lexiblue

a letter from my brother......any advice for him? I work for a furniture company that I started in at $10.00 an hour working in the warehouse. After working a few months they moved me on the trucks. I drive and deliver. They changed the pay rate to commission. This I was not too thrilled with. They made it seem like we would make a lot of money and some times it can come to be 20+ an hour. More often it is not. I put in 12 to 16 hours a day work 60+ hours a week no overtime pay and if you where to add my checks they would average in at less than $10.00 an hour. (The amount I was originally making). They also have us doing work like fixing the roof and other non - original job descriptions. I don't really mind that as much but again no over time pay. The biggest problem I have is when the merchandise is flawed and a customer complains they take our commission away even if it is the fault of the warehouse, salesperson, or manufacturer. We drive all over the state of Wisconsin and to Illinois. They tell us if we don't like it there are plenty of people would love this job since the market is bad. However I know they can't keep anyone so I do not feel that threaten. For that reason the job market the way it is I stay. I am over worked and we get written up for being late when we worked 7 am -mid-night three days in a row and written up for calling in sick because they want a bigger effort to prove we are sick; like coming in so they can see us & having a doctors excuse (who has time for the doctor?) I sick with exhaustion. Please shed some light on this don't I have some rights at least to overtime pay or not having my commission docked?

Hi, I'm sorry to hear you are hurting. I don't necessarily believe that our lovers are our soul mates unless they have bigger than life lessons for us. Relationships should help us to grow to find out who we are how we want to be treated in this life. The world is full of so many people that will come in and out of your life, each bring to you a world of lessons even bad people. When you talk about the soul it is the essense that we are. Many mates await you to make you emotionally and spiritually aware. Not everyone gets to this places hopefully you understand and perhaps you can start to heal. Try not to end up sorrowful your whole life over lost loves live and live for you to be independent. That is when you can find your true hearts soul mate.

whats wrong with the using the word manipulative?

I do agree that confronting with out judgment is the key. However, my dad is a compulsive liar he will bold face deny it. He will put on his "I need to be hospitalized I'm nuts" act. He is very dramatic. No, he is not physically aggressive but he is very manipulative. I have never had a problem telling my dad off or telling him what I think about things and he ends up not talking to me for a long time and tries to make it seem like your fault. Like I said his emotional age is 17. I also agree that as adults my brothers and I have really no business in my parents' marriage. We would support any decision that they made for themselves as individuals or as a couple. It is not my feelings I am concern with, it is our mothers who has been living with him all these years they way he is. Her mental and physical health is at stake. She has always been a thin women but she has become practically nothing. Yes, I realize that she makes her decision to stay in this we are all responsible for our own feeling and outcomes no matter what you did or didn't do to deserve it. I know as women my self growing up in a different generation, choosing not to marry at a young age, growing from relationship issues I would not put up with this. I would want to know. I would know I deserved better. I am in my 4th serious relationship. All lasting at least 5 years and dated people in-between but not jumping from relationship to relationship. I am different in my views and my ideals than my mother. I do respect where she comes from and I realize how different we are from each other So, I guess I want to treat this very delicately I want to thank you all for your advise it has helped me see sort out my thoughts any other advice is welcomed!

My brother wanted to confront my dad the next time he hears him talking to her. We do agree that we would talk to our dad first and not with our mother. We want to tell him that he needs tells her or we tell her. he needs to stop and get couple therapy. I would love to beale to tell him I love him however, that is not an easy task for any of us. See, we are all emtionally shut down and a lot of it has to do with him. We have never been that kind of family. We hug & kiss when we see each other but thats how we express it. I have no problem telling my aunt and my boyfriend that I love them. I was also able to tell my grandma That I loved her with no problem but thats it. This are the people I feel most comfortable in life with.

My Father has been caught, by my younger brother talking to a woman on the phone. The 1st time he heard our dad telling this women he wanted to kiss her and hold her. That she has been his love for the past 4 years. He then heard 3 other conversation that stated similar things. The last time he heard dad making plans to meet this women in a couple of weeks. Our dad also states to this women that no one is faintly aware of there situation. Now, I am the oldest and I had different mother but this mother has raised me for most of my life and I love her dearly. My real mother died at my birth. The brother that heard the conversation is 2nd oldest. This is his birth mother. He had to move home for the time being. We have 2 younger brothers. Our age's range 34-22 all of us agree that if dad no longer loves mom he should leave her. They have been married 31 years. His deceit is tearing our hearts out, mostly because he has been suffering from depression and a mid-life for the past 4 years. My father is not very stable he is 56 years old however, his emotional age is 17. The family has been stressed by this mostly because we walk on eggshells with him. My father is also a compulsive liar, too many things to go into detail about. Our mother is a bit old fashion she was raised in a catholic house with a family that never talked about their problems. She does everything for dad. It kind of makes me sick. He is loud and boisterous she is quite and introverted. I do see she is strong but I don't know how she will take this. We all fear telling her because we don't want to see her hurt. On the other hand she deserves to know. She has told me, "now that the youngest is out of the house I can do things for myself." There is so much I could go into about the things that have taken place in the past 4 years but… it would be a novel. I just want to ask, do we tell mom. What are we to do? My dad has been in & out of therapy. He has done many things to see that they don't do couple therapy even though it has been the advice of the therapist. We are all very angry with our dad and for many reasons. I personally have tried to accept what he is and just keep the past in the past but this I cannot deal with. Please, anyone?

Well, my advice to you is telling your wife you want a separation and take some time to figure things out. I'm betting you will continue this affair no matter what. You'll end up feeling guilty for the rest of your marriage and it will end in due time. So maybe you should start the process and allow your wife the women you once felt love for an opportunity to find real happiness. Somewhere down deep your wife knows. As for this other women if she says she's happy with her husband, she will never leave him. It's "having your cake and eating it to". If you find you really don't love your wife the way you once did then think about leaving her but try the separation first. Good luck.

Hi, why did you decide to marry this woman? Not that it makes a difference. I'm only asking because of your age and the small amount of time you have been married. I am a year younger than you I have had a couple of relationships that were as long as your marriage (3 of them). I have never left anyone for anyone else. I always left because I felt we were not growing mentally and emotionally in the same places. I also need time in-between people to find out what is going on with me and what my needs are. What made this person "the one" to be married to? That now you have run into someone who has awaked you. This is not a judgmental question, I just am curious