electric_blue_lightening

hiya, some of you may have read my previous post, if not il quickly fill you in, il try not to write too much as i just need an answer from someone: Me n my bf have bin together 19 months (actually to the day) but we are on a break at the moment. have been for 2 weeks now, he said he wanted to stay in contact over this break because we are "still friends" . you see hes at uni, its his 2nd year now. its been hard being apart, even tho he came back evry weekend its still a long distance relaionship, and its so hard. so....... were on a break, to begin with i thought it was a good idea to give eachother some space, to realise how much we apreciate eachother. but after a week i had thhought so much and i knew i didnt wana loose him. so i rang him and cried down the phone, and told him that he had to decide weather he wanted to be with me or not. i deserve to know right? so anyway he said he wud ring me on sat night to sort things out. surprise surprise he didnt, so sunday i emailed him to tell him i had decided to give him some space and i also wasnt guna contact him cuz i didnt see how me contacting him was guna give him the space he needed. so now. its been a week since we have even talked, im so miserable, i dont know what to do with myself. the worst thing is not knowing, no knowing weather after all this time he is just going to turn around and say its over. i deserve better than that. so what should i do? break my "no contact" with him? demand an answer? i cant cope. please reply i need help.........

Hello evryone, its been a really long time since ive been here! i have my way of coping with problems in my life and it usualy resulted in me writing in my diary or coming here! for a while i havnt done either because everyting has been great, but over the last few months my relationship has fallen into a spot of bother and im running out of people to talk to, and my friends opinions, sometimes its easier to have someone who doesnt know either party to give their opinion, so here i am! I hope this isnt too long for anyone, i just feel i have to put down as much detail as possible so i can have someones honest opinions on my situation. well.... me and my boyfriend have been together 18 months now. we were friends before that for about 3 years and met through a local club we were both at. We were together for about 6 months before he moved away to go to uni, its about 60miles away from where i live with my parents. I was a bit scared to start with that he would meet someone else there and 4get about me. but he has come back evry weekend since he has been there to see me. which i am very grateful of. We are/were in love (il explain why i put it like that further down) Its really hard to explain all this so sum1 understands how im feeling, I am a very sensitive person, i always have been since i was a little baby! I have toughened up alot as ive got older, but i will always be sensitive, especially thoughtful of others feelings, and my emotions can go up and down quite a bit, i blame that bit on hormones. i cant hold a grudge or be in a mood with someone, or anything for more than 6 hours, and thats even if its something that has really cheesed me off, because firstly i dont see the point in being mad at someone, life is too short. and 2ndly i usualy end up 4getting why i was mad at them in the 1st place! so, me and my bf have been together 18 months (ish) and now i know from knowing him since we were like 12, that he likes to think he is very macho, he wont show his soft side in front of people, esp his mates and even his family! but i know he has a sensitive side because i have seen it, he has trouble showing his emotions but when were on our own he usualy opens up to me and he can be sweet tho he isnt really that type in general. He tells me he loves me, and i say the same and until recently i never doubted that. He is in his 2nd year of uni at the moment, in his first year i missed him so much, we spent most of the sumer prior to him going to uni with eachother, and spending lots of time together, it was great. we had so much fun, so when he went to uni i was lost without him, and he was lost without me, he told me so. he promiced me that the 2nd year he was going to stay at home because he could get the train evry day and spend more time with me, it what we both wanted. but then he turned round n said he couldnt stay at home the 2nd year because his lecturer advised he should stay in halls and have access to library etc. i was really hurt, he knew how hard the 1st year was for me and he knew the only thing keeping me going was the thought that it would only be for a year, or 9 months however long thre uni year is, and that he wud be all mine frm then on. but that wasnt to happen. after a few weeks i tried to understand his situation, and as he keeps sayin the whole reason he is at uni is to get a good job when hes finished so he can provide for OUR family. so i let him go. I was fed up of puting myself out for him, i fixed my work hours around him so i could see him evry weekend, and id lost quite alot of my friends because i didnt see them anymore, as i was working solid mon-fri to earn as much as possible and seeing bf sat/sun. so i made a pact with myself to stop missin him so much and to get on woth my own life, i had spent too much time waiting around for him (as in the sense of putting myself out for him etc) and i was going to spend more time with my friends. I have, since he has gone back to uni the 2nd year, bin alot better, i accept that he has friends there and i have friends here. i felt alot better about things, i had quite a bad patch last year because i felt my life was going nowhere and i was stuck in a dead end job where i was only working to pass the time that i couldnt be with him. So, im sorry this is long, but to the point, I feel recently that he doesnt seem to care about me as much as he used to, he has stopped showing his feelings for me as much, we dont have sex very often anymore, thats mainly my fault becasue i pick up water infections quite easily (cystalis), and they can be caused by sex and are very painful, so i was always a bit wary of having sex because i didfnt want to get anuther one! and then i stopeed being scared and have just totaly lost my libido, i get horney like one evry too months and want sex, sex, sex! and then nothing for months. I am quite a shallow person really, thought i dont like to admit it much, and my bf used to be really fit, very slim, 6-pack, very very cute bum, n just all-round sexy! but since he has been at uni he has put on a bit of weight. and i think its cute, but its not sexy at all, and i think this may be one of the reasons i have lost my libido, He turned me on all the time before becasue of how he luked last week we had a bit of an argument over the phone because i said i feel more like friends than lovers, we do love eachother, but im doubting now weather we are still "in love" with eachother, so we had a big discussion online and i told him how i felt, he agrees that its maybe becasue we arnt having sex as much as hes already puttin the effort in to make himself fit agen as he doesnt feel sexy himself and he doesnt like it. so we were going to make up this weekend, we had rented dvds last wkend and id saved them to watch this wkend, we had planned a trip with two others and we had a good wkend planned! then as the last minute friday night (as i was working late night) he txt me and says he had decided to stay home this wkend. as it was, and i quote "the best weekend to do it," because i was working a 6hr shift at work sat, and he had to go home sunday night because hes taking his mate into hospital and stayin with him all mon (can i jus point out that 2 weeks ago i had to go into hopsital for a operation, (i had a small hernia) and maybe it wasnt that major but i had never been in hospital before, or had an anetheic, (cant spell it) and i was scared. but he went home and wouldnt stay with me! i understood at the time, but to find out he is taking his mate to hopsital and he couldnt even stay with me and im his gf! i was a bit narked off. I really thought after our talk online he was going to try a little harder to make me feel better about our relationship. so what should i do? he doenst seem to think htere is a problem with our relationship, and the little things he keeps doing just keep annoying me, we pick at eachother over little things, he says he still loves me and if i mention spliting up he says he doesnt want that and actually nearly cried last time i mentioned it, and he NEVER cried, so i know he doesnt wana split up and nor do i, but i think our relationship needs some work, and he doesnt seem to think it does. what should i do? I ask him sometimes to txt me or ring me and let me know when hes got in from a night out, i worry about him sumtimes becasue the area he is in can ba a bit rough sumtimes, and i dont want him to get hurt, i worry like anyone else would about someone they love, and he cant even be bothered to let me know where he is when i ask him. there are other things that upset me about things he does, but i cnt go on forever, whats your opinion, thankyou all opinions welcome. x

Hiya, I have just read ur post, and im going to give you my honest opinion. you realise you made a mistake in the past, but you are what 18? you have years and years ahead of you! forget about her, in that way, your mates fair do's, but thats it. im sure if you think deep down, you may feel like you pinning for your 1st love, and of course it was special, no matter how bad things end or go, your 1st love always stays in your mind and is an important point in the history of you! what makes you you etc. But it is only because she was the 1st girl who meant something to you that you want her back again because you have history, no matter how long ago or for what time period you do. 14 is quite a young age to say yo uare in love, and to me i find it to early, but im not gonna say impossible because some people are lucky enought to find sum1 that young in their life. I unerstand how you may compare things your 1st love said and did to those of your current love, but come on, you say you love your current love, so 4get about that other girl, in time these flashbacks will go. you will realise you were daft for thinking you wanted her back. you will prob always have some sort of feelings for her. but you have a new life now. a new girl. and you need to make sure you give her attnetion and not end up doing the same thing as you did with the 1st girl or it could all end up being one bin roundabout! remember "dont cry because its over, smile because it happened" Dont live for the past, live for the future, hope my opinion has helped you! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

thank you .... i think thats what my mind was saying anyway, and i am aware of being hurt by sam, if he is only missing the sex, but he assures me he isnt missing just the sex, he misses me, and he has realised that im the right girl for him, and if theres anyone he wants to commit to, its me, we have got a history already so i do think it will work, im goin over to his to talk one day next week and were guna have a serious chat about "us" thank you agen, and if anyone else has any other opinions! let me know!

hiya, i really need peoples opinions, as many as possible! i dont need opinions of what you think of me if you dont mind, because some people may not like what they hear but please just tell me what you would do if you were in my situation! you see im in a very big dilema and i havent a clue what to do! there is this lad, (i will call him sam for the sake of keeping identity hidden!) well me and sam have been really good friends for the last 2 years, and i have always felt something towards him, we went out for a while and we have sleot together quite alot, ita amazing sex and we both love it, but it was kind of a secret casual thing because we didnt want to commit be cause im 17 and hes 18. (dont know what tha ages have to do with it!) basically we didnt want to go out because it was fun to sneak around n kiss in secret and then when we were together with our mates no-one would have a clue! and we cud just smile at eachother, anyway we liked it that way, i was secretly hoping he would want more than just sex and the odd day of affection when we got the chance, but irt didnt seem possible. Any way, last time we slept together was 6 weeks ago now, we both agreed at any time if one of us met someone else we could see them and we would stop sleeping together, which we did when i met frank. Frank is part of my crowd at college and so hes around all the time so i can see him when i like and he lives alot nearer that sam! we have been together a month now and i do really like him, he is so sweet, but i still have feelings for sam. i always have, we have been through alot together and we are still good mates, SO after a month of goin out with frank, sam txts me and we get chatting and he admits he misses me, and i say i miss him too, (i dont wana go into too muich detail so il skip to my point) Sam likes me alot, he misses me loads, and he says he wants a proper relationship, no more sneaking around and no more lying, he wants me! so what do i do? hes the lad of my dreams! i like him so so much, more than frank my current bf! so what do i do????????? please let me know what you would do if you were in my position? would you leave frank to be with sam, the one person you have always wanted to be with? thing is because frank is in my crowd at sch i dont want my mates to hate me for hurting frank! its not fair! i know i want t be with sam, but how? what do i say? what do i do? frank is really sensitive and i dont know what to do!!! i know i shudnt stay with frank if feel something for someone else......... but i do like frank loads to! PLEASE................ help me.........

hiya, posted a post about a week ago, and had some great replys! i really wana try and get a model agencys attention, but ive got 2 problems with the great advice you gave me! 1. in a UK resident and where u sed to go is american! and 2. i cant afford to pay anything really, is there anywhere i can give them my pictures free of charge????? let me no please!!! thank you!

thank you for your great advice, one other thing im only 17 and most modeling agencys you have to be 18 to sign up for, though i am 18 in a few months ands could wait, another thing - in a UK resident, is this a problem?? let me no im glad of your help!

hiya! my mates have always said i shud be a model, i like the idea, but never had enough confidence to do anything about it! ive recently had some profesional photographs taken and im wouldlike to give them to model agencys but ive looked online and evrywhere u have to pay like £200 or more to every company to give them your pictures i cant afford that at the moment, but i want people to see my pictures! so im displaying them evrywhere in the hope il get noticed, but i dont know if that will work! please if any one is out there who could help me get started! let me no please! heres the link to my photos! thankyou! any comments and help much apreciated!!

it all depends on the height difference between you two! when ive had sex in a shower my partner is like just taller than me by about 2-3 inches. in a shower there is usually a ledge around the base to stop the water escaping, try getting the girl to put on foot on that or one foot on the ledge on opposite sides of the shower, if you have had sex standing upo before just do it like that, but sometimes it helps if the girl is on a slight slope, hope this helps!! (its amazing btw!!)

sex and making love can be the same thing if with a person you love you cant make love without having sex, but you can have sex without "making love" thats the best way i can put it! sex is just sex and more of a physical thing, you dont have to be goin out with someone to have sex, but you tend to only make love when your with a partner you love! well there ya go....

i know there are already lots of posts on this question, but i wanted to contribute my opinion too! I hd the most amazing sex yeaturday, and my parter isnt huge! and it was still amazing, i love him the size he is, my ex was 2 big for my and i cudnt have sex for too long because it started to hurt me! but my current partner is just the right size, but it is definitely what you do with it not how big you are! just to final the quesiton!

im having sex, and me and my partner dont use a condom because im on the pill. hes only slept with one other girl, and ive only slept with one other boy, and both times we used condoms, so im not wurried hes caught something off his past ex because i know he hasnt. but recently at sch we watched this program on STDs and i got a bit confused, i heard something about u can be born with and STD or the genes for it and have it and not actually know about it! is that true? could my partner have something and neither of us know about it? help! i dont want to start using condoms because its better without and we trust eachother not to do anything silly like sleep around! please reply soon! thank you!

firstly what it the cervix? i think i know, but i just want to be sure. and secondly, i saw someone say its not healthy to push to hard on that, ive just had sex and ive got stomach ache now, why is that? please help asap!

why is it unhealthy to touch the cervix? is that the narrow wall where the lads penis wont fit but sperm will? let me no im confused!

help im doing the same thing! what do we do? i duno why i do it, its because i want to make sure my next relationship is the best and perfect so all im doin is testing the water, but though no-ones told me im doing it i know im doin the same thing as u say u are 2! what do i do? whud i continue? is it ok? help!