Radix

I am haunted by the memory of the kiss that I never should have stolen from one who I havent had the time to become friends with let alone intimate enough to kiss. I went to a birthday party of a friend, and a girl that I work with was there. We were both drinking and talking but apart from a long history of very friendly smiles between the two of us, we had nothing together. After sitting and chatting to her for a while I started to feel myself being drawn into her and eventually we were very close together talking and even holding hands. I felt it at the same time that she did, and at the same time as the compulsion to lean in further and kiss her came over me we both broke it off, sat back and looked around as if to see if we had been caught in some crime. She suggessted that we withdraw to another room and we kissed but then others came in and thats where it ended. I called her the next day, just to chat it up a bit, and try to form something coherent about the previous nights activities. Like I said we had been drinking. She knew that we had talked and kissed, an she said that she was glad that we had. Good to hear if you ask me. But its very awkward. Im her boss. Ive talked with MY boss and hes OK with the idea as long as it doesnt interfere with my work, but now it seems that even though she and I have been talking more on the phone since, at work we have gone back to the comfortable smiles but nothing more relationship. Ive always adopted the POV of not mixing work with play, but im just so damn hung up on this girl. My work peer friends are giving me hell over it as she has a kid already from a previous marriage, not that that bothers me, and others of them are giving me hell over it as theres another guy in our dept who had been talking to her prior. One of the employees under my direct control no less. We have a ...i shudder to use the term ...Date set for sunday night. Coffee and sober conversation is my only goal, but I dont know what to do. Im horrible with women have NO intuitive insight and dont know if shes playing this off, or playing along. So far shes been fairly open, and actually complimentative in our conversations on the phone, talking about everything from her son to our past marriages. Ive done the same, even talking to her about my own wife who passed away 3 years ago. A topic that I really try to avoid and dont chat about. With anyone really. I know that im comfortable talking to her, and I think that means something but I just dont know. It feels that the work environment makes her withdrawn and not wanting to talk at all. It might just be that everyone knows about it and has different gossip if you will about what we have actually done, and ill even admit that that makes even ME uncomfortable but still noone is going to say anything about it. OI!! What the hell should I do. Please advise guys an gals. Your insights and intuitions are valuable commodities to me as always. Radix

Wow, sorry for you man, but at least you got the closure. Some of us arent so lucky on getting it.

Oh by the way. The title of this post is incorrect. it SHOULD read "Im only hurting everyone else, but its my fault" Ya little guttersnipe.

Hmm...Well, my opinion is that you are a walking pile of feces. You deserve every bit of pain and heartache that life has to throw at you and I hope that you get it. Too many times ive put my heart on the line only to have it ripped out by spineless, indecisive, fickle little b**ches like you. YOU are whats wrong with the world. Totally unable to dedicate yourself to any one thing, and begrudging everyone else who might actually be able to do so.

A. FIRST and foremost, GET HER OFF OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNT! Next thing you know, you're going to have an empty one. Secondly, if shes leaving you for a married guy shes only doing herself in anyhow.

OK LEMME DO THIS RIGHT SO THAT YOU MIGHT PULL YOUR HEAD FROM OUT OF UR BUNGHOLE AND MAYBE LEARN A THING OR TWO. You said; "hightened awareness that comes from being 'High'" Ok first of all weed does NOT heighten your senses, it simply makes you more aware of things to which you usually dont pay as much attention. I.E. Background noise. "I've studied this 'High' and it has alot to do with the stimulation of neuron cells by the chemical THC (It has a long complicated scientific definiton)" Although weed MAY stimulate a neuron(havent and wont look into that), it slows the Synaptic process of your brain which is the interaction between Neurons and axon terminals that are located in your brain. THUS: Duhh...Ur slower . BTW THC is the acronym for Delta-7 (or 9) Tetra Hyra Canabinol Spelling might be wrong but im not gonna invest too much time into looking it up. Ur a stoner anyway and you most likely would have missed any missspelllingss *Smiles* "Plus the smoking of Marijuana is not exactly completely out-lawed in society, it is accepted that many people (famous & regular) do it daily" This is true. Many prominent members of society smoke weed on a daily basis. Then again many prominent members of society like to bugger little boys in the behind, but you dont see me standing in line to join em. "Unlike Ciggarettes which are much-much-much more dangerous. " ONE joint has as much tar as an ENTIRE pack of full flavor cigarettes. "Marijuana is not addictive, nor have any long term negative side effects been scientifically proven." Weed is not PHYSICALLY addictive. It IS however MENTALLY addictive. "I do believe however that Marijuana is strictly for adults and no one under the influence should operate heavy machinery (LOL)" Prolonged use of marijuana will turn YOU into a Twinkie eating piece of heavy machinery, lol "One argument i will gladly offer to the whole Weed or No Weed war is that, 90% of people who use it do so by 'Smoking' It." Thats because there are so few decent recipes for it that are widely known. it goes great on a salad if you grind it up and it makes cookies that are not so much tasty as they are.."Interesting". "Now it doesn't take rocket scientist to realize that inhaling hot herbal smoke into your lungs is not entirely safe, but its the best way to fully enjoy the experience." Eating it is a much more prolonged euphoric high. Eat an eighth and go to the movies "Marijuana I still believe is all natural, its the dried, crushed leaves of a plant, no nictotine or tars added." Ar*senic, Cyanide and strychnine are also natural with nothing added. They just dont smoke too well. "So where are my Weed Smokers out there? Even if u don't support it lemme hear your views on the subject." Im a weed supporter and a smoker as well. Im just a bit more educated on the topic than you are. Stop giving us a bad name ya hippy.

I got a piece of advice from a buddy of mine who actually followed it himself and here's what he said. "When you find that your best friend is a girl, you marry her". I believed him then and I still do. he followed his own advice and has been happily married for over 5 years. Follow your heart, but dont be lead around by it.

There is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with saying it after one month. But that doesnt mean that is true. Doesnt mean that its not either. Only time will tell, but its a good thing to hold that kind of thing in until you're sure.

If hes being unfaithful to his current GF, he was more than likely unfaithful to you dearheart. Sorry, but thats the nature of the beast. Ur better thaN that, get over him, find someone else, and for the love of god, STOP SLEEPING WITH HIM.

This guy is LEGALLY OBLIGATD to support the baby reguardless of his invlovement with her. Make that known. She is entitled to support from the sate and welfare department reguardless of which one she lives in to some extent. She can also get section 8 or assisted housing from whatever state she lives in until a time that she can afford something on her own. Look into your(her) options and take advantage of state funded programs. Those are your best avenues.

Tell him you think that the two of you should go out and do something sometime. Thats about all ya need ta do. He'll appreciate that. Trust me.

Matt, Its good that you are being open about the way that you feel here on the boards, but honestly my friend, this isnt the place that you need to be honest and open. Maybe you should do this with her. You need to tell her that just because she has a bad day, she shouldnt take it out on you. That you are more than sympathetic to her grief, and that you will be there for her while she goes through it, but that you are not the cause and should not catch the butt of her wraith. Be open and be DIRECT. Maybe even ask her if she loves you. Dont hide behind a facade of happy when ur feelin blue. That will only lead to the demise of ur relationship.

HMMMM..I tend to be a little bit vindictive towards the ones that break up with me. If I had slept in the same bed with one of my ex's friends, id have made sure that the orgasims were better than my ex had ever gotten. Take THAT back to your friend.

Ok Harry, here's what i see from what you are telling me. It can go one of 2 ways. Either one of them should involve your getting your act together and staying sober. theres nothing wrong with drinking every now and then, but theres no excuse for being a drunk. 1.) She doesnt really have anywhere else to go or anyone else to fall back on, and she's working on getting one WHILE she's with you. When she finds someone else, she will drop you flat on your back, and leave you hanging wondering why things didnt work themselves out. 2.) She's hopeful that you will be scared at the prospect of losing her, and pull yourself together. If this is the case, and it sounds like it's what you want so I hope it happens, you have nothing to worry about unless you screw it up. Either way you have a tough decision to make. You either try and work things out and hope thats what she really wants and things end up ok in the end, or you drop her yourself before she has a chance to drop you. There really isnt an easy answer for this one, but if it was only your drinking that brought all of this about, you really have no one to blame but yourself. P.S.- The answer as to how long it takes a woman to make up their minds- They never do, and even if they do, they can change it at any time thereafter without prior notice. G'luck buddy. Stay sober. Radix

Anytime dearheart.