catfeeder

While the exercise of writing might help to clarify things in your mind and get them off your chest, I would not send such a message. Think about your intentions. Do you want to try to influence your ex in any way? If so, it's an attempt to manipulate her, and she'll see through it. If not, there's no reason to send it, because no matter how you slice it, the overall message behind your message would be, "I'm still so hung up on you that I can't manage self control, so instead of writing privately to myself, I'm sending this to try to influence you, no matter how unattractive it makes me appear." Don't do it. Understand that nobody can tell another when their grief 'should' subside, but I can tell you that healing isn't something that magically happens 'to' us. It requires our participation. Think of how you are spending your time, and if it hasn't been invested in tending to those friends and family in your life who you may have neglected in favor of this relationship, please consider reaching out to set up time with each of them. Make commitments you will not break. Whether you help a neighbor garden or clean out a garage, or you just treat someone to a drink or a meal and listen to them, it will move you out of your own way, and it will help you to 'normalize' and feel valued again. It leads to confidence as it gets you back out into the world. Our focus is everything. If you're ruminating, you're drilling yourself into a deeper hole to climb out of, and you're making your own healing more difficult. If you can invest, instead, in pursuing some interests, hobbies, time giving of yourself to other people, you are making that climb forward one step at a time. Head high, and write more if it helps.

One tip for getting better grades would be to punctuate your sentences. While you may consider whether any other job might suit you better, if not, you'd only put yourself through the same resistance with another job. While you're describing the sinking feeling lots of people get when they don't want to end their time off and go to work the next day, the fact that you're doing this perpetually throughout the week is something you may want to contact your school's counseling department for help managing. Counselors can teach you tools and techniques for shifting your perspective in your own favor, and holding yourself accountable to them can help train you to do the exercises they can give you. However, while we can all use our inner voice in a more productive and encouraging way (like the voice of an inspiring coach instead of a saboteur), a counselor is also trained to assess whether something deeper needs to be addressed, such as depression or anxiety, or another condition for which you might opt for treatment. I'd also consider whether your resistance is an internal plea for your parents to allow you to remove this undesired thing from your schedule? If this is your first job, you might be longing for age 17, when such a thing was not required of you. At 18 you may not have yet reconciled that adults will no longer remove undesired circumstances from your path. It's something we've all had to accept, yet some people find this easier than others. If I could give my younger self advice, it would be that my own self talk can make things harder for me OR easier for me, depending on my own choice in how I frame things. If my inner voice is critical and resistant, I can talk myself into making things far more difficult than they need to be. As an adult, this was the most liberating thing I've ever learned how to change, and I wish I could have learned this when I was your age. Head high and write more if it helps.

No, our bodies often tell us what our mind doesn't wish to know. This isn't just visual. For instance, our sense of smell can unconsciously pick up the scent of another's immune system and signal a lack of attraction when theirs is too closely similar to our own. This is because, while our offspring might take on the height genes of one partner or the curly hair of the other, the immune systems of both partners combine to form a broader and stronger protection in our children. So our sense of smell seeks diversity in these genes. This is just only one example of why we can't force attraction. It's far more complex than looks or matching values and interests. As for trying to rush your urge to couple up, it's not helpful to sabotage your own psyche when you can mobilize, instead, to raise your odds of meeting more women. Expand your social life through meetup.org groups, community projects, volunteering for causes that matter to you, using dating apps, doing what it takes to meet people and cultivate friendships which can raise your chances of being introduced to more women socially. However, it's crucial to grasp the natural odds that most people are NOT our match. It's like trying to fit two puzzle pieces together. You can't force a fit without impacting the outcome--and wasting your time. We all view one another through a unique lens, and the right match for you will attract you. Some wrong matches might attract you, too, and that's true for everyone. It's why, the more important partnering is to you, the more resiliency you'll need to keep moving forward to meet more potential matches. Self sabotage won't improve your odds, and neither will social stagnation. Head high, you can do this.

This tells you all you really need to know. A partner is supposed to be someone we feel able to trust. This guy is not that for you. He's also no the only guy in the world. Find a better man.

She only became suspicious when he danced with her? The fact that, right upfront, he was hiding his texting other women from his GF--that didn't ring any warning bells for her? Anyone who is disloyal to their own partner is un-trust-worthy--for anyone to deal with. Allowing him into one's home is a flat out stupid move. I wouldn't put it past an un-trust-worthy person to be casing the joint for future access, capable of spiking a drink, stealing something, or anything else. I'd question this friend's judgment going forward. She wouldn't be my go-to source of advice, that's for sure.

Why? All this EX wants to do is meet the person who will be a mother figure to her kid. No lawyers required. If an ex puts conditions on child visitation to which the other does not agree, then obtaining legal advice for handling this is a valid suggestion. None of us can speak to his ex's motivations or intentions. He knows her far better than we do--we're strangers on the Internet.

It's never a good idea to try to keep someone in a relationship who is raising doubts. They're raising them because they want you to do the dirty work of respecting yourself enough to walk away. Head high.

That'll do it. When is the last time you had a confrontation with one of your parents about your sex life? It can certainly throw a wet blanket on things. You get to decide whether this woman matters to you enough to stop pressuring her. Her parent's home no longer feels like a safe place for her to have sex.

Good. It doesn't make sense to get involved in the middle of anyone else's breakup, whether married or not. That's not a moral finder wag, it's just practical self-protection. Feeling any need to spy on another's conversation positions you badly, because it's your signal that you're not in the right match. Head high, and while I'm sorry you needed to suffer this lesson the hard way, you did well.

In your shoes, I'd be asking a lawyer or legal aid, not us.

The woman doesn't even know how to apply for the job, much less pass all the levels of screenings and testing and internship hours. Really, it's not like she'd just need to pee in a cup, then she'd be handed a badge and gun. I wouldn't worry about this. Head high, and best of luck moving yourself forward.

The guy gave you a front row preview of his disloyal, untrustworthy nature, and you loved it? Good luck with that.

Okay, great. That's a few weeks away, and your hobby, while engrossing, is solitary. Consider this social circle you'll see at the party, and reach out to some of those friends to hang one-on-one, or tend to family, or a neighbor, or whoever can use your help with something. The point is to be 'externally' busy and to cultivate your bonds with others instead of strengthening a reclusive tendency. This works best when you are motivated to move out of your own way. Not only is this a great healing technique, it can move you beyond reclusive tendencies, which tend to solidify as we age. When that happens, it's more and more difficult to reverse.

Yeah, he's disloyal. Not friendship material. I'd stop replying to him, and I'd avoid close dancing with him. If he asks you anything about not texting, I'd just be honest with him, "I'd heard that you didn't want your GF knowing about the women you text, and I'm not down with that." Boom, done. But I wouldn't allow his presence to stop me from enjoying the rest of the group. Think of it as navigating your way through a wedding reception. There's sometimes somebody who has a rep for groping or whatever, and you'd have no trouble avoiding him. Also, as is common safety practice today, be careful with your drink. Not only should you never leave it unattended, but even while standing with it, there are cocktail fitting lids for women that allow just the straw to poke through. But I'd still watch it, because the straw itself can get spiked.

If you want to defend son's position on this, that's not against the law. It just won't buy you anything. I'm with grandma. None of us are 'entitled' to assume the degree of our imposition on another. Son gets to live with himself for doing that, and if he wants to offend and disown his own grandmother over such a small thing, then he gets to live with that, too. He won't be able to make things right with her after she's gone. If you ever decide that he's making a mistake, then hopefully you're close enough with him to communicate that with him. Best wishes.