Hey Man, all I can say is...people lie. We can only deal with what people tell us. There is more to what's wrong with your wife than what you are seeing or what you've been told.
Ultimately, our happiness depends on us as individuals and our perspectives of life. This problem is two fold. One, we are responsible for our own happiness. Two, others can cause us to be unhappy. If your wife doesn't want to be married. Let her go! Harbor no anamosity or rancor and wish her well.
Trust this, it isn't healthy to be in a marriage to someone who doesn't want to be married. If she won't make love to you, that about say's it all, considering making love is one of the most important bonding experiences a husband & wife can have. It isn't the most important, but one of the most important.
The title of my reply "my several ex's" is for a reason. Each and everyone of my wives were tremendous lovers and passionate in the dating and engagement phase of our relationships. After we were married a while, approximately three years I began to see them for who they really were and not their advocate. They all presented them selves to be mature, hardworking, frugal, loving, understanding and responsible women. Nothing could have been further from the truth.
I will not list their individual faults, but I will tell you how I reacted and every case. With the exception of my current incarcaration. I CHEATED. That was the worse thing I could have done because I became someone I never wanted to be. My Father.
After I came to grips with my behavior pattern, I decided my happiness was within my grasp and under my control and not in my "loins." At that moment I decided I wouldn't depend on anyone else to make me happy or cause me unhappiness. At the same time I will not knowingly cause anyone discomfort. I wouldn't "cheat" anymore because I found myself in an unbearable relationship.
My current marriage is bad for pretty much the same reasons you've described. The only difference is I'm the one who doesn't want to be married. I'm 51and I own a growing business. My wife refuses to work and help the family. I don't know if you've ever owned a business, but there are good months and there are slow months. Need I say more.
The only advice I can give you is to be honest with yourself and be a great father to your kids. Listen to them when they need you to listen and talk to them when they need talking to. Plan for their college and stay in their lives at every opportunity. For the wife. Let her go! Life is to short and don't look for the right wife, Instead, become the right husband for someone else.
I've Been There
