Pitbow

Hi There! I think your curiosity is great, but want to give you some warnings. I have been a lesbian since I was 10....knew about it at least, just didn't know what to do about it till in my teens. Starting from where you are, in a marriage to a man, don't expect the lesbian community to embrace you with open arms. I'm not saying this to be mean to you, just to let you know the reality of it...and why. Mostly lesbians are suspicious of what they view as "hetero" women coming in and wanting to experiment with their sexuality. Its a pretty touchy topic. I have been personally touched by this when I was involved with a woman exiting her marriage (so she thought) to become a lesbian. I was caught in the middle with a broken heart while she was "finding" herself...and ultimately went back to her marriage. I was never #1 in her life, but yet she had a great deal of fun with me learning about her newfound sexuality. It hurt for months! What I tell bi-curious women (folks like you who are still in hetero relationships and beginning to experiment with women) is to please fine OTHER bi-curious women that don't develop as much an attachment to them. They can have fun sex together and everyone comes out fine. Also, both understand the commitment to their lover's male partner. Often with "real" lesbians there are alot of hard feelings about the woman sleeping with her male partner. Am I making any sense here? Once you decide to leave your hetero relationship (if you decide to) you will be in a better position to go into the lesbian community and seek a long-term partner. You will be viewed as more serious about your sexual intentions rather than just a thrill seeker. Hope that helps. Whatever you do to follow your heart, remember that you are still accountable to the other people you touch with your behavior. "Free love" isn't exactly free...if you get what I maen. Good Luck Pitbow

I can REALLY REALLY relate to your story! I'm in a similar mess. I'm in a rural community and there is little to do but wait it out.....not sure what other options there are. I spend most of my time feeling pretty angry and ripped off. Do you? That alternates with wanting to be "with" her. UGH! Maybe we can help each other through this...idunno. I guess we each have to find a way to cope with the feelings, then decide and move on (in whatever direction)! If its breaking up, that reallysucks! If its getting back together...jeez, under what conditions? There is no good answer. It makes me want to enact a new law against the "intermarriage" of hetero and lesbian women!!!! Take Care

My gf of 4 years suddenly stopped wanting to be touched in any way, not even hugs!. This sudden change started about 6 months ago when she pushed me away from a goodbye kiss. I was completely stunned! Just a year ago she was interested in all parts of the relationship, especially the sexual and cuddling stuff. She says "I'm depressed", she even has a sexual abuse history....yet...why does she do this so suddenly and refuse to discuss it at all?!? Despite this, she expects me to maintain monogamy with her. This comes out to being "forced celebacy" for me. Any other day I would tell her off and end the relationship, and move far enough away as to end all contact with her. but I spent several thousands of dollars to move where I live to be with her. It is a rural town with NO out lesbians, and I have 2 more years of school. IT just seems like I'm forced into this pattern by circumstances with no way out until graduation. Now I'M depressed! I don't know what to do. Where I lived before there was ways for me to meet new people and I would just leave her. Tha'ts not true now. What would you folks do?