Hi, I'd love some advice on this scenario, even though I feel like I already know the right answer. My ex-wife and I have been split up for around three and a half years. We're very amicable co-parents of our 7-year-old daughter. This post isn't about either of them.
I've maintained friendly contact with my ex's family and recently got a text from one of my ex's younger cousins (late 20s maybe?) asking if I'd be open to a call to "catch up." This cousin is very much "on the spectrum" with Asperger's syndrome and I think looks to me as something of an ally as I always engaged with his conversation and generally went out of my way to be friendly to him. Along with his issues comes many family difficulties, and he has an extremely rocky relationship with his mother to the point that he has threatened to lash out at her violently in the past. He's currently cycling through a series of short-term leases and is living off disability payments.
His call to me was not about "catching up" at all, as he asked me if I could drive a U-Haul truck for his impending move to New Jersey from North Carolina, as he doesn't have a driver's license. I do not know the details but apparently he's moving in with, or close to, his long-distance girlfriend. I feel horrible saying this, but if this was a request from a "normal" friend or family member I'd be happy to do it, knowing that they would offer to pay me and provide accommodations, meals, and the like for my troubles. As it is, this former cousin can do none of that and, due to his condition, generally doesn't have the ability to consider the needs or wants of others and other social niceties. In addition, his family situation is extremely complicated and I'd rather not get involved in a scenario where I may be seeking reimbursement from someone who can't provide it.
What this comes down to is that I truly and simply do not want to do this for a variety of reasons, related to my duties to my daughter and job and life in general, but there is not one specific thing I can't point to and say "Darn, I'm busy that weekend." I want to help people, particularly a quasi-family member whom I perceive is trying to start with a clean slate, but it feels like a huge ask and my gut feeling is "Don't do it." Am I right in listening to my feelings here, or am I a total jerk?