secretdarkness

Just started reading the first couple of pages of this thread.... Absolutely Phenomenal Discussion !!! I wish someone had given me this, "In-Your-Face" Advice years ago !!! Well Done DragonGirl 724 !!!

This is tremendous Advice.... not only in ending a relationship, but in life in general as well. Forgiveness is a powerful stance to take in the face of conflict. This is a great tool for healing, thanks for those good words.

An ex gf of mine, (not the one I've been rambling on about in this forum), once "Burned & Slashed" my favorite Leather Jacket... she then sent it back to me in the mail. I was pissed about the jacket, sure.... but I also got satisfaction knowing that she really was struggling to "get-over-me"! (My Dad still laughs to this day... he said, "Boy you must'a really done something Bad"). I do like the prank that you pulled, but be careful about the messages you send.

(By nature I'm not real sympathetic to the Dumper in the relationship.) She is obviously texting & e-mailing you because you broke her heart. Trust me, be very careful what you do here, she is a lot more fragile than you might think right now. Try to act like a gentleman, take the high road if possible.

You will survive this period. When you least expect it a new girl will completely take your mind off the ex. This new chick will be so hot & cool, you will want to show her off in front of the ex. Your future girl friend will laugh at all your jokes & always get your back! This future girlfriend needs to meet you at your best. Be confident in who you are as an individual. The ex doesn't define you. What defines you is the way you react to this torment. It is a great challenge to pick up the pieces and move on, but I know you can do it. Thousands of people on this forum can relate, and are now in your corner. Start creating the new girl in your mind, I guarantee she is out there... GO GET HER !!!! Peace... Good Luck!!!!

Hey Cyprian,-- Great question & thread topic. (Check out my story in the ex-bf/gf relationships Forum: still crushed 12 years later.....) Boy oh boy is this a huge thing in a breakup. I have replayed my last conversation with the ex millions and millions of times in my mind. I was so destroyed after the relationship disintegrated... I needed to see her one last time before I moved away (with my new gf (and future/present wife)). So I set up a meeting at a bar/restaurant we used to go to. Uncharacteristicly of me, I really tore into my ex that day. (I always treated her like Gold)... I purposely met her in a public place so as not to have the situation Blow-Up. My words were carefully chosen and delivered to truly express my disappointment and spite. It was like a true role reversal for us. I definitely planned mine out ahead of time. I had a clear and present message for her. My pain turned to Anger that day. I was "Fired-Up" and vengeful, while she was emotional & confused. I started NC right after that moment, literally disappearing into thin-air the next day. Out of her life, forever and completely! 12 years later, I remember that day so vividly... I think about it in the middle of the night all the time, still.... very haunting. I'm glad I had the opportunity to do this. I never could have moved on without that last conversation. I was happy with the way I expressed myself, it felt good to get-in-her-face alittle. She needed to be put in her place finally, she had treated me pretty badly toward the end... but I always loved her so much and I wanted it to work so badly that I never really cut into her like that. It was hard to do, but something I had to do! I say plan ahead, and really get to the heart of the matter. Tell'em the truth! Good Luck !

Don't do what I did. Try to move on completely... bring complete closure, or you may be haunted.

I enjoyed your story. My advice is simple... Keep dating and having fun. Plenty of time to get serious and settle down later. Keep working on finding that balance/mix. As you get older your needs may change. Good Luck!

Hey agualibre,-- What is the deal with dating these days? It seems like it has turned more into a "Game" than ever before... when I was out there dating back in the day, sure the same stuff was going on, but it seems to have greatly increased now. Everything is a "Power-Play", like who can "Get-Over-On" who in the most controversial way. I think you did the right thing by saying something like you did!!! Let the new chick realize she is with a Player' who is only trying to add her to his score-card. BTW, Great Job with the Yoga Class... I dont practice anymore, but it is one of my new years resolutions. When done regulary, it is "Life-Altering". I like your story.