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The casual email sounds good. Princess also has a good point, it'll be a good excuse to initiate contact. Ask for her phone number in your email (if you don't have it already). I think it's more direct to ask someone out over the phone, but every situation is different. I had a similar decision recently, and may have waited too long. (Now I'm catching some flak for it on this forum.) I do know that you'll want to ask her out while you're still fresh in her mind, especially since you've just met. Also, I wouldn't worry about having her depend on you for company. You'll know if you're seeing too much of each other.

Both of the preceding responses gave great tips. Let me just add to what they've said. While your strategy may vary depending on your audience (the grader), the types of essay questions, and how much time you get, the approach to all essays remains the same. 1. Study your topic, and make sure you understand what it asks for. Does it ask for an explanation of facts or a defense of an opinion? 2. Tailor your thesis to clearly state your topic and purpose. 3. Outline and organize your ideas before you write. 4. Most importantly, be specific. Use specific examples and details to illustrate your point. This is where you show your true understanding of the subject. Include at least two, but aim for three. Everything else is just filler and style. For style points: - Open with a direct to-the-point introduction, and finish with a strong conclusion - Practice words and phrases to create smooth transitions - Be concise, omit unnecessary words. - Vary your sentence structure, don't let it get monotonous. - Try reading the classic writer's handbook "The Elements of Style" by E.B. White (the same guy who wrote Charlotte's Web). Go into the exams with confidence. While studying, you can anticipate what types of questions and topics will be asked. Good luck!

I didn't have to wait long for those quick responses You guys rock. I think nervousness became an increasing part of it the longer I waited. But then again, I've been very focused on career and been neglecting my personal life. I don't even get to talk to my close friends every 2 weeks, and it took me a month to call my physical therapist for a follow up. I know, not being able to make time shows that I might be unreliable, especially when we don't know each other very well. I do tend to be aloof initially, but I'm actually extremely devoted once I make an emotional committment. It's funny. I'm aware of the whole "he's just not into you" theory. Which I think is nonsense, at least in my case. A lot of people seem to expect instant sparks, which may or may not be reasonable. I've always been emotionally guarded, so I like to take my time with relationships. Which also implies that I'm really looking to get to know a girl first, instead stringing them along hoping "get lucky". I'm not stressing that much about this girl yet. But I do feel that I should change my approach for when the perfect girl comes around (or if she turns out to be the perfect girl). Thanks again for the responses.

I'm one of those guys who takes forever to call a girl after a date. (Let the hatemail from women begin.) Honestly, I don't do it to "play head games" or to be mean. I just procrastinate with everything in my personal life outside of work. Two weeks ago, I had a 2nd date with a girl. Dinner and drinks went fine, but Part 3 got late and felt a little strained (although we had a great 1st date, lasted 8 hours!). We stopped at a bar in her neighborhood and she called her roommate to come hang out (bad sign, I know). At the end, she thanked me for the evening and I kissed her goodnight for the first time. Following our date, I knew she would be busy for awhile. She was out-of-town with her family for one week. And last week, she was moving back to campus to start school. That's why I finally called (2 weeks later ) after work on Friday. Left a voicemail but no response. I'm kinda new to the dating scene, and I rarely abide by any set of "rules". I call only to set up the next date, but I am always a gentleman in person. (She even told her roommate that, too). I know I'm complaining about waiting 2 days, when it took me 2 weeks. Does that make me a jerk? She's nice and I like her, but it won't break my heart if this is the end. Should I wait for her, call again, or accept the lesson and move on? Advice from both guys and girls are much appreciated.

Whoa there, just chill out for a sec. I know how it feels to have to deal with bullies and a-holes out there. I was a small and scrawny kid too. While it may seem that physical size and strength are all that matters when you're in school, don't get too discouraged. In the real world (outside of school), intelligence and street smarts are what matter most. To put it simplistically, once you leave school, getting a good job and making money are what defines status and dominance. Do you think Donald Trump or Bill Gates got where they are by fighting? Set goals for yourself and build confidence by developing your strengths. Another point: It sounds like violence (or avoiding of violence) is a major part of your life. That's not good. Find ways to avoid those situations. Hang out with different crowds. Talk to the counselor. Physical violence is always a last resort, and it can get you into a lot of trouble. I don't know what your situation is, but if it's your environment, neighborhood or friends, there's always a better way out.

Camaro, I know exactly where you're coming from. I'm 25, but I'm often mistaken for a college (or even high school) student. It's rough, especially in a professional setting trying to be taken seriously, or in a social scene trying to impress the ladies. I get the feeling Scout and TaRee are like the angel and devil on your shoulder, giving you opposing advice. They've both got their merits, but lemme offer a middle ground here. When people start making fun of you at a bar, don't get pissed off. You're a guy, you should know that we always try to make ourselves look good by downing on guys around us. Laugh with them, and hit 'em with a clever but stinging line (instead of a hostile insult). It'll be funny to others, and it'll definitely make you look good to the girls. Once, I ran into a guy from my high school class... all the beer and drugs have really taken their toll. The dude looked like he was 50! Just remember you'll be happy about looking young down the road.

I just turned 25 yesterday, and I didn't get to celebrate after work. The closest any of my old friends came to remembering was one guy who called to ask "Do you want me to throw a surprise party for you?" Who the heck does that!? Actually, my dilemma is bigger than a 1-day affair. Most of my college buddies were nice guys -- generally passive and indecisive. Nothing wrong with that, but because I was the strongest personality, I looked after everything and helped resolve social problems when they'd arise. I admit, I'm not always the nicest person, but I do pride myself on my integrity and being Mr. Dependable. Now for the girl: This girl and I share these same mutual friends. She's the one who caused me to join this forum two years ago. We've had a lot of issues since then, but we've apologized and made up in January. Things are still awkward, and it feels like my guys have chosen loyalty to her over me. Its hard enough to fix my friendship with her, without having the rest of the group to deal with. I've devoted so much of myself to my friends (the girl included), and can't help but feel unappreciated and somewhat betrayed. I guess I just haven't quite moved on from college. Maybe I need some new friends.

Never thought I'd be a homewrecker... especially when nothing happened between us. An old friend came up to visit last weekend. She had a wedding to attend in the city, and didn't know her way around, so I let her stay over. She had invited her boyfriend along, but he didn't want to come. They've had problems brewing already, but they broke up the day she returned home. Coincidence? I think not. We've known each other since childhood, and in recent years, we've talked to each other about relationship problems. She and her boyfriend argued pretty often... they had at least 3 breakups on my watch. Now they're at the standoff phase, where each one refuses to call the other first. I give all of my friends objective advice. I refuse to tell her what to do, because selfishly, I hope they'll reconcile, to wash my hands of any guilt. She wants to get back together with him, but says they've had so many problems, that it wouldn't be entirely devastating if it were really over. But still, she's pretty broken up about it. What would you do in my shoes? Thanks.

Hey, a fellow South Carolinian, cool! I've been in rehab for the past three months for repeated knee sprains. My symptoms were the same as y'alls. As a varsity athlete, you're probably in much better shape than I was, but your age concerns me.... You've had that since 7th grade, so its been about 4 years. My advice is not to worry about sitting a season and see an orthopedist if it's really bothering you. Its not worth damaging your knees if you're not relying on a soccer scholarship. I think some therapy would do you good, even if you just do it on your own. Stretching your hamstrings and isolated exercises on your calves and stabilizing muscles should help. (It's different from just working your quads on the machine). Good luck.

Elektra, Thanks for replying. It's always tough when parents and children switch roles as the years pass. Fortunately, I don't have to be financially responsible for them, since I'm just breaking even on my own. My mom's more of a "normal" age, so she still remembers how it is to be young. She tells my dad to lay off sometimes, but he's still got me on speed-dial. They're almost like the parents from Everybody Loves Raymond. Thanks again for the thoughtful advice. I hope all is well for you in 2006.

This site's grown since the last time I was here a year ago. With mostly adolescents posting about relationships, can any adults relate to my situation? I'm 24, and moved away from home since college. Back then my father would call too much... like those "helicopter parents" you hear about. He started a family later than most people, so he's past retirement age now. We'd used to argue constantly on the phone, yet he'd keep calling. Now that I've graduated, he continues to call and keep tabs on me almost daily. I've matured enough to stop arguing with him, but I can't help getting annoyed. I understand that he feels insecure at his age, and feels the need for constant reassurance. I love him, but he's so overbearing. I've talked to him before about it, but we can't relate because of the generation gap. How do other adults deal with their aging parents?

Hey man, Don't get down on yourself. I'm almost 24... I'm also a virgin, and never been in a relationship. I've got a few friends who're the same way. True, there's not too many like us, but there's nothing to be ashamed about. Everyone's got different experiences, different circumstances. Like these other guys are saying, don't lie about your history (or lack thereof). Don't make excuses either, it's just who you are. Be confident and comfortable first, other things will follow. Stay strong, bud.

This goes out to all, but I'm especially curious about the female perspective. I have a question regarding guys/girls who you think of as being "just friends." It seems the infamous "friend zone" is like the Bermuda Triangle. From what I've seen, it's near impossible to escape. Has anyone ever turned down a good friend, but have a change of heart later? What happened to turn things around? Also from the other perspective, has anyone ever gotten out of the "friend zone?"

Hi Hazlcha, Thanks for responding. A lot of people say that everything will be ok, but it's nice to hear it from someone who's been there before. Like you said "the works"... I wrote a song for her birthday last year, and spent hours agonizing at Hallmark trying to find the right card. Haha, pathetic, I know. Being apart the past year, I've casually dated other girls. That's helped keep things in perspective, but accepting that it's over is always painful. I'm sure there'll be other women, but I meant she was more like a kindred spirit. Our personalities complemented perfectly, and we share values in almost all aspects of life. We're also both asian, who are somewhat misfit in the asian community... a rare combination to find. I try to live life without regret, and almost never second guess myself, but it's tough with such a major decision. Especially when there are people who insist that acting like a "player" can win over any girl. If you don't mind sharing, how did things end up with the girl from your past? Did you stay friends with her? And is that friendship still fulfilling? Thanks for the advice and understanding words... I really appreciate it.

I'm 23 years old, and in love with a friend. Two years ago, we became good friends before I fell for her. She moved accross country, but we kept in touch. Now, she's back... only 3 hours away. Last week, she came to stay with me for a few days. I was in heaven, falling in love all over again. We shared a lot of laughs and deep conversations. However, there were times when she still acted disinterested (like sitting a seat apart on the subway). One night, after dinner, we chatted for three hours while sharing drinks at a jazz club. Coming home on the train that night, she fell asleep against my shoulder. Before we went to bed, she thanked me for showing her a wonderful night. Before she left the next day, I took her to the park. I told her how I felt, and said that I wanted us to take a chance and see if there was "something more." She started blushing and had an nervous smile. During the conversation she said: "I don't see us... I just think of us as friends. Plus, I'm not really looking for a relationship right now." "It's been so long since we've seen each other, this is so sudden." I told her it was okay, and that I understood. I predicted that it was inevitable that we'd drift apart as "just friends", but that she could always count on me in the future. We hugged and said goodbye on good terms. I love this woman immensely, so I hope she'll find happiness even if it's not with me. But, I know I'll never meet another like her. Did I ever have a chance, and if I did, did I shoot myself in the foot by being too forward? I think it's really over this time, but is there any hope left?