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starlette08

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About starlette08

  • Birthday 06/12/1985

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  1. day 13 this is great - i think im about 90% healed. I no longer get sad when i think of him. each day it gets easier and easier and i think of him less. i cant wait til i can get thru the whole day without thoughts of him at all. i no longer care about what he's doing, who he's with. and chances are, if he wants to be friends with me, im not so sure i even want to be friends with him. he treated the breakup badly, totally disrespecting me and friends dont do that to friends. anyways, going to spoil myself today with a massage and pedicure!
  2. Day 7 NC. i need to make this to the 30 day mark.
  3. hey messenger, i went thru the same thing this week - i thought i was recovering and doing fine and all of a sudden, the emotions came back. nothing really triggered it either, it was just all me. i broke down and cried a few times. im heading home this weekend so not sure what to expect. i told him i would be coming home and left the ball in his court. i have a feeling he's not going to contact me even though i come home only twice a year. it hurts..
  4. Gee, good for you for staying strong. Sometimes I feel as if NC is going against how our heart feels. I want to tell him that I miss him, and I want him to hold me right now - but I can't because I have to maintain self dignity. You're right - I wonder if the other person feels the same way. How can something that has been a part of you for so long NOT affect you. I thought I was doing ok for the last two months until it hit me yesterday that I'm really NOT fine. I tossed and turned all night, thinking about how good we used to be. We were perfect for eachother. This just really really hurts.
  5. 11 days NC. i broke the cycle a few times already. we've been broken up since january but i broke NC a few times. last time i texted him was 11 days ago. i thought i was doing ok until today, when i broke down. i just layed in my bed and cried. i couldnt sleep last night (and had an exam this morning) i dont know why but just as i thought i was over it, im back to square 1 again. does he feel the same too? how do u talk to someone everyday for 3 years and then all of a sudden stop? i don't know how he can cut me out of his life like this.
  6. really? thanks honeyspur - i feel great about what you said. i truly care about him and wish him the best. i hope he can see that.
  7. i broke NC because i sent him a text wishing him good luck at his interview. i konw he really wants this job and how much it means to him is that a bad thing? should i have not done that? of course he didnt even say thank you back or anything. i wasnt expecting anything. but still -- i guess i want to show him that i still care about him, even though we're not together.
  8. day 2 of NC (since i called him a few days ago) after talking to him on the phone, it made me realize how much i really DO love this guy. im not goign to contact him beacuse at this point - it hurts too much. everytime i talk to him, it will remind me of how much i miss and love him. i live in another country and will be home in 17 days. i know this isn't that far ahead, but im going to take this time to focus on myself - and only me. i have 5 exams between that time that im determined to ace them all. hopefully by the time i get home (and possibly meet up with him for the first time in three months) that i would have healed a bit.
  9. Gee, it was a great converstaion - just like old times. we caught up because we havent spoken in over a month. we laughed - joked. i finally had to ask him why he was doing this and how he could just cut me out of his life like that - he responded.. "its just for now". he said he's waiting for me to stop caring about him. Can someone tell me what that means? why would he want me to stop caring about him? i told him i could NEVEr stop caring about him
  10. oh no. i broke NC. we talked for about an hour on the phone. it felt really good - we just caught up on our lives since we havent talked in a month. is this a bad thing? am i going to feel horrible about it tmrw morning? i held back for so long but tonight, i felt like a bubble ready to burst.
  11. He won't talk to me, but he talks to my sister and best friend. both of them are in the same city. I moved out of the country for school so it's hard for us to just easily bump into eachother. Why is he still talking to the people close to me if he can't talk to me? He even has me blocked on MSN. I dont get it. Im just so confused right now that its nearly driving me crazy.
  12. i called him a few days post breakup. didnt answer. sent emails. no answer. waited a few weeks. sent some sad faces =(... nothing. then one day i called his house and his dad answered and gave him the phone. he totally wasnt expecting it to be me. we talked for about 10 minutes. i could tell by the sound of his voice that he was hurt. i almost wanted to cry on the phone. i just want him to be there so bad. i thougth that since we had talked on the phone finally, that things would be at least ok. turned out not to be the case. i was a wreck after because i realized how bad i really missed him. called him up again. never answered and thats when i left a msg on his phone crying. never heard from him since. its been a month. i know he's hurt. and so am i. so why are we doing this to eachother.
  13. It sucks because i know he's getting all these msgs from me showing him how I feel.. and how can he just sit there and read it with no heart and no feelings! We've been through so much together, and I called him one day crying on his voicemail and nothing! he didnt even budge!
  14. you guys are so lucky to know that your ex will respond to you. ive texted my ex several times at the beginning with sad faces, and i miss you.. and please talk to me.. and i've gotten nothing back............ and it's been two months. i've even tried emailing and calling - yet nothing. i can't even explain to you how much this hurts. he told my friend he gets sad when he sees my msgs, so why can't he just respond. how can he have SOO much self control? how do you go from talking to your best friend every single day to not talking at ALL? how can he do this to me? it's tearing me up inside. i would DIE for him to say ONE thing to me right now.
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