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penelope13

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penelope13 last won the day on September 21 2013

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  1. Did you ever consider/ get checked out if you might be suffering from cluster headaches rather than migraines, I was just thinking about it because of the one sidedness and the the pain in your sinus and around your eye?
  2. BG, one possible explanation of your dream: secretly (one one side) you still believe the way to get your ex back is by making him jealous, but you don't want to be the active force behind it, so you are hoping you run into your ex by chance (i.e. a place where you shouldn't expect to see him, when you are doing things that you usually don't do), and that your friends do all the 'dirty work' so to speak and inform him about the new guy in your life. - However the other part of your brain is starting to doubt if the jealousy approach would really work, so you walk away before you can see the outcome, since you won't to avoid hearing from him, that he might be jealous, but still not want to be with you. Walking away gives you the opportunity to hold on to the fantasy: see he is jealous and if I had stayed around, he would be with me. Only meant for food for thought
  3. Since you are not sure what you want and since you are still very vulnerable I would not give any explanation and just stick to the NC. It's hard not to pick up the phone and to delete text/ phone messages before listening to them, but it will hurt you less in the longterm. I find it quite unfair from an ex to give you 'updates' on her life without regards to what it is doing to you
  4. she probably has a case of 'having her cake and eat it too'. Let her wonder and worry about it. Not knowing will drive her more nuts than knowing that you have a new GF. Anger is a necessary step in the healing process. Be angry with her, but then use the energy that you get from this for more important things in your life: You and your new GF. I'm sure the new GF wouldn't be too pleased (apart from the fact that she doesn't deserve it) to know that you are still investing so much energy and thought into your past relationship.
  5. Although I understand the impulse of 'wanting to stick it to your ex", I don't think you will benefit from it at all. The one who will get hurt about this is you: do you seriously expect that upon hearing this news, she'll fall over and what you back, so that you can reject her now (i know it happens, but it is quite rare). It's much more likely that you are opening yourself up to as situation where she say/ does something that will hurt you even more.
  6. Brazilgirl, I know it is hard, but try to see this day as any other day. And anyway, this would not be your 3.5 year anniversary, because you had broken up with him for at least 6month, remember? - This just shows that in retrospect we tend to romanticize things more than is healthy for us. If he is traveling with this girl or not, doesn't make the fact that he is with her and not with you significantly different. So please try to stop telling yourself that tomorrow will be worse. You are the one who is making it worse for you than it has to be. You are in pain, understandably so, but don't allow yourself to overdramatize the situation
  7. Brazilgirl, I hope you will soon reach the point where you write: i AM doing NC for myself, instead of what you have typed. About the underlined part. There are only a few possibilities here. a) he really doesn't want to hear from you, but he still wants to be a hero in your eyes to boost his ego, so he offers to sacrifice his need for NC if you need rescuing b) he is totally oblivious that by offering to be there for you he is just making it more difficult for you to move on c) he is afraid of getting hurt, so he is going for the girl with less baggage while keeping his options open d) he does not have the courage to directly tell you that he wants you out of his life for now. I think it's quite pathetic, cruel, and selfish of people who have clearly decided to move on from one relationship to keep saying to the ex that they still have feelings. As long as they are not willing to act on those feelings, those feelings (if real) are better kept to themselves, because it will only confuse the ex and make them incapable of moving on
  8. To everyone who thinks their exes are sooo perfect if this is how you feel at the moment, use it to your own advantage - look at the things that you did wrong in the relationship and try to work on those issues. You and every person that you will ever date will profit from this. Because there will be a time in the future were this feeling most likely will turn into the opposite and you will start to see only fault in your exes and totally forget the part that you played, which will keep you from growing and healing (just look at all the posts here, how bitter some people are and how unwilling they are to admit that they were partially to blame as well). So good for all of you, who are thinking that your exes are so perfect, because it means you are claiming/admitting that it was all your own fault and doing that ended the relationship! - Now do something about that in order to avoid it in the future!
  9. just because you didn't act perfect doesn't make him perfect
  10. He lied, and he went back and forth between 2 women - totally perfect!
  11. it is his responsibility to talk to his gf, not yours. apart from that, you have to decide what you want from him in the long term. sometimes love doesn't seem to be enough. if you don't trust him about being faithful, would you really want to have a relationship with him again. his behavior doesn't really suggest that he has changed in this respect
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