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It's quite obvious that you aren't looking for a friendship, but rather you are looking for a way to get back what you had. You said it yourself, that it will never be the same as it was before!! So why even put yourself through more hurt of keeping contact and having a fake friendship. Your friendship stemmed purely from your relationship and there is no way to break the two apart separatley. No contact is hard and it does hurt, but that is exactly what it is suppossed to do. It is supposed to teach you a lesson about who you are and why your relationship didn't work out. This guy doesn't sound like he honestly still wants something......sleeping around and making negative statements about you. Someone who truley wanted you back would not do this but rather do everything in their ability to make you feel special. My suggestion is to forget about him entirley and become the bigger person. It's gonna hurt but like I said, it is suppossed to!! Live your life for yourself and not for someone else. Forget him and find someone who is deserving because he honestly just sounds lonely and wants to keep you around for the moments of boredom. Don't be that person, you're too good for that.

All I can say is....... you can't force/make someone love you. If he is in fact in love with this other girl then you are putting yourself in the postion of being hurt. And your attitude of "it's him or no one" is going to lead you down a lonely path in life. You are 18, you need to experiment and learn what makes you happy... and if you just pass off all other guys, realize you might be passing up mr. right for this guy who is in love with someone else.

I would have to agree with charmed on this one..... the feelings you are having are wonderful, but I don't think that they are "love" People tend to overuse the word love while mistaking it with infactuation or attraction. You will know when you are in love and there will be no question in your mind, as to whether it's love or not. For most to truley love someone you need to have almost an unexplainable connection. You know the person more than you know yourself and you feel like you could trust this person with your life. Love is a great thing but I don't think that you are to the point of love yet. Imagine how you feel now and multiply that by 10 and those are the feelings of love. Just continue to get to know this girl and in time you may fall in love but for now I think it is pure and simple infactuation. Enjoy and Good Luck!!!!

From a girls perspective it seems that this girl has come out of a hurtful relationship in the end, but probably a loving one in the past. Right now she is vulnerable and wants to be loved, due to the lack of emotional attachment she is now recieving. I think that maybe it wasn't the proper time to tell her how you felt, but that is in the past. You did what you felt was right and let her know your true feelings, and there is always going to be a huge risk when divulging your love to someone. My advice would be, if you are able to be a friend again then do it...... but as a friend you can't constantly feel the urge to want more. Honestly, if it is too hard for you to hang around her without feeling overwhelmed and uncomfortable the situation might become more intensified. If you do continue to tell her how you feel about her you will more likley push her away, just know you told her how you feel and she knows..... a constant reminder will break her down. Also note that she did the right thing by telling you that she is still in love with her ex and she didn't push right into a new relationship, because in a way she would be using you to make herself feel better. It is obvious that she has enough respect for you to not put you in the postion of causing you pain. I wouldn't suggest that you wait around for her, in the sense that, you want a relationship. I think that she is going to continue to pursue her ex and if you did get together it would be the rebound relationship. If you can stand to be here friend then do it, but if not don't put yourself through the hurt. Remember you are living "your" life and you did tell her how you feel, now it is time to either wait and see if in time she feels the same..... but honestly it doesn't seem that way to me. Good Luck!!!

I think that since this guy is in love with someone else, that you should stay clear of him. Think if you were the other girl and he was showing affections to someone else while the two of you were together. You need to respect that his is in a relationship with someone else and move away from the situation. This situation is full of complications!!!! Say the 2 of you do get together, how can you be sure that he wouldn't...not cheat persay... but show his affections to someone else? Could you really fully trust him after that, because personally I think that he sounds a little either confused or shady? I think that you do push him away because you have a conscience and you know that when he shows you this affection, you feel guilty because you know he loves someone else.....either that or you are jealous. I think if you continue to pursue this, nothing will come out of it but hurt and I can almost guarantee the person hurting is going to be you. Don't interfere with this relationship, maybe wait it out and see if he comes to you, but do not be the girl to break up a relationship. I mean you are only 18 years old, you have your whole life to live and you will probably go through a couple more heartbreaks in your life, but personally I don't think this guy is someone you want to waste your love on.

As faeriechyld did give good advice, I tend to disagree with the stance. It seems that you do have issues with your current b/f, but their is always going to be hards times especially when you are in a long relationship. It sounds like you have given your b/f a tremendous amount of support and I think that you have been more than giving. I think that you need to communicate with your b/f on how you feel on the whole issue, and if he does get attitude tell him that it is draining you. If he isn't willing to work things out with you, then I think that the 2 of you maybe should take a break from each other. As for seeking love with the other guy (and this is where I disagree with faeriechyld), absolutley do not just jump into a new relationship. First off you will completely break all trust with your current b/f. Secondly, all relationships seem so perfect in the beginning but they all have hard times. If you do break up with your b/f, then I think that you need to take time out for yourself as well and decide what is right in your life. This other guy would be the "rebound guy", the person to take the place of the emotional void you would be lacking without your b/f. The only way that you can really learn and fully recover from a broken relationship is to grieve a little, because if you don't it will come back to haunt you eventually. Also, I don't think that it would be fair to the new guy, because you know that you would still have strong feelings for your ex and you wouldn't be able to give your total self to him. With that lacking, it wouldn't be fair to put him in the position of being hurt. I think that you really need to sit and decide what is best for you with or without your b/f. I do feel that you have very strong feelings for your b/f and once you do let him go, I think you will feel like you made the biggest mistake of your life. He will feel betrayed, especially if you go for this other guy, and you stand the chance of losing him forever. You need to think about this before making any rash descions, but at least give your b/f the chance to explain and you as well. The worst relationships can last through anything as long as there is communication!!!

Because you are obviously not over your ex and I think being with the new girl is wrong in so many aspects. You are in love with someone else so in turn you are using this other girl, which is a very selfish thing to do. You shouldn't have lied to your ex about being with this new girl, really what was the point? You aren't together anymore!!! I think that you are only with this new girl to fill the emotional void that you were lacking when your ex and you broke up. I think maybe you need time to yourself to analyze your life and realize what makes you happy, but instead you are just doing the replacement game. Is this new girl really making you happy? I don't think soo, seeing that you are still focusing on how your ex feels. My advice would be to not be with anyone. Do what makes you feel happy and stop trying to fix or diminish your pain by finding someone new. Think about yourself!!!!

It seems to me that you are more occupied in wanting to hang out with your ex. Am I correct in stating this? The reasoning why you don't have fun going out with your friends is because you haven't completely let go of the notion that you and your ex have broken up. Once you accept that fact then you will be ready to conquer the party seen again with open arms. Trust me!!!!! Just give it time.

Has she been very atheltic her whole life or is she possibly anorexic. These are some reasons why people don't have their menstral cycle tell after they let there body hit the point of puberty. even with some gymnast they have late periods because they put so much physical exersion on their body, but I definitley agree that she should see a doctor ASAP.

You have made it this long with no contact, and I think that you should continue on that path. Why put yourself in the position to be hurt again. I mean if you broke up, there was a reason for that, and you are probably not going to hear what you want to hear. I say just let it go, and if your ex comes back to you, then try to work something out, only if you want to.... but don't let yourself get hurt if it's avoidable.

Be yourself and dress how you want!!! Don't conform to societal standards because if you find a guy by acting in a way which isn't you, then you are not being truthful. If a guy is not going to accept you because your nails are too long or your dress isn't satisfactory, then he isn't worth your time anyways. Do what makes you feel comfortable and you will find a man that accepts you for you!!!!!

What are your reasons for going your separate way? I think that you need to make a pro and con list and decide if one outweighs the other. After being with someone for 2 years you are definitely going to have feelings no matter what...... but make sure if you decide to leave to stick with it. Because after you break up you will feel like you have made the biggest mistake of your life. Honeslty, I was hurt in a relationship and did not want to end things, but I think that if you are having these feelings of doubt you definitely need at least a break to figure your life out. It wouldn't be fair to either of you to stay in a relationship that you are unsure of. I think that you are confused about life and need to figure some stuff out, and it would probably be best to end things and find yourself. But that is just my opinion on the issue

It's not an issue between gender but rather the type of personality and emotional level. I am female and it takes me longer than most of my male friends to get over a relationship gone wrong. I mean I could easily say, why is it so easy for males to find a new g/f, but that is not the case. It depends on the person!!! But after a year I don't think that you are allowing yourself to accept the fact that the relationship is over. I mean you will hit the point where you realize that your ex and you probably aren't getting back together and from then you will be ready to meet someone new. You just need to focus on yourself and do what makes you feel good, be selfish. Open yourself up and allow yourself to endulge in the world around you, even if you are afraid of getting hurt again......because if you don't, you will never be truley happy with yourself. And honestly that should be the most important goal in your life, to be happy with yourself. It takes time for everyone and everyone has there own way of dealing with things.

You need to realize that your ex is not that perfect individual that you condidered him to be. Everyone has thier faults and with him he must have realized that contining a relationship was probably not the proper thing to do anymore. If your ex does not have the strong emotional attachment that he once did, it wouldn't be right of him to stay in the relationship........ and as much as it hurts, he did the right thing. It's better that he let go earlier rather than dragging the relationship on longer and allowing you to get more attached. It just comes down to the fact that you can't force someone to love you, and with that you need to stop wondering why and just let go. You keep asking questions like Why or How, but really I think you know the answers to all your questions. No answer can justify why he left or how he could do this to you. The answer is plain and simple, he had doubts about the relationship (and from your post it seems like you did as well), and once there are doubts a relationship becomes weak and very capable of falling apart. I'm sorry to sound harsh but I want you to see the reality of the situtation, rather than try to get answers that will suffice for your ex's wrongs. He isn't the one for you and now it's time to move on and find the person who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated

Like I said, I think that if you had doubts you should have gotten out of the relationship when you felt that way.......but you didn't so there is nothing you can do now. I mean what's done is done.... but hopefully this will be a learning experience for you. I in no way think that you are a jerk, I think that you were just confused and maybe a little immature. Now your ex on the other hand could probably think of some worse words than jerk But really just think about your actions in the future and try not to be soo selfish. I mean it took you a little too long but what you did was right, in letting her go..... and when you conitnued having sex, I think in your mind you thought that would help you fall in love again. I honestly don't think what you did was intentional, I just think that you were confused and trying to figure out if you could fix things in the relationship. But Communication is the key to all relationships and it sounds like your last one had a huge lacking. As far as seeing someone else, that is entirley up to you. There is not "right" or "wrong" time in which you start seeing someone else, but I think that if you find someone right away that they are probably just a rebound to help you get over you last relationship. You really need to think about if you are with this person because you truley see something special or if it is to ease the loneliness and pain. In my opinion I think that this girl is probably a rebound.... but who knows. My advice would be to take time off from girls and really find who you are. Can you lead a life without someone else there or are you just too dependent on someone else? It's a question of independence and whether you are happy with your life.