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Well, I just put in a new subject but it's the same article as "AFTER COOL OFF & BREAK UP, LIFE GOES ON..." I need your insights and comments. I added another question below. thanks!!! First, my girlfriend of six months told me she needed space. To recap, she owns and manages her own bar and café. We have had threee major fights, all of which were caused by my jealousy towards her work. As owner/manager, she meets different guys every night, from Monday to Sunday. At first, everything was like a bed of roses, things went smooth. Until one night in April I went to the bar and witnessed how she "entertained" her guests. She went from one table to another, sitting down with her guests. Now, my point is she's the manager, not a mere hostess or guest relations officer (GRO) as we here in the Philippines call them. A GRO's job is to sit with guys, sing for them, make them buy them drinks and food from which they get a commission. I told her to put some dignity to her work. She doesn't need to act like a GRO, right? AND ALL HER GUESTS AND ADMIRERS ARE MARRIED. That night we fought, but made up the following day. I told her that if I didn't see how she "entertained" her guests, I wouldn't have gotten jealous. So I decided to limit my visits to her bar, or just go there when it's not too busy. And she assured me that she would never get involved with a guest. Another month of smooth sailing went by. Until one night I decided to drop by. The place wasn't full, since it was a Thursday. We were so sweet with each other, and she even sang for me. I found out from her staff that the previous night, she sang a duet with one of her guests. Of course, I got upset. I confronted her, asked her why she had to stoop that low. She reasoned that it was her job, and I said it doesn't fit the job description of a manager/owner. So we had our second major fight that night in May, and again, made up the following day. Again, she reassured me that it would be impossible for her to get involved with her guests. The last Tuesday of June, I was on my way to her bar to see her. It was only 5pm, and her bar opens around 6pm. Guess what? On my way there she texts me and tells me that she already has a guest. I couldn't believe it! It's only 5pm and she already has a guest! Now, this guest (no, it's not the same guy she sang a duet with) is a regular, always goes there because he has the hots for one of her staff. I got upset, reasoning out that it was supposed to be our time, since the bar opens at 6pm. She said she had to entertain her guest. I said, he's not your guest. It so happened that the girl to whom her guest has the hots for is on vacation. I told her it doesn't look good that all of a sudden she's the one entertaining this particular guest. I told her what I told her before, to put some dignity in her work, that she's not a GRO but a manager and owner. I was so pissed off! She always blamed me for not understanding the nature of her job. I do, but given the circumstances I couldn't. I couldn't accept the fact that she acts more like a hostess/GRO and not as manager/owner, that she would sing for and with her guests. I told her she was selfish because she did not even consider my reasons to get jealous. That was our third major fight, and Sunday that week, she told me that she needed space. So I gave in to her request. The first few days were hard, because I truly loved her like I never loved anyone. I was hoping for a reconciliation. Our six months together were so intense. We were already renting a room, we even talked about living together before getting married, etc. But you know what happened? After two weeks, she tells me she's happy already. I found out that she already has a boyfriend. And do you know who her boyfriend is? It's the same guest whom she sang a duet with. I couldn't believe it. At first, I thought it would be hard to get over her. When she told me she had a boyfriend already, I thought my world came crashing down. But when I found out the same day that her boyfriend is a guest, all of a sudden, I lost my respect for her. That same instant, my love for her just vanished. I lost respect for her because I realized what she has been telling me were all lies. I don't believe that she truly loved me because it took her just two weeks to replace. I don't believe that she wouldn't get involved her guests, because that's what exactly happened. She did get involved with a guest, and to make matters worse, THE GUY IS MARRIED! After analyzing things, I realized we were not meant for each other. Sorry if I sound arrogant, but I think I don't deserve her, I think I deserve someone better. It's good that her true colors came out in the open, that she has no values and morals to begin with. Do you think the nature of her work has eaten into her? I mean, she goes to the bar every night, her values and morals must have eroded or something. I'm not being righteous, it just appears that way. I have also this nagging feeling that she already decided to dump me for that married guy even before our relationship was over. Such is life, and life goes on for me.

First, my girlfriend of six months told me she needed space. To recap, she owns and manages her own bar and café. We have had threee major fights, all of which were caused by my jealousy towards her work. As owner/manager, she meets different guys every night, from Monday to Sunday. At first, everything was like a bed of roses, things went smooth. Until one night in April I went to the bar and witnessed how she "entertained" her guests. She went from one table to another, sitting down with her guests. Now, my point is she's the manager, not a mere hostess or guest relations officer (GRO) as we here in the Philippines call them. A GRO's job is to sit with guys, sing for them, make them buy them drinks and food from which they get a commission. I told her to put some dignity to her work. She doesn't need to act like a GRO, right? AND ALL HER GUESTS AND ADMIRERS ARE MARRIED. That night we fought, but made up the following day. I told her that if I didn't see how she "entertained" her guests, I wouldn't have gotten jealous. So I decided to limit my visits to her bar, or just go there when it's not too busy. And she assured me that she would never get involved with a guest. Another month of smooth sailing went by. Until one night I decided to drop by. The place wasn't full, since it was a Thursday. We were so sweet with each other, and she even sang for me. I found out from her staff that the previous night, she sang a duet with one of her guests. Of course, I got upset. I confronted her, asked her why she had to stoop that low. She reasoned that it was her job, and I said it doesn't fit the job description of a manager/owner. So we had our second major fight that night in May, and again, made up the following day. Again, she reassured me that it would be impossible for her to get involved with her guests. The last Tuesday of June, I was on my way to her bar to see her. It was only 5pm, and her bar opens around 6pm. Guess what? On my way there she texts me and tells me that she already has a guest. I couldn't believe it! It's only 5pm and she already has a guest! Now, this guest (no, it's not the same guy she sang a duet with) is a regular, always goes there because he has the hots for one of her staff. I got upset, reasoning out that it was supposed to be our time, since the bar opens at 6pm. She said she had to entertain her guest. I said, he's not your guest. It so happened that the girl to whom her guest has the hots for is on vacation. I told her it doesn't look good that all of a sudden she's the one entertaining this particular guest. I told her what I told her before, to put some dignity in her work, that she's not a GRO but a manager and owner. I was so pissed off! She always blamed me for not understanding the nature of her job. I do, but given the circumstances I couldn't. I couldn't accept the fact that she acts more like a hostess/GRO and not as manager/owner, that she would sing for and with her guests. I told her she was selfish because she did not even consider my reasons to get jealous. That was our third major fight, and Sunday that week, she told me that she needed space. So I gave in to her request. The first few days were hard, because I truly loved her like I never loved anyone. I was hoping for a reconciliation. Our six months together were so intense. We were already renting a room, we even talked about living together before getting married, etc. But you know what happened? After two weeks, she tells me she's happy already. I found out that she already has a boyfriend. And do you know who her boyfriend is? It's the same guest whom she sang a duet with. I couldn't believe it. At first, I thought it would be hard to get over her. When she told me she had a boyfriend already, I thought my world came crashing down. But when I found out the same day that her boyfriend is a guest, all of a sudden, I lost my respect for her. That same instant, my love for her just vanished. I lost respect for her because I realized what she has been telling me were all lies. I don't believe that she truly loved me because it took her just two weeks to replace. I don't believe that she wouldn't get involved her guests, because that's what exactly happened. She did get involved with a guest, and to make matters worse, THE GUY IS MARRIED! After analyzing things, I realized we were not meant for each other. Sorry if I sound arrogant, but I think I don't deserve her, I think I deserve someone better. It's good that her true colors came out in the open, that she has no values and morals to begin with. Such is life, and life goes on for me.

It's officially over. After just two weeks of "cooling off", my girlfriend called me yesterday to tell me that she's happy now and has a new man in her life. Flashback here for a while: My girlfriend owns a bar and as manager/owner, she meets different guys every night. This was always the cause of our three major fights. She said it was my inability to understand the nature of her job. We had our last fight last June 24, again over my jealousy. I admit it was difficult for me not to be jealous. Maybe it was all my fault. And she always assured me she would never get into a relationship with her guests because they are simply guests. Anyway, so from that time on she said she needed space to think things over. So I heeded her request and we cooled off. I was confident to win her back. You see, we were together for six months and during that time, our relationship was really intense. She even brought up the topic of us getting married. I'm in my early 30s and she turned 30 today. We also rented a room we called Love Nest. She said she really loved me and all, and I was clinging to that. I was just her second boyfriend, and the gap between the first and me was four years. Why? Because she was so busy with their family business she didn't have time. Until November last year when she put up the bar, that was the only time we started going out and became an item a month later. And then yesterday, she tells me she has a new man. At first I thought it would take me quite some time to get over her. But I found out a few things about her new man that somewhat eased the pain. First, her new man is a regular guest in her bar. I realized that she was just playing me like a fool. And just after two weeks? Wow! I also realized that the love she professed to me during the six months we were together was not as deep as I thought it was. It was just a shallow kind of love. Where's her dignity? And what about the four-year gap between her first boyfriend and me? I again realized that her standards were really not that high, considering that just after two weeks she finds a replacement. The funny part is her new boyfriend is married. So what does that make her? A mistress! I have nothing against mistresses, but she could at least get into a relationship with a bachelor. Again, I realized that she's the type of player who doesn't really stick to one person too long. Maybe I'm just sour-graping here. But from this part of the world, the Philippines, ladies here are not as liberated as those from the West or other countries. We're still kinda conservative here, us being the only Catholic country in the whole of Asia. Last night was an eye-opener for me. In a matter of hours, I was able to accept the reality and had a nice, deep sleep. When I woke up this morning, I told myself that it's time to move on. And now I'm moving on. Colleagues, feel free to comment. Maybe I'm just boosting my morale. But I really think I won here in spite of the fact that she already found another guy. Hey, I'm happy too. I lost respect for her because everything she told me she wouldn't do -- like get into a relationship with a guest -- she did. At least I still have my integrity and dignity intact. Call me old-fashioned but I still value integrity and dignity over what my heart dictates. I don't know who said it but a philosopher or someone else once said, "women, those irrational creatures." I remember Tom Arnold's line in the movie "True Lies", "women, can't live without them, can't kill them." To all you guys out there, more power!

This is a follow-up to my first post yesterday, entitled "I NEED SPACE..." SHE SAID. Anyway, to summarize, my girlfriend owns a bar and being the owner/manager, she meets guys everynight from Monday to Sunday. In the six months that we were together, we fought thrice mainly because of my jealousy over her guests. And my inability to understand the nature of her job. Two weeks ago we had our third fight, and she said she needed space. I have been texting her almost everyday, telling her that I still exist and that I'll always be here no matter what. We spoke two days ago and I asked if we could have dinner on Friday since it's her birthday. She again uttered "I NEED SPACE", and that she was very busy she hardly has time to herself. I text her but I never receive a reply. So my question: IS "COOL OFF" ANOTHER WAY OF SAYING IT'S OVER? Obviously, Im still so much in love with her and I want to win her back. Apparently, the past two weeks, she proved she's okay without me while I am miserable. Does that mean I love her more than she loved me? Is our love so shallow she can easily forget me?

My girlfriend owns a bar in a suburb south of the Philippine capital of Manila. Since she owns and manages it, she's there every night, Monday to Sunday. She opened the bar last November, and we started going out the following month. The first few months were okay, we even rented a room which we call our Love Nest. At first, I understood that meeting people is part of her job. I don't usually go to the bar because I don't want her to be uncomfortable. But one night in March, I decided to go there since it was Friday and I had nothing to do. That's when I first started to get jealous, because I saw that she was hopping from one table to another entertaining different men. We fought that night, but made up the following day. The next few weeks were testy for both of us, especially for me because I find out that some of her guests are already trying to "court" her, "desire" her, and ask her out. I confronted her about this and she assured me that those guests mean nothing to her, it's just business. So I let it pass. One night in April, I was just there hanging out with her in the bar when I found out that she sang a duet with another male guest the previous night. Of course that pissed me off. Again, she assured me that it was nothing. That same night, we were so close and sweet to each other when all of a sudden another male guest -- who has already told her he likes her -- comes in. Immediately, she moves away from me as if she doesn't know me. What's worse is, she sings a song for him. To make it short, we fought for the second time. And we made up also shortly after. Now, last week of June, we had our third fight. This time, it involved another guest. That's three different guests and three different fights! I was supposed to go to the bar early afternoon since that's the time there are no guests and we can talk freely and act like a couple. But lo and behold! There was already a male guest at 5pm! I was furious, and we fought again. I reasoned out that since he is a regular guest, he knows very well that the bar opens at 6pm. Anyway, we fought again and this time she said she has had enough. She said that if I can't understand the nature of her job, we should end the whole thing. Now, I love her so much I don't want to lose her. As the song goes, "we had the right love at the wrong time". But I gave in to what she wanted, and we are now in the cooling off stage. I am really heartbroken because I found out that her dad bought another bar and now she has to manage two bars. I spoke to her last night and told me she's so busy she doesn't even have time to herself. I am still hoping for a reconciliation. Was I wrong to get jealous and insecure? What if the tables were turned and I was the one meeting ladies every night?