Hayles

I am reading Eclipse, not very original I know but I couldn't help getting into the Twilight saga, it is so beautifully written and rather enchanting!! I am also reading "A great and terrible beauty" an interesting book thus far!

Hehehe, my bf thinks he is really subtle and glances over at girls tying to be discreet - Perving is a natural thing, however, I find it very embarrassing when he does it in front of other people because I sense them (Espec. female friends) thinking "hhmmm, he has a wandering eye" I would rather him perve on someone on the TV than someone real... real is attainable.... lol!!! It does annoy me cause he can't help but keep looking, and then I feel so small and embarrassed in front of the girl he is perving on...

It was the first time I ever said it to a man - my current relationship, and it took me 1.5 years to say it to him!

Wouldn't touching it for that second - just to hurt him be better than allowing him to hurt you any more? I just... I'm hurting that your Mum is allowing him in yur home anyway... Get some deoderant and keep a can of it with you - it's like mace - spray him if he comes near you!

Aha.... thank you very much...

[QUOTE=Hayles;1518080]You need to get the hell out of there as quickly as possible and then do everything Eve said. Sorry Eva - typing too fast and mispelled...

You need to get the hell out of there as quickly as possible and then do everything Eve said.

I think it's like most things... there's this whole process of dealing with it... the anger goes as we come to accept that while what happened was wrong, we need to get passed it and move on the best we can... Staying angry is good for some, but some of us want to put that all behind and just not feel anything that strongly about it any more. Well, I can't speak for everyone, but that's my reason for not being angry any more!

I was not actually responding to your post at all - but to the topic.... But now in response to yours, Each to their own, I choose not to spend time with people who do drugs... I don't do it, I don't want to be around it and that's my choice, as your choice is not to hang out with people who don't do the right thing by thier partners... Over the years though, I have come to realise that what they do in their home, behind closed doors, so long as it does not effect me - is not my business. While ever my friends treat me with respect - and while ever I have things in common with them, I'm there!

We are attracted to certain people for different reasons... before we all settled down to raise families etc. there was ahuge group of us girls that used to go out every weekend to dance up a storm. One of my friends had several casual flings in the balance at one time, one had a bf and was sleeping with his best mate, one used to pick up different guys every weekend, one used to flir her pants off and come off a whole lot more 'outgoing" than the rest and yet never had a one-night stand... I myself have never had a one night stand though I have spent many a night collecting friends from strange men's homes once the deed was done... So, they have all slept with a lot of men, but it's not that part of them that defines our friendships... not at all - it's that they are weet and kind and they have always been there for me, they are fun, we each share some similar interests and all connect on different levels - each attracted to a different part of eachother than the next... I don't think you can always assume that just because someone hangs out with a tart, she will be one...

I have been following this thread for a little while - reading, learning, crying... all the while not sharing my own story - and to be honest - I don't really know why. When I was very small - from the time I was a few months old until I was 6 we lived in this little coldisac, the whole neighbourhood was tight, all our parents were close and we all used to spend time at eachothers' houses - it was your typical cute little suburbia (very upper-class neighbourhood)- a huge park at the end of the street where we would all play. There was this other wealthy family accross the street, I can't remember exactly how many kids they had - but there was at least 6. I can't tell you when it started, or for how long it went on... perhaps the clear memories I do have were the only times - I am unsure... but the 3 eldest children - then about 8, 14 and 17 used to molest me. I think the hardest part of it all has been that the 14 year old is a girl, and something about that just has never sat right with me... it somehow makes it harder than what the boys did. The sickest part was, sometimes they would do it on their own, and sometimes they would all do it together, I remember them locking me in the garden shed, and the boys both pulled thier pants down, and I was crying and so scared, and I think I was about 4 at the time, and they took turns while the others held my body and mouth so I couldn't scream or move. It makes me sick int he stomach to think that they would wipe my tears, give me some chocolates and tell me not to tell anyone or welfare would have to take me away from my family. I lived with my secret until I was 16, when told my Mum. She was hurt, and felt like she had failed as a parent because I had not confessed to her sooner, or come to her then... but I guess I don't need to tell any of you why I chose to keep it to myself... I was even scared of hurting the reputation of our families, our neighbourhood... The thing that breaks my heart now is that by keeping quiet, I have placed many more children in the same position... perhaps I have allowed abuse to continue on within their family... I have to think for 3 of them to be that way - perhaps it all began with someone else?! I have dealt with my own demons, I do not blame myself for what happened to me at all, but I do wish I had told someone earlier, to get those kids the help they needed.

Ahh... I disagree with this... I was only asking yesterday for the opinions of why men don't appraoch attractive girls.... and it is disheartening to a young woman to go home and have had noone approach her in some public setting... everyone needs to feel attractive - don't always assume what you see is what she sees - we only know if we are or are not attractive to the opposite sex by people's reactions to us and comments... if you don't let her know she's hot, chances are - she thinks she's not!!!

I agree with this - of course I can't speak for all women - but it's often the case that what attracts you to a guy like this is usually what causes your break up down the track - like a bad boy... I tend to like someone who reveals themselves slowly - there is a certain sex appeal about those mysterious men... but down the track when you're begging for them to be outward and affectionate and honest - I guess we have to remind ourselves that we picked a guy who never was any of those things!!!! So, they're fun and sexy... but not for the long haul!!

Well, at least it's all about to come together for you... I'm sorry to hear that you have had to go through sooo much before the medical profession will listen, it's always the way though!!! Good luck and we'll all be thinking of you - let us know how you get on when you're home and feeling better, enjoying your special little bundle without worrying about pain!!!

Just keep in mind, after you hae sorted yourself out, if you decide not to go ahead with b/feeding - make sure you talk to the doc. about drying your milk up properly! Oh, and are you using nipple shields with the pump?? Just if you're already tender they may help (you have probably already thought about all this), I also used to use a lanolin cream on my nipples when using the pump as I had to pump every 2 hours when my bub was on the NG tube - the cream really kept them soft and prevented drying and cracking.