mazdagirl

GOOD LUCK!! it'll all work out for the best, i'm sure.

hun, you didn't need to come to this site to hear these answers because you already know these answers yourself. i think perhaps you were hoping to hear something different than what you know in your heart to be true? your gut instinct is a gift from god, please don't ignore it. it's yelling at you, pleading with you to RUN from this older man who is messing with your beautiful mind. your heart doesn't want to listen, but i'm telling you to pay very close attention to your instincts. don't listen to the part of yourself that says "but this" or "but that". there's a voice inside of you that's insisting you find help not from a man but from a therapist. that voice is saying YOU are the only person who can make you happy and that YOU are more important than any guy. i know it would be nice to change this man's mind, to make him love you. it would feel good. however, it wouldn't feel as good as when you learn to love and respect yourself. that feeling is what you really want, it's what that voice inside of you is begging for. and to love yourself means to stop all contact with this man and seek refuge with family/friends/therapist. you can do it ... you will do it ... it's just a matter of when you truly want to feel fulfilled ... please keep us posted. i'll pray for you.

it's important to date someone who isn't your twin ... how boring would that be?! if your girl said yes to a date, then it's a good sign that your different interests are more of a turn on than a turn off. as for the date itself. be sure to call her in advance, whenever it was that you said you'd call. decide together which movie to see, but you pay!! very important to establish this night as your first date! as a man, you get to prove your interest to your lady by doin all the grunt work ... which is paying for the tickets and figuring out movie times. once you've snagged her (and i mean you two are going steady), you can relax. but for now, it's best foot forward! (while being yourself, of course) you've known her for awhile, so getting along shouldn't be too difficult ... going to the movies as a first date will be like hanging out with her at any other time except you're paying and doing what you can to SHOW her (not tell her) that you're interested in her. naturally, showing interest does not include going down on her in the theater (but i'm sure you know that). ;-) in fact, unless you guys are very close, i wouldn't even put your arm around her unless you're sure she wants you too. body language is key here: if she looks relaxed and content, this is a good sign. if she's got her arms and legs crossed and is leaning as far away from you as she can get then i would advise keeping paws off. this wouldn't mean she's not into you, but rather she needs more time to warm up to the idea that such a wonderful guy like yourself is interested in dating her. hope this essay helps some! and these are my opinions only, of course!

note the younger guys say call him and the older guys say not to! hahaha men who are actually interested in you pursue you ... the lazier less interested boys sit back and wait for action to come to them. you deserve better than a lazy boyfriend who plays games with your heart! have you heard of the book "he's just not that into you?" it's a little on the extreme, but it's a good read! never settle for less than what you deserve, hun! now, if he's been texting you on and off for a couple of days since you've been on the first date, that's ok. in fact, i might even grant that as thoughtful. but if it's been two weeks and he's still messin with you and hasn't called you for a second date, he's treating you like a cat plays with its mouse before suppertime. no matter what, it'll all pan out somehow. life is a learning curve, right? hell, i could be wrong, although i don't think so ...

the way you describe her, she seems like the person who is so flirtatious with everybody that you wouldn't know she liked you if she kissed you!

i think there's a reason why you feel this way. i mean, there's a reason for everything, right? i suppose what's important is to find out WHY so you can discern whether or not your concern is legit or if you're only feeling insecure. However, I would guess that you have a reason to be concerned simply because you ARE concerned. In my experience, a woman's gut feeling is incredibly powerful ... like a 6th sense. As for what you should do? That same gut feeling is telling what you ought to do, and whether you listen to your instincts is up to you. ...Disclaimer: I'm not a psychologist and this is only a layman's opinion!... Good luck!

one question: do you wear tampons? because if you never have ... it's gonna hurt!! my first time didn't hurt me because i had been wearing tampons for years (like the super kind lol). just be sure to ask your husband to go really really slowwwww....

how can one tell whether or not someone is high on pot? my friend is a user, but she's been using for awhile so i'm sure the differences between when she's high and not are subtle. i was just curious if anyone knows any small signs that might indicate whether or not a person is under the influence of weed. thanks for any advice!!

if my guy told me he'd call at 7:00 and it's now 7:40, would that be considered rude and/or flakish? if he calls should i ignore the phone? or is 40 minutes an okay grace period? thank you very much for your advice!!

amount of eye contact varies from person to person. in order to ease your anxiety about your own eye contact, notice the eye contact of the person you're talking with. do they look you in the eye the entire time or do they look away occasionally? try to mimick their patterns, while also observing their body language. people often feel most comfortable in the company of those who exist on a similar comfort level, and amount of eye contact is important to that level of comfort, but remember your own comfort is just as important as the comfort of the opposite party ... mimicking the other person's body language and eye contact may help you find your own comfort level, but it's only a suggestion to finding your solution; it's not a solution in and of itself.

ever since my boyfriend and i started going steady (it's been about a month), he's changed ... he doesn't shave as often (ouch!), he doesn't offer to pay for food and movies when we go out, he doesn't open the door for me ... he's basically stopped being the gentleman he was before i was his girlfriend. i know i'm griping, and perhaps it shouldn't bother me, but i was raised to appreciate traditional signs of courtesy. perhaps there's nothing i can do about it, and i'm certainly not going to break up with him because of this, but i was wondering if there is a way to encourage him to show me a little more idunno, care and respect (if that's what it's called) without chewing him out and breaking his ego (i'm guessing that would be a bad thing to do...) . also, we were supposed to spend the day together today, and he called while i was getting ready to tell me that some old friends dropped by to visit, and that maybe we'll hang out later. he didn't apologize for the late notice, nor did he ask me if i cared, he TOLD me he was hanging out with his friends and that i should call him later on this evening. he's a sweet guy otherwise, always asks how i'm feeling, compliments me, let's me choose what we do (ahem, what i'll be paying for...), but right now i'm feeling like chopped liver. i'm probably thinking about this too much. but could someone please give me some advice?? i really need some support, i'm feeling confused and insecure. thanks.