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gary1958

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  1. I wonder what happens when you throw a personality disorder into the mix. I have been No Contact for 14 months and the last 3 months she has made lame attempts to make contact. Now I have taken almost 2 years to get healthy again. I am comfortable in my own skin again. The confidence and self esteem is back. I have tried to reflect and learn my contribution to the demise of the relationship but honestly I don'e see much there. Could I have done more. Probably, but the problem was that nothing was ever enough and I was told that constantly. She has serious emotional issues and the relationship was very emotionally abusive. That being said, I believe everyone deserves a second chance providing the realize there issues and are willing to work on them. I told her in a letter immediately after the break up that I would support her 110% but this is her fight not mine. I would love to have been there emotionally more for her. But I cannot be a sponge that she sucks emotionally dry because she cannot fill her insides by herself. So I think sometimes one partner does play a much more significant role in the demise then they realize.
  2. My situation was that my girl who I was with for 2 years left me one night over some percieved slight. Flew out of my house in panic mode. A friend told me a week later that I stressed her out. Now this woman has been diagnosed with Panic/Anxiety disorder among other things. Had medication in her car glovebox she wouldn't take because she didn't like the side effects. But yet I stressed her out. Of course I did.... EVERYTHING DID!! But still I was blamed for 2 years for all the stress in her life. So I went no contact for 6 months and then after counselling and being on meds to try and get my self esteem and confidence back, flipped her a few emails telling her what she did to me and how I hope she gets the help she needs. Again no contact for 12 months on my part. She pops on Facebook to tear a strip off of me 8 months ago. Then I get an email from her 3 months ago which was automatically deleted as I had her blocked. Then 2 weeks ago I get an email from her at my place of work that was apparently supposed to go to someone else. Then 2 minutes later an oooops sorry wrong email address email from her. I've had hangups on my phone the last month. So Im not sure if these are lame attempts to contact me by her although I would love to know what was in the email she sent me that was deleted. I have been tempted to respond to her or make a lame attempt on my part to contact her. But I have stuck to no contact. I'm stronger now and could deal with most anything she sends my way but given the reason she ended it with me and blaming me for her issues well it will have to be her that makes contact with me. And for god sakes just pick up a phone instead of these games. She may just be afraid. Never the less. I went through hell and I will not bend as hard as it is. I do love her to death still but I will not change my plan. It has to be her that wants to change and if she does call it has to be her that wants it. I have moved on and have my life back but still miss her to death. I know she was "The One" But I cant fix her, she has to want to fix herself and if not. Oh well!
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