Hello my friend,
First of all, sorry about the loss of your wife. I can understand what it is to lose the person you love, especially when you have been betrayed.
Speaking as a woman, I feel that she is not reliable, that she really really is going to do this to you again and again.
Like the other guy who wrote to you said, it is not about you, and it is not about the other guy. It is about her. She has a BIG problem and it is not your fault.
I hope you can soon forget her and move on with your life; believe me, there are MANY ladies out there who could use the love and understanding of a man of integrity like you.
Keep busy, and God Bless you!
A Lady from Mexico