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downward spiral

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About downward spiral

  • Birthday July 9

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  1. WOW! Very descriptive and scary. Superb.
  2. I want to rip out your eyes. I want to inflict pain upon your being. You have toyed with me for to long. There will be no chance for healing. Who do you think you are? To treat me the way you do. You have no authority over me I refuse too allow you to. I never want to see you again. You don’t deserve my heart. You will be the one left alone. You will be the one torn apart…
  3. BLAME Sometimes things dont work out the way youd like them to. what you thought was real ony made you feel like a fool. but when you are lost in the moment, the lies you just cant see. And when it is over you realize but dont want to believe. You gave so much and never asked for it back. No one noticed what you gave and now it feels like knife in your back. Now your left with a sorrowed past and its shame. and all the tears you cry make it seem like your to blame. CONVERSATION WITH MYSELF Puddles are formed by tears. Pity is felt by those who shed them.I dont want your pity, I feel sorry for myself as it is. dont worry about me, i dont. Be happy you say. Why? What for? There is hope you say. Expect the best but only get the worst I say, its always the same. I know, I know I am so negative, what is there to be positive about? Life you say. Ok, i will give you that one. See you later. STONES Stones are thrown Stones are always thrown at me, I have always known who am I but and unknown? I will never have a thrown I only know what i have been shown hasnt been much, ive never grown Shaped by a groan Ignored when I moan My life I have never owned I weep for what i have sewn DUSTY SHELVES Sometimes we find we must put away the old memories. Put away the old dreams that wont let us get on with our lives. Let the wounds of penance finally heal after all this time. Its time to dust the shelves of our MINDS and move on. We must leave the past behind, it is no place to live. Put our fears awya, these demons should not haunt us. Let the hurt of abuse subside, we can never forget but we can forgive. its time to dust the shelves of our SOULS and move on. Now it is time to dream of things much higher than ever thought. Put away the solitude we have been feeling for so long. Let the pain of neglect show us the way to everlasting love. Its time to dust the shelves of our SPIRIT and move on. Now it is time to love like we have never loved before. Put away the shame that keeps us at bay. Let the lies of so many teach us the truth. Its time to dust the shelves of our HEARTS and move on.
  4. Standing at the corner waiting to see. Lost for the moment, what can I be? Tortured inside without a father to love me. A lonely child is all I will ever be. I have remained alone, my innosense gone. Untouched by love, what did I do so wrong? Where am I going and for how long. All I have for me is my sad song. Take me for today, take me for a while. Dry my cries, make me smile. It may get better but I am in denial. I look up. One more mile.
  5. There is a silence on the wind. Wisps’ my hair but stings my skin. My breath distorts my vision. Like a fog It surrounds my being. My body shakes with a chill. Chattering my teeth, I cannot stand still. My motions begin to decrease. Lips turning blue, spirit beginning to release. The shivering has ceased. The vision gone, I am deceased.
  6. This if course was written not long after this attempt. I thank God everday i failed one last time... In my room, walls so bare. thinking of my empty life, for me who cares? Ive tried so hard to make it through. I used to dream of finding someone true. The world would be better off without me. I lock the door so no one can see. In my hand, the bitter pill. Tossing my options but only finding ill will. In the other hand a glass of water. I wonder if I would be like this if I had a father. Tears begin to roll down my face. I cannot believe im still here, living is such a waste. I stare at the pills in my palm yes I am crying but through all of this I am still calm. I begin to wonder if the pills will take to long, maybe a blade to my wrist or is that wrong? I put the pills on the floor, I grab the blade and check the door. I sit on my bed and close my eyes. the pain mounts in my wrist but I hold back my cries. I open my eyes but still see black. what did i do? Will i ever come back? If my life is over, please forgive me. I want to come back, i want to see. I pray this is just a dream, i pray i wake up alive and screaming. Please Lorde forgive me for what I have done. Let me come back to life, i realize life must be won. Thank you Lord, you let me live. from now on in my life, I will not take, but i will give.
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