confused79

just wanted to let you know that i feel like i'm in a situation my guy being 32 and me being 24. when i have something more relevent to add i'll post just had to throw that out there.

Well here is my story. How do i convince my boyfriend to let the past go? 5 years ago he was married for 6 months. she wanted to be single again and they broke up/divorced. every since he can't go to weddings and is still very bitter. i want him to be my date to a friends wedding but i can't convince him. i dont' see that he will get over it. i think that his ex has 'won' and permamently scarred him and the possibility of finding happiness in marriage. im just surprised that he can't put it aside and go to the wedding for me. not even the ceremony, just the reception. what do i do?

This seems to be a little crazy confusing topic but I was wondering what all of you thought about 'dating' and 'bf/gf'. Recently I asked this guy that I've been seeing/dating/sexually/emotionally involved with for over 6 months where he saw our relationship. I asked him if we were exclusive and he said that he wasn't dating/sleeping with anyone else bc hes too busy with school/work/etc. He said that I could (no I wasn't getting at that). He said that he doesn't want to have a girlfriend because he doesn't want that to get in the way of getting his degree. We see each other at least once a week and talk a lot on phone/email/im. By no means am I defending him but I guess I could see where he is coming from that a gf would want to see him more and more etc and the unfortunate ex made him struggle with the school and relationship issue. I am falling for him and have been for a while. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. thanks and looking forward to your advice and will correspond more later if you have questions. thx

I haven't even told them that i'm dating him again. first of all how would i do that? thanks for your help you really are helping me feel better, i just need to feel better about the situation. any more suggestions would be greatly appreciated from you and anyone else. thanks

Well I started dating this guy that used to be my ex-roommates ex. From her family and her my friends and family got a bad rap of him and what he was in his past and with her. I was told that he wasn't good for me and that we should just be friends from my mother who met him at a party i was having and then from two of my close girl friends. After a certain time we took a break and tried to figure things out but that didn't last long and now we are back dating. we have a great time together and i think he is a great guy. i just don't know how to tell my family and friends we are dating again bc they think he's just a friend right now. its so hard to not be able to tell them or show them. what would be some how neutral to do it? or what is your thoughts

well i did what wasn't suggested and knew that there was a possibility of him being defensive etc etc. i asked him if he knew what was goin on with her and he's come to notice that she might be interested in him and that he told me nothing is ever going to happen beyond the friendship they share. i don't know how he may deal with her but he knows her better. anyway, as long as he's not interested in her that is find otherwise i was thinking of just jumping ship bc it was just going to get too complicated. anyway, thanks again.

i'm finding myself in many similar situations today on this site. i found my boyfriend or guy i'm dating, we haven't had any talk about that after 6 months. i recently had an urge to look to see if he was still online after how he met his ex, my ex roommate(long story) he was but changed his name and said that he just said it was cheap to leave it on and doesn't really talk to the people, he doesn't have a pic on or anything. in our short couple of weeks break 3 months in i posted mine. i don't use it anymore but just curious if i'd get responses...i guess an ego thing and maybe considering i dont knwo how serious i think he is i was keeping my options open. i'm wondering myself if i should worry about him though. he did find me online though and jokingly sent me messages. and i did cancel my subscription telling him that he didn't need to be on there anyway. i don't know if this helps at all but you're not in this situation alone

i just can't talk to her, i think i'll get my head bitten off for talking to her separate from him. I believe my only hope to from him bc I guess I need to find out where i stand with him, if he believes that we are still dating and that he still likes me. He needs to tell me if he wants something to happen between them and if he wants to date her. I don't know i guess if thats the case then i'm going to have to get out. I don't want to lose him, how silly i feel for loving him. why i ask do i love him and want to be with him? right now i feel so sick to my stomach, shaking and want to throw up and cry. that isn't something i need to feel. we are fine when we are together alone but he seems to get all weird when others are around. except for the saturday night when she was over and a few others. we kissed a lot and i sat on his lap a lot. i thought it was wonderful incase he felt like he didn't like pda's but that showed me otherwise. i just wish i could get things to be better right now, i don't deserve this pain. i need to talk to him now. ugggh

I am going through a rather similar situation with a guy i've been seeing for about six months. its so difficult to read sometimes....some times hes all sweet and the next hes all weird and saying stuff. Heres my situation, we've been dating for 6 months after a weird struggle in the beginning with and ex. we've had a great time and enjoyed each others company. a couple months in he thought i was too emotionally attached at this point and he didn't want to be so we took a short break and got back together. sometimes he says he misses me and wants my company, kisses me etc etc but after a situation last night and some things he said and did made me question whats going on. He got really drunk last night and started boosting his so called ego and kissed several married women in the bar. he said it was nothing but I told him that it made me upset. i'm trying to get a chance to talk to him but he seems to keep avoiding that we need to talk. i also think his best friend wants him since she got upset at me coming over last night after the bar and said to him 'have a nice life, i loved you, and thanks (to me) but i have no idea where that came from. and now occasionally he throws stuff out about 'wanting me' and that p***y has to face etc etc. i know i must sound stupid but what the heck is going on. what the heck is going on, he tells me he likes me and that we are dating. oh geez what do i do? i've fallin in love with what he was a few months ago.

i've only known her as much as him. i can't really talk to her aside from being in his presense or she might not talk to me online. i don't have her number. I don't want to step in between them by talking to them separately but i know it needs to be talked about with him. he tells me today that he really doesn't remember what happened that i stayed or that she did. oh geez whatelse can i say. i guess his ex and her didn't get along either. i did with her in the beginning but things have grown distant. who knows. gotta go into a meeting. hope to hear back from you soon. i'll write more when i hear back from you. i sooo want this to work

Alright. here is the situation as of last night. i met my boyfriend up at bowling where he bowls every tuesday. his best friend meets me up there mostly every time. I started dating him around august and we became good friends too. she came to my bday party etc etc. recently i thought it was just her personality that she didn't talk to me as much. others have said that it is her personality and so did my bf. saturday she came over and i did too. we hung out had fun then met up with some other friends that night. i ended up staying the night and she was going to since she had too much to drink but i think since she noticed that i was she decided to leave and got mad. last night a similar situation happened. we were all watching him bowl, we went to a bar after and she was quiet to me and hugging him like she was tired. well i wanted to talk to him before we left and he told me to meet him at his house. i did, she was there too. she didn't want to come in bc i think i was there. she ended up crying in the family room as we were in the bedroom and i was trying to figure things out. she ended up leaving then coming back and layed in the bed with us. he said not to worry about it as he was falling asleep but what can i do. she said "i loved you" and "have a nice life" and thanks to me. geez whats going on? any suggestions? we've been together for 6 months, took one short break. now i have fallen for him

Well we started this conversation days ago and I brought it up again today online. I told him how I felt but bc we are both at work we both are busy and through instant messanger its hard to talk we will talk about it later. I just want him to know that Valentine's day is important to me, regardless of what he thinks of it. We need to compromise somehow... I just want him to be able to express his feelings to me somehow bc sometimes it is really hard to read how he is feeling about us dating. I am trying to take things slowly with him but I can't help falling in love with him. I think he's starting to feel the same way about me but through Valentine's day I thought he'd be able to show me. I do a lot for him, show him and tell him how much I care for him and I just hope to get the same in return so that I know I'm not wasting my time with him bc I really do hope things can grow and develop a future together. Sometimes I think he thinks about himself too much and not about me in order to protect himself or thinking that he's the only one that has been hurt in past relationships. How to I get him to realize I'm there for him and I'm not in this relationship with him to hurt him? I do love him and thats what makes this little valentine's thing hurt. thanks again for your support and help.

Ok I've been dating this guy for about six months. He isn't really romantic but I really enjoy being around this guy. I feel like I'm falling in love. He did mention over the phone a coupleof weeks ago that he loved me. He hasn't said it since. Recently, I asked him if we would do something for valentines day and he said maybe. Then today he says its a hallmark holiday and that its stupid. An occasional thoughtful gift or flowers or something like that would mean the world to me. I tell him how much he means to me and that it hurts when his says that valentines day is stupid. I think hes still bitter about a marriage that ended after 6 months that happened 5 years ago and how my psycho ex roommate hurt him. I don't know how to help him get over this bitterness and open up to me. He says that he doesn't want to get hurt again and thats why he keeps his distance but its starting to hurt me more and more each time. what do i do? as strange as it may sound, i think i love him

This is terribly confusing. Well I finally got an email from the guy I went on a date with. He wanted to tell me that his life is very busy right now and he doesn't know if he has time for a normal relationship with anyone right now. He does want to go out to dinner with me sometime in the future and that he says he enjoys getting to know me. What the heck? In so many of his emails, he's mentioned things that we can do next etc etc. I know he is very busy with work and I understand that but what can I do. You would not believe it but from the first time we talked and then after meeting there has been a glowing smile on my face. I haven't seen that in a long time with anyone. Is he just too good to be true?

Well here is my story. I recently started emailing/chatting with this guy online through link removed. I was a little hesitant to do this but I was just not meeting quality men at the bar or elsewher. He seemed really nice, we emailed each other for 2 weeks and then he asked me out to dinner. Last night we went out. He picked me up, acted all formal (i think this is how he acts when hes shy/nervous) We went out to a nice restaurant. After the initial nervousness, we talked and talked all night. I know we were both shy/nervous but we (or at least I) felt comfortable. After dinner, he dropped me off at my place. I asked him in and showed him my place just to talk a little further. I asked him to sit but he said that he needed to get home to do some work for work. He says his job is a 24 hr a day job. Anyway, we had so much to talk about/in common. The entired date lasted 2 and a half hours. That made me feel weird because I was hoping that it might last longer. He was much cuter than his photo and I really was attracted to him physically and through talking with him. I would really like to get to know him more. When he was leaving he told me to have a good night. I didn't want to sound persistent but I really wanted to know if we'd go out again. Thats how we left it. That night I saw him online and I told him that I had a wonderful time. He said that he did as well. I told him that I was going to go to bed (because I'm sick) and that we should get together again soon now that we aren't nervous as much. He just said good night. I sent him an ecard this morning, saying the same about having a good time. I asked him what he was doing this weekend or next and that we should go out again. I just thought he was great and couldn't wait to tell him that I was interested. WEll he received the ecard but hasn't responded yet. Hmmmm What do you think? He was always so excite in emails/phone that we should do this and that. Maybe I'm just paranoid and he was busy at work. He has been lately and hasn't emailed me back as quickly as a week ago. What should I do next, I'm going to see if he emails me tonight. uggg. Thanks for your anticipated help.