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hodgo

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About hodgo

  • Birthday 03/14/1991

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  1. wow thanks for the responses guys i only just put it up! yeah i did write it myself. and it is actually for a specific someone so i guess thats why it was ..not easy to write but why it came out so well i think. there's a long story behind it. take a look if u want at 250104[/url] thanks again.
  2. You are the reason for every beat of my heart I will love you forever You are the reason for my every breath The first time we kissed swept me off my feet You are the reason for my every thought Reminiscing on our memories You are the reason for my every smile When you told me after every phone call that you loved me You are the reason for my every dream The thought of you drives me wild You are never far away I can just look up and see your eyes in the stars You are the inspiration for everything I write I cannot imagine a life without you You are the reason why I'm waiting Because I know that you are worth every agonising minute You are the reason for my every tear I regret hurting you so You are the reason I hold on Because you are the most amazing person I will ever know.
  3. dont think its in vain! she'll come right when u totally werent expecting it!
  4. im not a poet but i just had to get it out if you know what i mean??? Baby we are so far apart And though we’re not together You’re the only one in my heart. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you Held you and could smell your familiar air. We are so young and what we have is so pure This distance is just unfair. To be so long without you This is the ultimate test. Forever I will be loyal, No matter what I must resist. You may think I’m tough, That I can endure this uncertainty, this loneliness but the truth is I’m in agony and times are getting rough. I would cross every desert barefoot if I had to, I would swim every ocean between us, If it meant I could be with you forever Then there is nothing I wouldn’t do. Please come home to me So I can hold you again See your eyes again Even if it’s the last thing I do.
  5. how can u not take that as a compliment? i love it and it turns me on more.
  6. I remember that you came to all of my basketball games; you would cheer me on and tell me I played well even when I didn’t. Afterwards you would buy me a Chupa Chup to let me know you loved me. I remember at school when we would have to sit on separate tables, you would sit and stare at me from accross the room, nothing would distract you. I would stare back into your beautiful blue eyes and we would be lost in a world together I remember the smile you gave me, that day when we were looking at the maps in class, that told me I was in love with you. I remember sneaking into the classroom early on Monday mornings and swapping the name tags around so that I would be sitting with you. I remember the red hat you wore constantly. I remember how you asked me out in the most un-romantic place in all of Victoria, Castlemaine Gaol. But at the same time I love that because it will never happen to me again. I remember writing you a letter not long after we started going out. I asked what it was that you liked about me. You wrote back the next day, in it you said the most wonderful things about me. That’s when I knew that you were a keeper. You wrote, ‘your eyes shine like the brightest star in the sky. Your whole face is the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. Your personality is the sweetest I’ve ever encountered. Your everything I’ve ever wished for and so much more. Words can’t explain the way I feel for you.’ I didn’t even know what encountered meant back then! I remember the poetry you wrote for me. You were an amazing writer. No 11 year old should be able to write that well. I remember the feelings those words would give me, and how my friends got jealous every time you gave me one. When I read them now I am still swept off my feet. I remember the look on your face when you found out that Jack had asked me out for you. You were sitting on the edge of the bed, you looked terrified and then you asked and I could hardly stop smiling to tell you yes! I remember the gifts you would get me for no particular reason. The ring, the butterfly bracelet, the sweets. I remember that day in summer when you, me and both our mums went down the beach. It was a bit of a bonding session for those two. We snuck round the back of the beach boxes for the shade of course! Lol. We just talked for ages about random things. I remember the bet we made with Jack that we would still be together by the time we got to university. It was like 10 grand or something! Lol. I remember sneaking off with you at the Dromana Carols by candlelight night. We sat together on the steps near the science wing in the darkness. I remember that you stayed at mine that night after the carols. Pretty unforgettable I remember that you would find somewhere private to tell me at the end of every phone call that you loved me. I remember going to the Blue Light disco with you, and dancing with you. I remember once at the Blue Light disco we were dancing together and some little kid came up and said ‘isnt he a bit short for you?’ I gave her the biggest greasy and said ‘No’ and tried to make her feel like an idiot. Lol. I remember our first kiss. I was so nervous! We hung around after school. Jack was there. Jack was always there. He was meant to be our lookout but he didn’t do a very good job, we got caught by a teacher so he ran off. We were left alone. I had to bend down to kiss you. Then it happened. For something we were so nervous about it was so small and brief. When we left school I saw your Mum waiting for you. She gave me a small smile –as though she knew. I remember how you could remember the first song we danced to. I can remember dancing but I couldn’t remember the name of the song but guess what! Now I do. It was ‘It’s not easy’ by Five for Fighting. I remember our first date, to see Bend it like Beckham. I can even remember what I wore! I can also remember that the movie guy commented on how polite you were. I remember the game we invented, pretty similar to keepings off, that we would play pretty much every day on the oval. And how whenever my team couldn’t get the ball I would just have to kiss you to get it off you. Lol. I remember one day we were sitting on the ramp on the side of the gym with friends and Jack asked you if you would marry me. You said you would. I remember in class our table won the etiquette competition because you knew how to hold the knife and fork properly. I remember on rainy days in winter we would have ‘wet day timetable’ where we would just stay inside and play Uno or truth or dare in front of the heater. I remember the year 6 show. And how you played Michael Jackson, haha in Stevo’s little sister’s leather pants. HA! That still cracks me up. I remember in class we would write little notes, poems and love letters to each other all the time. I also remember when we got caught by Mr Trueman. I remember that day in the caravan, watching the year 6 show, there was some serious leg action going on there. Lol. I remember how you taught me how to do the moonwalk. Lol. I remember how much it hurt me to break your heart. I remember how it hurt you more. I remember the day after I broke up with you sitting in the car while mum went to buy something from the supermarket and breaking down into tears. I was so terrified that I would lose my friendship with you, which was the last thing in the world I wanted because you still meant the world to me. I remember how I was scared that we would not be friends. You were and still are the best person I have ever known. I remember how you would still call me every week. I remember how I got another boyfriend, compared him to you. He didn’t compare. Then all those feelings you gave me came crashing back again. I remember how we were both in the laptop class at our separate high schools so we would email each other constantly. I remember that I would try to bring you up in conversation with my friends just so I could talk about you. I still do it. I can’t help it. I remember the day you told me you were moving. I think I died that day. I remember how much it hurt to see you go. I was so scared you would forget me, replace me. I wondered if I would ever talk to you again. Why did you have to move to Canada?? Your parents promised me you wouldn’t move again. This time it wasn’t just interstate but the other side of the world!!! I remember the day you left, it was December 5th 2004. I so badly wanted to go to the airport with you, I even had a day off school on that same day but no one would take me to the airport. Instead I slept all day, tears streaming down my face. I remember all the conversations we had online. The survey thing, if it wasn’t for what I found out that day I don’t think I could ever have gotten up the courage to go to you. I remember how we would tease each other, pretend we didn’t feel for each other and dream about the day we would see each other again. I remember when you told me that if you joined the military or went to Uni next year we wouldn’t see each other for at least 8 years! That was a horrible thought, a thought that I simply could not bear. Not when all these feelings and thoughts I was having consumed me. I remember at the beginning of this crazy year confessing to my dearest friend Johanna all these feelings I had for you that I had hidden for so long. I had to tell someone so I could empty my head and my heart just a little bit – to make it bearable. I showed her the poems and love letters, I told her everything. And I told her that I had to see you this year. She has been amazing to me and supported everything I have done. I remember talking about the possibility of going to Canada with Mum. She was actually encouraging which surprised me. Then we talked about when would be best to go. She thought I should go at the end of the year when I’d finished school so I could stay longer – I couldn’t wait that long!! And I’m so glad I didn’t. It is November now and there is no way I could have made it here without knowing what I now know. I remember being deliriously happy when I could finally tell Johanna that I was going, for sure, on the 24th June. I remember when you asked me to be your date to graduation, you still sounded a bit shy in asking when der! Of course I would! I remember counting down the weeks till we saw each other again with you. I remember planning all the things we could do while I was there! I remember the excitement I could not contain the night before my flight. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t concentrate, I could hardly eat or speak! I remember the fear and utter apprehension I felt clashing with the excitement inside me on the flight. I was so scared I could not sleep. 18 hour flight and I couldn’t not sleep to save myself! I was terrified. I remember practicing to myself the way I would tell you that I still loved you. I was so scared. I didn’t know when to do it, how to do it let alone how to bring up the subject! I was just praying for the right moment to present itself. I remember thinking as soon as the Sydney – Vancouver flight took off, ‘holy * * * * there’s no going back now’ and ‘what the bloody hell am I doing?!’. I really cannot convey honestly enough how terrified I was. I remember the moment I saw you again, coming down the stairs as I walked in the door. It was as if I was whole again. Just the sight of you made me whole. I remember when I had just arrived and I was sitting on the couch with your whole family and the truth suddenly came crashing down on me again. I still had to figure out a way to tell you how I felt, and I had to do it soon. I remember the first party you took me to. You taught me how to play quarters. Lol. We flirted alot, it was awesome. I met all your friends, they were so excited to meet me, I wondered what you had told them about me. Then in the taxi cab on the way home you held my hand. I was so stoked! Lol. I remember when we got home you still had my hand and took me down stairs to your room. We jumped on Emma, the poor girl, while she was sleeping. Then you got up and slipped into bed. I waited a moment trying to decide what to do. In the dark I got up, crawled up the bed to you and kissed you like my life depended on it. It was bliss. I remember thinking in that moment how friggin stoked I was that you were kissing me, I was not prepared for what came next. I remember you asked if I wanted to go all the way with you. You were such a gentleman about it, making damn sure that I definitely wasn’t going to regret it afterwards. Sam, I don’t think you could possibly quite know just how much I wanted this; I was completely unprepared for it. I was ecstatic that you kissed me back, let alone wanted to go further. Lol. But before we did I had to tell you the truth, I had to tell you the reason why I came all this way. Just incase. I remember feeling your smile in the darkness when the perfect moment presented itself and I told you I still loved you. It was surprisingly easy cos it was so natural. I remember that moment, the best moment of my life when you told me you wanted to grow old with me. I couldn’t believe what I thought I heard you say. There’s nothing I could possibly want more than to spend the rest of my life with you, to grow old with you. I remember rocking out to the new Coldplay album in Big Red on our road trips. I remember sitting in the computer chair, showing you my favourite song, the song that inspired me to go to you. ‘Moment of truth’ by FM Static. You were standing behind me running your fingers through my hair. As it played I leant back in the chair and smiled at you. Then you kissed me – spiderman style- while my favourite song played. It was bliss. I remember each time you kissed me gently on the neck, oh it feels so good. It’s my weakness. I remember watching the sunset go down behind the rocky mountains with you while we drove home. I remember slow dancing with you at your graduation to Lifehouses ‘you and me’. It was your favourite moment. There’s nothing I wouldn’t give to live that again with you. I remember talking with you about the past, the present, our future. All the things we could be. I remember dancing with you at gringos, lol, it was hot. I remember how without even trying you made me feel so gorgeous. I’ve never been as comfortable as I am with you. I remember how even though I got sick and snotty and gross you still wanted to kiss me. I remember how you would hold my hand while we drove. I remember that in the softest most heartfelt moment of a completely un-romantic action movie you still squeezed my hand to let me know you were thinking of me. I remember the absolute bliss of falling asleep, lying in your arms. I remember lying in your arms, staring into your eyes in the king size bed in whitefish and running my fingers through your hair. I remember one morning in Whitefish, we were in bed, I was still asleep and you had the telly on low. Coldplay’s latest song came on and you knew I couldn’t wait to hear it so you woke me gently so I could hear it. It was Violet Hill. I laid there in your arms listening to it, that is one of my favourite moments. I remember when your family went out for dinner one night and we were bumming round watching 300 cos we were exhausted. My mum called, I was sitting up on your bed talking to her and as soon as your family went out the door, you started kissing me all over. My stomach, legs, breasts, neck, cheeks, ears... while I was talking to mum! It was extremely hard to concentrate and listen to what she was saying! I tried so hard not to giggle and give away what was happening! But it felt so damn good! I remember how you held my hand all the way through west Edmonton mall. I remember the mansion we picked out and jokingly decided we’d live there one day on Whitefish Lake. I remember the look on your face whenever you leaned in to kiss me. I remember making love to you every single day and night, to show you I am devoted to you but 17 days isn’t nearly enough. I remember talking about the future, living in Switzerland or Dubai! I remember your smell, so familiar and gentle. It makes me feel warm. I remember watching daggy disney movies and pigging out on pizza and lollies I can’t get in Australia with you on the couch in Calgary. I remember the dread of having to go home, to leave you again, not knowing when I will see you again. I remember the look in your eyes as I went through the airport gate. I remember the tenderness of our last hug, our last kiss, our last touch. I remember how I couldn’t bear to look at you again when I was on the other side of the gate. I remember crying as I sat in the chair waiting for my flight home, grateful for everything that had happened but not knowing when I would see you again. I remember the moment the horrible sinking feeling came upon me, the terror of losing you to something beyond our control. I remember how the guy at Starbucks gave me a large hot chocolate when I asked for a small because he could see I had been crying. I remember that you felt like a dream. And that it is so hard to believe that you and everything that happened was real. With you reality was finally better than my dreams. But now...now I’m here and you’re there and I never thought it would hurt this much. I can’t wait to be with you again, my heart aches from trying to make you appear. I pray that we will be together soon to make thousands of new memories.
  7. its incredible! you are amazing, i so wish i could write like that. you make it look so easy!
  8. i can so relate to this. i actually just did my year 12 english exam this morning. came on here to chill a bit.
  9. i love this so simple and short but so powerful and u could have pullled that straight out of my heart. i have this feeling but i hold back saying what i want to because experience has taught me that things can go shockingly and tragically wrong and i dont want to lose not the thing i have but the thing i could have in the future with him. so precious.
  10. oh! i just read it again and it sent chills through me. i really love it. beautiful.
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