I wonder what happens when you throw a personality disorder into the mix. I have been No Contact for 14 months and the last 3 months she has made lame attempts to make contact. Now I have taken almost 2 years to get healthy again. I am comfortable in my own skin again. The confidence and self esteem is back. I have tried to reflect and learn my contribution to the demise of the relationship but honestly I don'e see much there. Could I have done more. Probably, but the problem was that nothing was ever enough and I was told that constantly. She has serious emotional issues and the relationship was very emotionally abusive. That being said, I believe everyone deserves a second chance providing the realize there issues and are willing to work on them. I told her in a letter immediately after the break up that I would support her 110% but this is her fight not mine. I would love to have been there emotionally more for her. But I cannot be a sponge that she sucks emotionally dry because she cannot fill her insides by herself. So I think sometimes one partner does play a much more significant role in the demise then they realize.