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lifestream

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About lifestream

  • Birthday 05/14/1987

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  1. Everything obviously matters to the individual. But I'm confident that women will overlook certain physical shortcomings if the guy has the chemistry she's been looking for.
  2. If you can't talk to him about this then I really think you should start. This is peanuts compared to REAL relationship issues.
  3. I don't understand why people need to figure other people out to a T. He's shy, who cares why. That's how he is. I don't think there's anything wrong with his behaviour, he just might be intimidated from such a nice/gorgeous girl.
  4. I'm really finding that there's a lot of "one size fits all" advice being floated around. I think for the most part it really doesn't do justice to the situation. What's the point of him messaging you? If you're both miserable without each other then why not take a shot in the dark? Not on your b-day of course, but a week after asking how he's doing or something. Do you want to take it slow and get back together?
  5. dude, you're so young. There were VERY few girls worth dating in high school to be honest. Keep your chin up, be confident and positive. Someone will come along.
  6. I have to say it is for both sexes! There's no flashing sign that says "Single, Intelligent, Fulfilling, Captivating. NO MONEY DOWN!" I dislike this polarized debate. I'm a multi-faceted person. I don't want to be slotted in 1 or 2, this or that, one or the other. It's ridiculous! Being nice doesn't entail being a doormat and a spineless wussy! Being nice doesn't mean you agree with everything your SO says! Since when did needy mean nice? You can be nice and outgoing. You can be nice and still enjoy making fun of someone. You can be nice and still stand up for yourself. You can be nice and still be a physically fit, sports fan! Lance Armstrong doesn't come off as a jerk, does he?! But niceness or masculine (or feminine) features aren't something that can make a relationship solely. Human chemistry, like in science, requires all sorts of different components and reactions between two people before you can create something special. And most of this lies within someone's personality. Of course physical attraction matters, but spiritual bonding and attraction, I really do believe, trump a lot of what physical attraction brings to the table.
  7. sympathetic about what? Forget MSN. Hang out together. Do things one on one. Develop chemistry just the two of you. Forget other people, they just get in the way. MSN is a crappy communication TOOL. That's all it is, a tool. It's not a measuring stick for a relationship. Besides, it's so easy to manipulate what you write into having it come off any way you want it to. Plus just because he didn't meet your "expectations" today doesn't mean he doesn't like you. He could've had a bad day or something, was busy with something else. You are not his only priority. Take the bull by the horns, girl. Hang out alone, develop more chemistry and see where it takes you.
  8. I don't agree with your additions whole-heartedly. Firstly, I don't believe the request for space necessarily means a person wants out of the relationship. I believe in many cases people who want space feel smothered in the relationship they're in. Smothering, for myself at least, is a type of love, but it's toxic. There's a hint of insecurity and obsessiveness. So when someone wants space, it doesn't mean they don't CARE. It means they feel something in the relationship needs to grow and change. Space can be healthy and time apart is just as important as time together. Secondly, yeah I believe if it is a chronic thing where one partner buys food (or whatever) only THEY happen to like then there's a problem. But if it happens a couple times and the partner doesn't know that you don't particularly like their favorite food then there's a problem too. One partner shouldn't have the expectation of their partner to know everything or do everything they want. Complete altruism is impossible. Thirdly, I think if someone's had a hard day at work, there's no problem with throwing the clothes on the bed, as long as they clean it up after they've had some time to rest from coming home. There's a million different ways to interpret these. On the base level they work but when you add your own personal "fact" it is based again on opinion. And I think these questions are hypothetical. I think it's more along the lines if one partner fails to talk constructively to the other partner about certain issues yet still gets irritated by them. But I agree with the rest...I think letting go of an argument prematurely doesn't help things either as the issue never truly gets resolved. Then again some issues really aren't issues in the first place...
  9. So what you're 18? What's the purpose of dating? For a temporary good time? If that's all it is, don't get tied down, don't date one girl. I don't want to sound like a * * * * * or like a know it all, but even at a young age I think the main goal in a relationship is to make it last. You shouldn't concern yourself with marriage, but being in an exclusive relationship is about sharing mutual love, and if it makes it to marriage then what's the problem in that? If you're worried you're too young, then do her a favor and let her go and don't tie yourself down, and have some fun. When you're done with that then you can get back into committed relationships. That's my own personal view, though.
  10. If he likes you, he won't care that you can't play football. For godssakes, you're practically best friends!! I remember the feeling of being in love with my best friend and I didn't care how bad she was at something, the fact that we were doing something together transcended that. She couldn't play tennis, but I had fun trying to teach her. I thought it was cute when she'd miss the ball. Maybe he will feel the same way. Personally I find show offs boring... But anyway, GO FOR IT! How will you feel when he DOES start dating someone else? Pretty crappy, I would think. Then you'll kick yourself for not getting the courage to even ask. Don't ask him outright. Do things together, get that chemistry going and see what happens when you're alone. If there's clear chemistry maybe you can hint that he can give you a kiss for such a lovely evening, something like that, but don't tell him outright. Lure him in a little first and see where it goes. Don't let this slip. The risk is completely worth it. I went through it, and although the ex and I aren't "friends" per se anymore, we can't deny that the time when we were dating was one of the greatest feelings either of us had felt in our young lives, and it was worth it in the end.
  11. I received an email recently on a newsletter group that I'm with. It deals with relationship advice and how to maintain love. I opened it this morning and thought I'd share this advice with everyone. Don't add your own opinions to facts, distorting them. Fact: Your wife asks for more space and freedom from you. Opinion: She does not care about our relationship anymore. Fact: Your boyfriend orders the food he likes. Opinion: He never thinks of what I would like to eat today. Fact: Your husband throws his clothes onto the bed after work. Opinion: He does this to purposely irritate me. You kick up a fuss. Most likely other unrelated stuff will be brought in and a storm will begin. Ask yourself, are you reacting to your own opinions? Train youself to always possess a feeling of constructive influencing of your partner through your own personality instead. Many people do feel themselves as incapable of resolving a fight with their partner. So what do they do? They continue to fight, and they continue to quarrel. Just remind yourself that 2 people can look at the same thing differently. If you catch yourself arguing for something not important at all, decide to walk away from it at once! Decide that it is just not worth it to spoil a wonderful relationship over a minor issue. Remember, being in a relationship is not "never fight with my boyfriend", nor is it "never argue with my wife". It's how quickly you can snap out of arguments that aren't constructive. I find this to be extremely true. We work ourselves up over things that are usually nothing. I understand at times people need to be defensive, but I feel that this is unfounded, and being defensive just leads to further pushing and pulling, which really don't help the relationship. Thoughts?
  12. Are you able to confide in your parents? Do you feel they love you wholeheartedly? Have they ever had "the talk" with you? I remember growing up my parents would tell me thing like "we love you no matter who you are, because you are our son." We had the gay talk and everything. It was a bit easier because I have a homosexual relative whom I look up to greatly. I have a friend who came out to his parents, and it was weird at first but his parents have gotten over the shock.
  13. For some reason I always thought of that as kind of intruding...I mean, people are at the library to study for the midterm they should've studied for last weekend, not to socialize. Then again this is coming from a guy who WORKS at the school library
  14. No. I'm saying he might know you're interested and he's interested but he's too shy/afraid to know what to do next or how to reply to you.
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