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Keyman

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Keyman last won the day on September 21 2012

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About Keyman

  • Birthday 11/17/1971

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  1. My purpose in posting was to find the means to begin taking care of myself again after this, in a positive and healthy manner and to move forward. That was my first focus. I wish her all the love in the future, and just want her to be happy and move forward in her life. If I’ve helped to push it forward then that is a good thing, and I feel grateful for our time. And yes, they indeed may reconnect, at least I’ve shown her what she may have been missing. It’s up to her now. I’m just happy that she is happier and given her something to work with. Maybe there’ll be a future for us, maybe there won’t. I cannot let it be a focus for me. I go to Morocco in 2 days to continue my travels and to begin afresh.
  2. By talking, I mean with others, not the person in question. She’s at the beginning of a divorce and lives in the total other side of the world. The relationship has been of intensity and passion. But we both feel there is something deeper. We’ve talked about how it would be different in the future and how that would work. If that could happen it would be fine. right now I’m looking to find ways to let the passion in my heart go, so I can move on.
  3. 20 something years on eNotAlone. Just come off 10 years self imposed celibacy. Walked the Camino De Santiago in Spain over 34 days. On day 2 met a woman from a different background. I allowed myself to fall for her and we entered a relationship knowing that it would end once the Camino finished. We connected, we loved hard. It grew in passion and strength day by day even as we neared the end. We did not care, we just let it grow right to the end. She extended her trip to delay the end and our love grew more. Yesterday was day 1 of our parting. It’s a break up of sorts. We parted because we had to, not because we wanted to. There could be a future, but that would be years away. We both want it, but will the feelings last, ever burning in the background while she deals with her situation outside of us, and begins to grow in herself? Does talking about it let it go in the mind or does it bring it more front and centre? Is it best to find as many distractions , and let the memory of it slip away?
  4. How is this guy perfect after only 2 months? It sounds like he is playing with you as a rebound girl, making jokes about other women, and telling you he cheated on his wife to keep you at a distance. Go find someone nicer as this bad boy, not matter how much he turns you on, will just hurt you.
  5. Stop asking everyone in the world what you should do in this situation and just make a decision. If you like him and want to see him again, ask him out, if you don't want to see him again, don't ask him out. As for the fact that it's to a wedding, who cares. If anyone asks, your just friends. Go, have fun, and learn to make your own decisions without the concensus of random people on the internet.
  6. Why are you so desperate to remain friends with him? You were never satisfied by him in the relationship, so you want to bring it back to a friendship and just keep the bits that worked well for you while you head off out to find the good bits from someone else? Perhaps he was satisfied in the relationship, but would now have to be just friends with you without it, and he is not satisfied by that. Initially, while he was going through the pain of the breakup, remaining friends seemed like a good idea as it lessened the pain, but after a while he just shut the door on the relationship and has moved on. I think this is something that you should be doing too. Never try to hold onto a partner once the relationship has finished, it will hold you both back. He's let go and is getting on with his life, but 6 months along, you are still stuck on the whole thing. Maybe it's time for you to let go and move on too. Maybe one day years from now your paths will cross and you can be friends, maybe. Until then, take the gifts you received from him and move on.
  7. I think you're at about the point where you need to work on closing the door completely. The idea of friends is a foot still in the door holding it and your feelings, and this is stopping you from fully moving on. That should be the goal here. You've deep dived into yourself, have reflected a plenty, but you are still holding on for something from her, and it's not helping your healing. Work to pull that foot out of the door, let her go completely, try to focus on moving forward instead of hanging onto the past, and close that door.
  8. Hey Chubby, You are just beginning through the emotional process that is a break up. You are in denial at the moment. Not so much denying it happened, by denying yourself the right to mourn, denying that you had a good reason to do what you did. Breaking up can often hurt the breaker more than the breakee. It's the disconnecting from the person you were with that is the hardest - you'll miss them. RIght now, you need to fill the gap that person has left with yourself as best as you can. Get into your hobbies, take up the gym, hiking, boxing - anything that can get your mind off what you are going through. Don't think about finding someone else to fill the gap, that is just opening yourself up to misery. Close all doors on her. Watching from the sideline of social media is just going to tear you up more. Many women can use attention to help them through breakups, as they get far more attention than most guys, so seeing some guy even slightly flirting on instapram is gonna hurt. And forget the friendship thing, it's holding you back from moving on as it is more a thinly veiled thread that keeps you connected, when the best thing right now is to be disconnected. The vast majority of people in the world have gone through a breakup and have gotten over it, and you will too.
  9. You treat her like some special pedestal bound princess, and she treats you like her pet dog. Honestly, the sex can't be that good unless you enjoy being treated like this on a regular basis. She's gaslighting you into thinking that you are the one in the wrong, and giving you a couple of days to think about what you've done wrong. No doubt she will then come back, suck you back in so she can get her narsisitic supply and have you grovelling at her feet again to make her feel special. Don't take these couple of days for her to rethink this relationship, let her know right now that you are done and move on.
  10. You are young and virile, and don't fully understand yourself. Our society often pushes that being in a relationship is the best way to win at life and to have a happy life, so we often, myself included in my younger days, throw ourselves into relationship after relationship to fill the gap with someone in hope of achieving that happiness. The thing is, you need to be filling that gap with yourself. Building your own healthy self esteem without the need for someone else to do that. THEN, once you are whole, find someone to ADD to your life not become it. Get out there, get some hobbies, buff up at the gym, get a good shine on about yourself, get your career blossoming. That doesn't mean you can't have flings to sate your need for sexual gymnastics, but don't get attached until you are ready. And to be honest, the girls are likely in the same boat as it is easier for them to jump from relationship to relationship without healing and getting to know themselves without someone else.
  11. Silence Is a thing not spoken Is a word not said And a thought not taken Peace Is the sound between hearts Is a lack of fighting And a love that lasts Time Is the ticking of moments Is the measure of history And the passing of life Calm Is a serene glowing thought Is a breath of fresh air And loves joyous embrace The calm flows through us As time ticks on above In peace and harmony we thrive In silence we sleep in our love
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