I am young I know (16) and still a (penatrative) virgin but I have stopped developing physically, and yet while all my friends (some of whom are still growing) are obsessed with sex, I am somewhat... uninterested. I mean sure when a cute girl kisses me I am... thrilled and joyous (one particular girl is on my mind, she was so cool and pretty and the first person who wasn't like way older than me to kiss me... *sigh*) but really its somewhere very low down on my thoughts list. Further more I seem... overly turned on by violence, esp. if its directed at me. When I daydream about me being cut and hurt and just generally abused (usualy while waiting to fall asleep) that really turns me on, knives do aswell big time. But rarely people... well people do, like that girl I mentioned earlyer, and guys sometimes (but guys can be so... they don't seem to get the suspense thing, its like they want to jump right in and there is no challane or interest so its boring and I just don't care for it) but for the most part what turns me on, what makes me want to do sexual things is the idea of getting hurt, and to a lesser extent drawing the blood of my partner. Is that weird? Is that something that I can easily fit into my life. My main problem is I am so... not sexualy confident so I can't get into playing like that (roleplay etc) because I feel embarresed, and silly but I've never really met someone who'd do something like that with me, and I find it hard to talk about what I want anyway (I suppose thats the value of building a close relationship beforehand, you get to talk about these things, but if I wait till I have a close relationship I... well I can't wait that long).
I guess what I am asking is am I bisexual or am I violencesexual, like who doesn't matter, its the situation? Also what should I do, how should I play it?
