the people he feels closest to here. we sort of touched on maybe-relationship convo territory, and although he had once said he was "very interested" in me, he expressed a sort of "i don't want to complicate things" attitude, and said it was nothing personal. but the problem is, we have so much fun together, and i really like him a lot, i am just very interested in him! it's such a case of, me being happy and satisfied with my life, but it would be that much better if he were a more intimate part of it. would it be out of line to discuss things with him again? how should i go about it? (because i already pulled a "first move" thing and he moved away and immediately engaged me in a conversation of how he didn't want to "ruin the friendship/dorm dynamic".) it's just that, i feel like i need some direction with our relationship, but i don't want to seem pushy or needy or anything, i just feel so attracted to him all the time. so yeah.. advice please!!!

my feelings: take him off the pedestal in your head. remember, even though he's the object of your affections, he's still JUST a guy, and from what you've said, an inexperienced (relationship-wise) and somewhat confused one at that. it seems this guy doesn't particularly know what he wants... so start putting ideas into his head. some outright flirting may be in order... make him realize how good things would be with you two.

why sit around sulking about not having a beautiful girlfriend, then? why don't you try politely chatting up the next beautiful girl you see and then getting her number? if she doesn't like you for who you are, then you can just know she's not the one for you. worrying about something you basically can't change, such as your stature, will get you absolutely nowhere. as a matter of fact its a huge waste of precious time. everyone has something they are not satisfied with look-wise, whether it's height or weight or a facial feature, so welcome to being human. you are what you are, now deal with it and go get some happiness.

a good friend of mine is 6 feet tall and 140 pounds, a very slender guy. he can beat on his sternum and make a pretty loud noise of it. we've been at college for 3 months and he's already had at couple of flings with girls, and i know he's had a serious girlfriend or two in the past. so don't use your stature as your excuse for not getting girls, it is clearly a false position.

by the way, the way i work is that i can't play the field. it's just not my thing, i tend to have a one-track mind. not necessarily in an obsessive way, and i mean i know it's a good idea to hypothetically move on, but i am superr picky and it's not very often that i'm really into someone. so i guess this guy is just kinda important to me. and yes, i am a freshman. any other comments and advice are still definitely appreciated, i can't help but be in a bit of a funk over it. i spent a couple months ignoring my feelings the best i could, throwing myself into work and school clubs and other friends and stuff, only to end up feeling kind of numb inside (he and i are in the same group of friends so he's always around anyway). and now that everything is inconclusively on the table, i guess i just don't know what to do.

okay here's the deal. me and the guy i like have known eachother for like 2 months, go to college together live in the same dorm. we've basically been mutually into eachother since day one, but earlier on talked about holding off any relationship until things were more settled in terms of this whole brand new environment and such. in that time we've become pretty good friends adn my attraction to him is as strong as ever. so flash forward to two months later... we were both a little tipsy and i made a move on him, just a kiss, and he basically turned away. he text messaged me as soon as we had parted ways to say, basically, not to take it personally and he thinks its for the own good of not messingup our friendship. so flash forward to one night later... i told him i really needed to talk, and he was cool with that so we went outside to talk. i told him basically how i feel, and told him i was interested in starting something with him, and he was extremely wishy-washy, saying he doesn't know, but he doesn't want to say no to something happening in the future, that it's not me and that i'm great and awesome and he knows we'd basically be great together. but that he just can't say yes right now, that he's 50/50, can't decide. so i told him, obviously i'm not going to sell him on me, if he's not into me then he's not. we went back inside and hugged goodnight like usual before some people interrupted, and that was that. do his words mean just that?? i really like this guy so much, and he even knows he was giving me BS reasons for not wanting to get involved, so what's the deaL?? he is such a sweet guy who is also very high-strung and tends to worry about everything. what can i possibly do here??

yes, i believe anything is possible in terms of friendships changing over to relationships. you two are friends so obviously he likes you as a person, but may have never entertained the idea of you two being romantic before. everyone's emotions work differently. at this point, however, after all that miscommunication through other people, creating any type of first move is going to be up to you. and remember... it's a positive thing, what you two might have. tough advice, what with the awkwardness that might ensue, but it's the only way.

well i had in mind more "making out" if you will.. the thing was, i didn't and wouldn't rule out a relationship with him, i guess i'm just more of a "natural progression" type person when it comes to relationships... i mean, you gotta see if the chemistry's smokin first, right? haha

vermillion your situation sounds like it might have been like mine... he told me he was very interested in me in a response to a text message, by the way. he also told me he thought us talking about a relationship "wouldn't be a bad idea"... then i sort of asked him to hook up one night but he said he didn't want to start out "on that foot".... what the hell does it all mean!? am i supposed to now be hard to get, easy to get, whattt... i feel like the "attraction" game should be of push and pull, and i'm not really feeling it so much now. i still have a great spark for him though. do you think he's lost interest? this all happened a couple months ago. we live accross the hall from eachother.