grumbly_bum

Having said it all this it can be really hard if you get depressed about the way you look... Anxiety, depression, low self esteem... You become socially withdrawn, and then it's REALLY hard to make friends, let alone meet a partner.

Hey dude, I know exactly how you feel. As I've found that low self esteem on how I look and how the type of person I am basically snowballs into depression, which will then keep rolling back and making and makes me feel worse about who I am. I've become so withdrawn from people that it's really hard to get out of it... I guess the only bit of luck I've had with being butt ugly, shy, and socially akward is to try and offer people an alternative... Find your strengths, and try to push them really hard. I know it sounds easy, but it isn't. I guess that's why physcologists try and help you retrain the way you think about yourself, so your not instantly putting yourself down straight away, every time... It's hard, but it isn't impossible. There will always be someone out there who finds you attractive, especially if you emphasis your strengths and don't stress over your flaws... Flaws are what make us all unique from each other.

I don't even know what to say to you Tabby. Ya know, reading things like this make me feel so bad for being self obsessed. Here I am self obsessing with how bad my life is and stuff, when there's people that have things just as bad, and if not worse... If it makes you feel any better, my heart is with you, even if it is just for the next few minutes... Chin up hun.

I get this kind of feeling all the time... I've always wanted to try and find something that I can just leap into and make my life, and me, a gazzilion times better. But I never know just what that is, or if I find something I'm too gutless to do it... I've very recently started making very small steps in trying to improve my life... Trying to phase out everything that makes it unenjoyable, and to be more active in the things I do... Just start trying new things, even if it's something your so uncomfortable with that it will kill you. Just do it. Don't worry, I'm not QUITE up to that stage yet, but like I said, if you take small steps, I'm told that with enough confidence built up you can start taking bigger and bigger leaps... Happiness starts within yourself.

Yeah, even the most sweetest, most caring guy is always gonna kinda stuff up and hurting you was probably the last thing he intended by saying that. At least you know he's honest and all, and so long as he doesn't do it ALL the time I wouldn't try and worry too much about it. I can promise you that he thinks your the most beautiful person in the world, and he would pick seeing you over Jennifer Aniston topless any day.

Thanks for the advice guys, I'm slowly but surely getting used to not having this in my life anymore... Chocolady, you're exactly right. In fact, it's amazing how much free time I have to devote to more constructive things other then chatting away on MSN. I guess it's good. Like everything in life, it's always hard, but I guess we usually find a way to prevail...

Sorry, I didn't see your post papalazarou, but that's pretty much exactly what I was trying to imply as well

Like I said it all depends on the person... Quite often it can be a cry out for attention from you, wether they just want to talk, or maybe because they are in fact seeing someone. I think your best bet is to just ask him what's up?

If it's not something that he would do, then maybe, I know it's what I've done in the past (I guess maybe to try and rub it in? I dunno, all us guys are generally jerks But maybe he just remembered your birthday, and wanted to leave you a message to let you know that he does still think of ya sometimes.

I guess the hardest thing sometimes is to see that life can; and will get better. That's where forums like this come in handy.

My dad passed away just on four years from now, and I know I still get teary eyed when I think of some things... And I think that it's possible that you are getting aggrevated at work due to your emotions about your father. Everyone has a different way of expressing it, and it can be hard for others to not understand if you don't talk to them about it... I reckon it sounds like maybe you need a short holiday or something, just to get away from some friends and do something that you'd really enjoy. Just remember, try not to be upset because I'm sure it's the last thing your dad would want.

Don't feel bad about feeling bad either. That's just as bad as feeling bad in the first place! Tongue twister for ya. Of course it's natural to feel bad, but it's pretty obvious to me that you are doing everything you can to make things work out, and that you really love and care about your other half... If I could find a gal who put half that effort in I would be so considerate and feel so loved. I think a lot of people will understand that feeling of helplessness that you're probably feeling right now, but remember that it's all about taking steps, and if you take those steps - no matter how small, you will get there eventually...

I think a lot of people who haven't experienced these types of emotions for themselves think that just because you want to commit suicide, or think about it, that you're going to do it at the first given opportunity. Obviously this isn't always the case, which is a good thing, but there's definetly something there that's making you feel it... Maybe you can't see it, or don't want to admit to it, but something makes you have these feelings pop up at random intervals... I dunno, I guess it's different with everyone as to what the cause may be. It's good that you've at least put the question forward to yourself. I know that just talking about it helps me A LOT. I hope you find away to overcome these feelings jessiecake, suicidial thoughts aren't the most pleasant thing that's for sure.

I guess the sad thing is you're going to have to face that it is a part of life. These things are going to happen in jobs, and in life in general, and there isn't really a lot you can do about it. I don't mean to sound nasty or anything, because I can definetly understand where you're coming from. I don't really have any friends at all at the moment, only "acquaintances" which really isn't the same. So I'm pretty much living my entire life on my own... So I do have some idea how you feel. I guess my best advice for you is to just try and stick it out and think positive. It's only four months of your life, and who knows, maybe you'll become closer with some of the other people in your class. Once you're both graduated you can both move on and then hopefully meet new people, and make new friends. Just make sure you still keep in contact with your friend Best of luck!

Hey people, this is my first night of posting here and I was kinda hoping someone might be generous just to offer me some advice or tips. I guess I feel kinda stoopid posting this, because the whole idea of a "cyber relationship" just seems really immature and stuff. But basically I've kind of just broken up with a girl whom I was having one with, and I'm really struggling to cope with it. I started talking to this gal a good 16 months ago now, and we really hit it off right away. I don't know what it was about her but she really did make me feel special, and I've never had these kind of feelings about anyone. We ended up e-dating after talking for about a month. I was 20 at the time, and she was 16. I guess we pretty much spoke to each other every day, either on MSN or via the telephone. I ran up about two thousand dollars worth of mobile bills talking to her, but I didn't care... I've never been able to hold a conversation on the phone but to her we would go for four hours on a quiet day. Anyway, after being together for around sixteen months talking non stop via MSN, webcam, and the phone, things kinda drifted apart... Despite me trying to convince her to meet me (we live about a 20 hour drive apart), just to see what happens, she always managed to find an excuse to not do it. And despite me trying my hardest to make her feel like I was a part of her life it wasn't really enough. In our time together I've sent her a few letters, a teddy and a card for her birthday, some flowers on Valentines day, and that's about it... So I guess I started to get upset and tell her that, which ended up leading to arguments, which ended up leading to her making out with a guy on my birthday. We were pretty much on and off, arguing and deciding to call things off non stop for the next three months. I really wanted to be with her, but I seriously doubted she felt the same even though she was telling me she did. I know that she's young and that I should know better, but I just couldn't stop how I felt. So about a month ago, she decided to see a guy and tell me by not talking to me until I pestered her to ask if she had met someone. We tried being MSN friends, but that didn't work because I couldn't shut my feelings off for her... But about a week ago I decided she has caused me so much stress, she's made me lose my best friend IRL (she had feelings for me at the time and then WE constantly argued because I guess I was putting my internet girlfriend ahead of everything else...), she's made me cry my eyes out, and it's all basically been for nothing. She's been so two faces to me, telling me one thing, and telling other people another thing. I was depressed, I was upset, I couldn't handle it anymore... So I deleted her mobile number, blocked/deleted her MSN, and closed my myspace page. This is the longest I've gone without talking to her now, I've tried to do this before because we were on/off for so long but every time we both ended up trying to talk to each other and telling each other just how much on the same wavelength we were. Of the few relationships I've been in, I've just never gotten along with someone so well, or been so sexuall attracted to anyone. And I haven't even met her... But now I think it's for good, but I'm having so much trouble just forgetting about her. I think about her 24/7, I was SOOOOOOoo close to sending her flowers and stuff, I even started reading her comments on her friends myspace pages (saying bad things about me too The more I do it, the worse I feel, but I can't stop myself... I guess I just wanted to know what other people have done to try and get over an ex. I guess it's the same thing wether it's online or not, but I'm just feeling so miserable that I just wanna call her, or open up MSN and just give her a big virtual hug Like I said, I feel really immature and stuff but I just can't stop these feelings for her or thinking about her, and it's ruining my life... I dunno what to do... Wow, I just realised how long this post was and that noone will even bother to read it. Oh well, at least I got some steam off my chest