Jitrenda

One small problem. I have four wonderful cats. And i'm not giving them up.

Hmm...maybe you can call her from an unknown number and if she picks up, tell her to not hang up or say i love you and speak really fast what you need to say so that she hears it. Or you could ask could we meet in public somewhere, for like 5 minutes??? And if she doesn't want to listen after five minutes it's her choice? I honestly don't really know...but i hope those help!!!

Hi There! I think you should fight for your girl. But in order to do that, you two have to come to some agreement and sacrifices must be made. In this case, you should cut the contact with the ex. It is only hurting you, your ex and most of all your girlfriend. If you want to fight for your girl and truly love her, you should give up the contact with your ex. After all she is your ex and is in the past. Your girl is the present and you do say you want her in your future. You need to compromise and make her happy. Unfortunately relationships are never easy and are all about compromise. You know that talking to the ex hurts her. If you truly love her, why would you continue hurting her? And lying is a big thing too. Trust is huge!!! Everytime you talk to the ex, you lose her trust a little bit. Do you really want that? You two should sit down in a room and just talk. Figure out what you want from each other. And go from there. I hope that helps! Good luck!

Hey All!!! Once again i have roomie troubles. *sighs* GRRR!!! The roomie's brother has been staying the past week...it hasn't been too bad actually, i really like having his brother around. I wish i was living with him instead of my actual roommate. He is a lot nicer, respects women and is a lot cleaner. It's my roommate's turn to clean the place...he hasn't gotten around to it yet...and next week is my week. Grrr! The problem is: We gave the brother an extra set of keys. So he can come and go as he pleases as he has very odd work hours. He will be leaving soon (sunday morning - tomorrow). He wants to keep the keys in the apartment. I don't understand why when we won't have anyone else staying with us. I don't trust him or his friends. They are all druggies (the brother can testify to this.) I don't want those keys in the apartment so that his friends could randomly pick them up and get our stuff....or hurt my cats (who are my kids). I want to give them to the landlady, which i think is valid. But he's like "why? i made a copy. so she may get mad i made a copy. If someone else stays with us, i can just give them the keys." Me: "We can still give them the keys, we just go through the landlady. It's not a big inconvience." I still have to live with him for another five months, then the lease is up. I have recently discovered that he may be moving back to BC after the lease is up. And he told me before that, that he was staying and not moving out (which translate into i would have to move out). We both really like the place, but i am having trouble with him. He has no problems with me. (grrr) I am frustrated because he cannot seem to make up his mind. He contradicts himself all the time and when i call him on it, he gets mad at me. And because he doesn't respect women, i get some pretty derogatory comments from him. I have talked to him about this, but i'm not getting anywhere. I can't move out just yet, as i just moved in less than a month ago, and need to save up to move again. Does anyone have an ideas for coping or dealing with him? I'm getting really stressed. I can't sleep and i'm getting depressed. He has really bad vibes and they are affecting me. Thank you all for listening and reading this....needed to vent and maybe get some advice. Just soo lost and confused right now. Thanks! *hugs*

Hey Some Guy and Roxanne, Thank you both for your replies!!! Very much appreciated... Well i sort of had the talk with him about things going on in my head....and how things aren't going so well. I had forgotten he is does not like to be confronted (grrrr). So i mentioned a few things and he says he will try better. Apparently all the other problems (not mentioned), are all in my head. He likes me as a roommate, doesn't have any issues with me (other than my cats attacking his 3D puzzles.) So it's just me that has issues with him. We talked it out and have come to a compromise for now. I just hope it will work. I'm stuck living with him for six months as we have a lease (i have never had leases for places of my own before...i have no idea why he got one...) and i can't get out of it...i looked into it and grilled them like crazy... So yeah...things are okay. I guess just the stress of uprooting and moving.... So anyways, thank you all and i will keep you posted on any further happenings. Thank you once again for all your help!!! *hugs*

The problems that we are having are these: 1. We have two totally different lifestyles. He is not athletic. I am starting to be athletic again. I eat totally healthy now, i am going to a gym and going to be going to dance class soon. (starting next month!! I can't wait!) He is very lazy and eats ENORMOUS amounts of unhealthy food. When he gets home from work...he is really really loud (he talks really loud...i can literally here him about half a block away...and he bangs around when making his dinner/breakfast). He works nights and i work days. So he interrupts my sleep pattern. I have to get up early. He is usually gone at work by the time i get home. And is usually at work when i leave...so i don't bother him. He treats me not so great....he is obnoxious and bugs me all the time. Thankfully he hasn't starting hitting the cats (no he doesn't hit me, but he really doesn't like the cats). Like he puts me down and demeans me now. Before when i was his "goddess" as he called me, he treated me great. I am glad not to be the godess...but would like some better treatment. He brings all his druggie and smoker friends over to our place, when i am trying to sleep...you can imagine how loud they get. We had an agreement that we would have no one over as our place is our place and no one else's. But now, he is bringing loud and rowdy people over.I think that covers it. I hope that helps! We don't really see a lot of each other, but when we do, it's never good. It's awful. We need to work something out...but i don't know how. Please help! Thank you!

Hi All, I didn't quite know where to post this correctly, so please forgive me if i posted this in the wrong area. I will make this really brief. I have recently moved to a totally different city (in the same province). I moved in with my best guy friend. Things are not working out at all. I have discovered with both have changed over the years...and we do not mesh at all. We have different lifestyles, habits and personalities. I have cats and the one thing he asked me was that i was to make sure my cats don't attack his 3D puzzles. Well....not to be rude, but cats go pretty much anywhere they want. Mine do anyway. I told him to kitty proof anything he didn't want them to get at. Did he listen? No. It's been hard, because he used to have me on this pedestal (i used to be the template that he compared his girlfriends too) and has finally realized that i am human and make mistakes like everyone else. Which I am happy about, ecstatic. But unfortunately, with that...he treats me really bad. He treats me like he does everyone else....which is pretty darn grrrrr. My biggest dilemma right now is that we need to move out and fast before we ruin the friendship. This just isn't working...but unfortunately we have signed a lease for 6 months and if we break it we pay the company a lot of money, unless either of us makes a lot to cover the cost of one of us moving out. Which unfortunately neither of us makes. I don't consider him my best friend anymore, or even a friend, he drives me up the wall...and i'm pretty sure he's right there with me.... Does anyone have any ideas on how to work this out? So we can at least make it through the six months of the lease and then we can go our separate ways? Please any and all responses are welcome. Thank you all for your time and your responses!!! *hugs* Have a wonderful day!

I just wanted to thank you all for your kind words and advice that you have given me. I will be doing something to honor my baby. I haven't decided what yet...but i will be doing something. Something different and unique. And just to clarify as i forgot to mention. I actually planned this pregnancy. I really really wanted to have a child. I was soo looking forward to having a child of mine own. However, after losing this one, i will be taking my time about planning the next one. God does work in mysterious ways. Once again, thank you all very very much! *huge hugs*

Hi All, My question to all you out there at enotalone: how does one heal after being seriously hurt by someone they really really cared about? Any ideas? See as you all know, i was in a relationship with a guy from another country. And he left. And he didn't visit me at the hospital. Grrr. Well we finally were able to talk and he still wants to be friends with me. And i don't want to be friends with him. Well, i do, but it is better if i don't. For my sake. Being friends with him, didn't benefit me, it was only hurting me. So i wrote him an e'mail telling him i couldn't be friends with him, and explaining why exactly i couldn't be friends with him. And then i blocked him from my e'mail and blocked him from my msn messenger...so that he cannot contact me. I just can't be friends with him. But the thing is: i still think about him ALL THE TIME! And i don't want to. I wish i could say that i hate him, but i don't. I still care a lot for him. When i think of him and i, i think of all the good times we had together. And i want to move on. I want to get him out of my head and move on with my life. Does anyone have any ideas on how to move on and get him out of my head???? I'm seriously hurting and i want the hurt to stop!!!

Hi All! I'm really really struggling right now...I mean how could I be so stupid? Knowing what i knew? Why did i make the wrong choice? Why can i never make the right decision? For those of you who remember. I found out i was pregnant and then i lost the baby. And thrown in there i was dating this guy (who is a doctor). Well, he and i are finished now, as he has gone back to his home country. And I MISS him SOOO MUCH! If you don't want to read all of this, just scroll down to the bold and italicized text, that is where the main problem lies. I'm really really struggling right now. I mean how could i have been so stupid? Getting into a relationship, knowing that he was leaving? And knowing that i would get hurt, and he would just walk away. Not very smart. But when i think of the times we spent together i only think of the good times, not the bad times. I mean, i was in the hospital and he couldn't come visit me! And all he had to do was drive a little ways accross town!!! Saying he was busy with his family (who was visiting from his home country). And i have all my friends visiting me from my hometown (which is about a 10 hour drive) when they found out i was in the hospital!!! That is a big difference! Him not taking the time to drive accross town and all of my friends are driving 10 hours to see me!!! Then he didn't want me to come to the airport...as his family was there and they would want attention, and so would i (if i was there) and he didn't want to spread himself too thin. And that he wanted to keep the memories good, with no bad.... I mean he's 26....you don't hide behind your family when you are 26!!! Sorry all i am just so angry and soo hurt. I am angry at him, but i more angry at myself. I am angry at myself for evening getting into this relationship, knowing that he was leaving and that it wasn't a serious relationship. I am not a person to have flings. I like serious relationships. I am just soo angry that he is unaffected whereas i am here, a big puddle of mess! But i chalk it up to, he was foreigner...and we all know the allure of dating people from another country. But still i hate that I MISS him TERRIBLY! That is what irks me. I have e'mailed him, asking him if we are still friends or not, (stupid i know, i should just move on), but no reply yet, but still it's only day one. I have realized that my problem is that i don't love myself, which is why my relationships with guys fail. My question to you all here at enotalone is: How did you learn to love yourself? Did you all have some methods or ideas out there that i could try so that i may learn to love who i am? I am so hopeless. Let me know please. Thank you for taking the time to read this and reply to this!

Hey All, I just thought i would all let you know the news. I had posted a topic titled: "I'm Pregnant and Depressed". Link is: link removed Well, I found out that i lost the baby. I haven't miscarried the baby yet. I will probably have to go through a mini surgery and they will scrap it out. In my mind, that's pretty darn scary. This was to be my first baby. Obviously it wasn't meant to be. Maybe next time. I just thought you all should know. As a side note, the guy i mentioned in the earlier topic (see the link). He and i are seeing each other now, so it worked out, that is a long story in itself, but bottom line, everything worked out for him and i. That is the one good thing going for me right now. As for the father of the baby, i have told him that i lost the baby. Turns out shortly after i told him that i was pregnant, he started seeing someone else. They have been dating for almost 3 months now. (Basically right after i told him i was pregnant). If anyone here has had a miscarriage or missed abortion (that is what the doctor calls it in my case)...how did you deal? I would like some suggestions so i may deal with this. This is hard for me. I really really wanted this baby. Thank you all for your help and concerns. You all have been great. Thank you for taking the time to read this and to reply. *hugs*

Hey Sorry i should have cleared this up. The guy i am interested in, but has stopped calling, is a doctor. Sorry for the confusion. So i don't think he is scared by being in a relationship with a single mom....

I'm pregnant. I'm happy about it but scared. I'm going through depression right now and having a hard time getting out of it. I cannot be on anti-depressants, due to the fact they are harmful to the baby. So i'm really struggling. I am raising the baby alone, as the father decided he didn't want to stick around. My family and friends is all back home, in the province of British Columbia. And i don't really have friends out here in Alberta. I recently had met a great guy and things were going well, and then he stopped calling. I left a few messages over a week period...but still no call...so he is out of the picture obviously. And i'm pretty bummed about it. I really really like him. He is a great guy. And he also is a doctor. Anyone have any advice for battling this depression amist the raging pregnancy hormones? Thank you for all and any replies!

Hey faeriechyld... Ever considered grief counselling or getting some professional help to deal with everything?

Hey there all!! Question: Does anyone have some sure fire ways to lose weight?? I need to lose 30 pounds by christmas and fast!!!! Thank you in advice for any and all replies!!! *hugs* jitrenda