Invisible,
That is great!
You deserve the golden and beautiful gate. We all do.
We've all caused pain on our life. We all regret doing so. We can feel bad, insecure, and scared for doing so. These things can control us. But only if we let them. Only we can choose to learn from such things and become better people.
You will learn. You will become a better person. You will deserve the golden and beautiful gate.