kiwi24
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Today marks offically one month since he broke up with me...and today is again back to the end of day 1 of NC. Oh man I cried and cried today. But it passed. Sure I feel horrible but it'll be okay....I have to keep telling myself that. Found out 2 weeks ago he was cheating on me before with a girl 8 yrs younger then him and he and she swore nothing was going on. Then apparently yesterday this girl's OTHER boyfriend found out about this girl being with my ex and somehow I was blamed for it. She immed me on chat and I blocked her. My ex didn't stand up for me and I've had it... 2 year relationship went to the crapper all because ppl can't tell the truth or control themselves...they are both going to self-destructive because they have woven a NASTY triangle.... my ex, the girl he's messing with, and the girl's actual bf.... I wipe my hands clean...here's to Day 2 of NC!!!
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I broke NC again today....see my post...it's a long story and i feel as though i'm dying inside.
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End of day 6 with NC. It wasn't too bad today. Sure I thought of him gazillions of times through out the day but I didn't hurt much today...again its the emotional roller coaster because who knows i might be a wreck tomorrow.... So I hear from common friends that he has cut his normal routine with them also. That he doesnt see and talk to them as much as he used to. This to me is kind of weird. And now even moreso i'm convinced that there had to be more to it than just his parents that he broke up...there has to be... Anyways I've decided to study for the GMAT and LSATS both and see from there which school (Grad or Law) I want to go after....i guess this will keep me bsuy for the time being... Stay strong everyone!!! ---------------------------------------- "I need you, boo, I gotta see you, boo And the hearts all over the world tonight Said the hearts all over the world tonight"
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I'm back in town and it's the end of day 5 of NC for me. I really did enjoy myself with my friends but I kept thinking of him and what he was up to. He didn't send any Happy New Year's message or anything and neither did I. Now that i'm back I can't but horribly miss him. My friends were sleeping on the drive back while I was trying to hide my tears. I just don't understand.....I love him so much and maybe he just doesnt seem to care that he's hurting me like this? Infact, I really don't know much of what he is feeling... I was going through several common friends wedding pictures and I saw him there smiling, dancing, and enjoying himself....made me hurt even more. I feel like crap and not much more. But i'm sticking with the NC...
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I'm actually staying home tonight n watching a movie. Then tomorrow morning i'm leaving town for a couple of days. The guy I talked to is a sweeth heart and I will be meeting him also on Friday... You remember to stay strong too. We all deserve better....it's going to be a new year tomorrow. only you can make it a good and a much better year for you. just remember the negativity is out of your life. Don't let it back in! new year, new begininng...even if it is alone
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Its the end of day 2 for me and it was must easier for me today. I was so upset yesterday that all I could do was cry. But today I talked to good friends...n i talked to a new guy... but still I hurt for him so instead of calling him I washed my SUV...boy it took a long time. but literally washing all the dirt off felt like washing all the BS off me built up from my ex. I decided not to sit home and mope. My ex is going to bars and partying so I can enjoy myself too...I'm going out of town with a friend for a couple of days. IT's a nice get away... First new year's in two years I won't spend with him...oh well...his loss... Happy New Year's everyone!!
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i'd ignore her. I think she's at this point trying to get any sort of reaction out of you...
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If she is getting all dressed up then make sure you look good too! Don't show her she's in your head even though she is. You can enjoy life without her. DOn't make her a priority anymore. Your exams are your priority and I wish you luck with them! I know exactly what you are saying above! Up to the point I fell asleep I kept expecting him to call and to just have a heart. And now I am upset...upset because there must be something more to it than just the parents...there has to be otherwise he wouldnt quit talking just like that. Today I'm angry...i'm hurting...and i don't want to cry at work....i'm so upset that he cant be honest with me and at the same time I just want to know the truth. If you knew someone cared for you that much, wouldnt you even give em that respect to just be upfront and not play games. I'm so angry.....i want him to hurt like hes hurting me!!! I hate to think that way. I WON'T CALL HIM....I CAN'T...HE DOESNT DESERVE IT!! This is starting Day 1 again...
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Nope no call whatsoever....I actually was hoping he would. that he'd have enough respect for me to call me back....the person that loved him....he knew how much i loved him...sometimes he used to say "you dont love me anymore" just to get a reaction from me because that used to irritate me... Tomorrow is a BRAND new day. I'm not quite back to square one even though this has put me back but I will be ok....as the song goes "the sun will shine tomorrow...", unless its couldy and overcast like today ;-P I just need a hug.
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You should do NC for yourself and not for him. I know its very difficult since I broke it today but let me tell you its not worth it to break it because it will make you feel even worse. He was short with me and said he'd call me later...but its later and still no call. With NC every day your taking couple of steps forward but just one call/email will put u 5 steps back. I am again experiencing anger and depression because i actually felt happy i talked to him and that he would call me. But I'm not that fortunate. I brought this upon myself and so will you. Just hold strong....**hugs**
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it's GREAT to find someone who understand this "other" culture...i'm most definitely there for you!!! DAY 1 starts all over again tomorrow!
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I do love him a lot but literally how long can I wait...ultimately if he cant stand up for me then there is nothing to fight for. one day i was everything for him..supported him when he lost his job, when his dad developed cancer, when he was sick....etc...i dunno what more his parents want.... But if he can't stand up for me then there is no going back esp if he can cut me off so easily...and its hard because my family has started back up with the arranged stuff... fyi...my sister is getting married through a "love" relationship that happened to occur on facebook. I'm happy for her.
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yea thats what i thought also...my parents said as long as the guy loved me and was willing to protect me against his parents and stand up for me they would support me...ultimately we are adult enough to make our own decisions. his family thinks that a name and status define a person then they are more than welcome to go find it..but im afraid they will ruin him...his family do have their share of problems....but i accepted him for him and loved him to death.
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well actually me and my ex dated for 2 years. We had our share of problems and commitment issues but we sorted all that out. Ultimately the guys parents did not want him to marry me because i come from a culture of "arranged" or semi 'arranged" marriages. His parents said I had all the qualities that they wanted but the fact that they didnt choose me and i was born and raised here for most of my life. My ex tried convincing them and at the same time said that he would step forward by the end of decemeber if his parents didnt agree. i told him i cant make him make that choice but he needs to atleaast let me know if there was a chance of a break up and he said break up was not an option. Well his own self-imposed deadline came and called me out of the blue and said that we should just end the relationship because his family didnt agree...that they'd make life miserable for both of us and at the same time he'd b cut of from his entire family. He said he told me that we wouldnt break up cuz he thought he'd be able to convince them. Just 2 days before he took me to wedding photgoraphers so it came as a shock to me. For me i know his parents were just threatening him but would never cut off as he supports them financially and such.
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Actually, I posted this in another thread...post below. Nothing really happened. I thought i was doing good...but i just wanted to hear his voice....after we broke up he said he'd stay in touch. so the next day i had sent him a text message saying "hi" n he never responded back. from that day on I went NC and nor did he try to contact me. Post below.... OMG I did it and I can't believe it!!!! UGH.... I was going so strong being on my 9th day of NC. No more crying even though i had my depressive moments. I thought i was getting better. But I broke NC today and I really didn't have a pressing need. I called him at his work today around 11:30 and left a vm saying "hey it's me...jsut calling to see how you are.." Then it was 1 pm n I was obessing that he was sitting at his desk not picking up the phone either too busy or just ignoring me. So I called again around 1:15 pm. This time he picked up...General convo went like this. Me Him: Hey wat's up? Me: Nothing much, just got back from lunch. Him: oh **pause** Me i was just calling to say hey n how u doing. Him: oh ok...i'm doing ok...hey i'm running into a meeting right now...did you need anything? Me: Nope Him: oh ok...well i'll call you later today Me: okay be Him: bye Now I am obessing over the fact that is he going to call me later or really he was just lying and saying that like when we broke up he said hed keep in touch but didnt. **sigh** i love him so much n just want him back...n i was doing so good...dunno what happened.