shell80

Walkon... I'm so sorry you are going thru this. I thought I'd reply to you as I know how hard the long distance part of a relationship is...I've just broken up with my LD bf. I also know how hard it is going from talking everyday online or the phone, then nothing...it breaks your heart, and you feel so lost. BUT - my advice to you (and I wish I had taken my own), please try and refrain from contacting him - at least until you visit on work where he is living. I know that you have not officially broken up yet - but give him time to miss you and think. He doesn't need to constant reminder that you love him - he knows, and if he is good enough for you, he will make the right decision. How do people deal with this?....... its hard -really hard, this is your first big relationship yeah? You are probably thinking that you wont get thru it - but you will. I'm late 20s - and have been there, gotten thru it. Time and lots of support from people who love you will get you thru.

Hello - this is my very first post and time on this forum which I randomly found. Your thread caught my eye. While I completely agree with what you said - I now feel completely crappy and am blaming myself for the recent breakup of my relationship.... Perhaps you and anyone else out there reading this could give me some insight/advice... My boyfriend and I were in a pretty intense long distance relationship. Met over a year ago while I was living overseas, then continued on when I moved back to my country for study. I visited him a few months ago and since then it was all on - ie he was moving over here to be with me, lots of plans made etc. Out of the blue he stopped talking to me - and I hadnt heard from him for 10 days. As this was very random, of course I phoned a couple of times and sent him worried IMs and emails. I also had big news that I was trying to cope with at the time that I wanted him to know. He had always been there for me and vice versa in the past so it was very strange behaviour. After 2 wks he spoke to me on msn (would not talk on the phone) and it was like trying to get blood out of a stone - he would not tell me anything and was angry at me for I have no idea what. 4 wks later - he has not spoken to me since. I have him space - (hello im on the other side of the world) and in the meantime only phoned and left a message on his phone for his birthday, and sent a final email telling him that he needed to get in touch with me at some stage as he was hurting me, leaving me hanging - I also gave him an out of the relationship if he wanted it - I was completely calm and rational throughout the whole thing. So - after no contact, ive had to assume its over and im devastated. Did I not give him enough space??? Should I not have worried about him when he disappeared for 10 days? Did I care too much - and this pushed him away?? Any responses would be greatly appreciated.THANKYOU!