naiveme

Hi, at what point does dating become more of a relationship, or does it really matter what it is? Is it necessary to ask someone to be your girlfriend? Background here. Been seeing a girl for couple of months now, in contact by text/phone/email everyday for this time. Meet up once a week at least. Last few occasions things have been intimate. Is this still termed dating, or would you say it has moved on from this?

Hi, Boy (me) likes girl. Wants to ask her out. But it is not so easy. Met each other a few times and had fun, speaking/texting every day as well for over a month now. Last night she got drunk sent text message to me asking to meet up later in weekend and that she quite liked me (don't know how much she had had to drink at that point) Then it seems she got really drunk and went back to a guys place and slept in his bed (fully clothed she assures me) after going in for a cup of tea. She broke up with long term boyfriend about 3/4 months ago. She has also said that I am probably just what she needs (a calming influence) and she is quite regularly out at nights drinking away with friends and says she can be a bit too 'wild'. So question is should I ask her out or ask her where I stand? I like this girl but do not know what to do. It is really doing my head in ](*,)

Hi there, Sorry this is another post by me - getting addicted to this place and advice that is offered. Met up with this girl (we are both in mid 20s) 3 times since she contacted me on an online dating site. And we have also chatted online and texted for a month as well. Due to meet her again this weekend. Although have a little dilemma - I am looking to move to a new area (where she stays and works and also where I work) and am looking to get a flat but need someone to share with. She is staying in basic accommodation just a bedroom and shared facilities and has said that she needs her own space but again she cannot afford a place of her own. Now should I ask her if she would consider being flatmates or not? We are not dating at the moment but do get on well. I would not mind something more developing but at this stage it is too early to say that it would definitely happen. Would it work if we shared a place and then we found we liked each other more than friends would it create problems? Or would it really create problems if we really started to see each other but then decided to get back together? Or would it create problems effectively living together (although with separate bedrooms and all) and then getting to know each other better? And how would you react if someone asked you if you would consider sharing a flat with them when you have been seeing each other. Thanks if you can offer any advice.

Hi there, This girl (25) contacted me through an online dating site, i'm around same age but really inexperienced when it comes to girls. We talked a while via email, msn and texting. We then met up for a coffee last week - spent a couple of hours chatting and it was good. Then at the weekend I took her on a tour of my home town - she mentioned during first coffee that she would like to see more of town so I volunteered to show her around and we spent a day doing that. Yesterday I asked her around to watch a film and tv and she did come around and we spent 3 hours just chatting and watching tv (she was a little tipsy at first as she had been for drinks after work but nothing serious) and it was good again. I then ran her home and suggested we do it again sometime and she did not say no but kind of suggested a movie this weekend (although I had mentioned that I had seen it but told her that yes that may be good). So now the dilemma!!! Do I follow up on this film idea (would probably be Sunday night) and if so do I ask her if this is a 'proper' date in a light way and making no big deal of it just to see her reaction to it. Or do I just go along with 3 previous meetings which have been more friendship based? I am no use at gauging body language. What I do not want to do is give the impression that I am only interested in being friends when she wants something more. I do like this girl and like being with her whether that be as a friend or more. And yes I know I have only been in contact with her for a month but got a good understanding of her. So any advice greatly appreciated

Ok update on the situation. She came for the tour on the Sunday and it was fine, even had lunch at my folks house. We seemed to get on ok. But I have done it again!!!!!!!!!! On Monday (the day after the tour I texted her to see if she wanted to meet up some night this week) She texted back saying what days would I be staying in her town. I said Monday, poss Tues and Wed. She text back saying she had no fixed plans as such and what did I have in mind. So I text back saying a coffee or a drink, or she could come around and watch a film. Next text back from her says she has stuff to do that she has been putting off for days. My reaction ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH Done it again. I should never have suggested watching film. God only knows what she thinks of me. So I sent a text back saying sorry text may be misunderstood and should never have suggested meeting so soon and that it was just because I was in the area at the time for a few nights thought it would be a good opportunity. She did text back saying she really did have stuff to do washing etc (which certainly makes sense) and it was ok and maybe meet some other night. Is this situation irretrievable can I do anything to repair the damage? I have not sent her any text back yet. Not sure at all what to do

Hi, Bit of background here. I'm a guy in my mid 20s still living with parents but drive 1.5 hours to work every day and the same back - 3 hours in total. Now I can see this having an affect on my life as I can often be quite tired all the time. But there are other issues. I am pretty sure I need to make the break and move closer to work and rent my own place. But I am not finding it that simple to do. I cannot understand why because I do not even go out when I am at home, and have no friends in my home town. I just come home from work and stay at home all the time - weekend is the same - all day at home. All the friends I do have are online and live nowhere near me. My only concern really I suppose is leaving parents as they are my only physical and emotional connection with my town. Basically I suppose all I am looking for is advice on making this break and living alone (I do not think sharing is an option as I do know anyone and I could only live with someone I got on with). I see it as a big step and just need some kind of reassurance it will work. Generally I am not happy with life because I do not have close by friends either. There is no real hope of developing genuine friendships with people in my town (it is a small area and I do not really fit in and kind of out of the loop so to speak). It may be possible to develop friends in a new area but I am kind of concerned I will just turn into a hermit in a new town (but without parents so be totally alone). I do not know if I have the confidence or self esteem to go out and make that friends. I am not really sure. If I did start to make friends at least I would have a place of my own to invite friends to - share a few drinks and catch a movie, watch the sport etc which I cannot do at parents. Does anyone have any tips advice on making the break and living alone for the first time? Or more specifically on my 'issues' in relation to it? Thanks very much for reading this and any advice/input is greatly appreciated.

ok yeah i am useless in reading things. Well read far too much into single comments and tear myself up going in circles. It is kind of difficult to explain but the text and chat before meeting has kind of been light and not too serious. More like joking around, hence the disturbed text. I did not think it was too odd based on the context. Can I read anything into the fact that she is still replying and sending text messages? Ok I offered to show her to show her around my area this weekend and she was to get in touch if she was free. She seemed keen-ish to do this (new to area and all that) so I guess will see if she gets in touch. If not is it too soon to ask to meet up again next week?

Well, I have given her the option to get in touch if she wants to meet up again but did not give a time or anything, but she kind of said that would be good but kind of in a jokey/not too serious way. It was not a definite yes lets meet again. I did not ask her outright if she wanted to meet up though. She is also new to the area if that makes any difference, and that is part of the reason I thought she may be on the dating site as it is a way of meeting people. Do you think it would not be worth pursuing a friendship only then? If she does meet me again is it wise to ask straight out if she likes me?

Hi, thanks for the reply. We have already met. We met for a drink earlier this week and chatted for a good couple of hours and I felt really comfortable with her like she could be a good friend but the thing I struggle with is that I don't know what she thought of me. For all I know she may think I am an * * * *! Sent a few light texts to her asking her if she was not to disturbed by me, and that she seems a nice girl. What I really wanted from these texts was one back just giving a clue as to whether she thought she might like to meet again or if she did not find me too bad company. But the texts she sent back did not tell me this. I guess looking at it I am looking for some kind of acceptance. Silly I know but I have never made friends with anyone for ages, and don't know how it really works!!! And yes you are right I must learn from mistakes! The girl in question is now hooked up with another guy that is totally different in make-up to me and I kind of think that if she likes him then I maybe me and her would never have had anything in common anyway.

Hi there, sorry this may just turn into a ramble but i do not know what to do, i just feel emotionally sick, and been in the same situation before. I am a guy in my mid 20s and am looking to make friends with girls first and foremost and if anything further develops then all the better. But can't get to that final stage without making the friends though. At present the only friends I have are online friends. Now about six months ago I started email dialogue with someone in the same area as me. I am a bit shy and never spoke to her in person but through email we chatted, then we agreed to go for a walk together. Now the walk was fine if a bit nervous like. But it is the bit afterwards that is the problem. I had strange feelings and wanted to meet her again. So kind of sent a few emails and that, and basically said I liked her and would like to know her better. Basically all this fell on deaf ears and I was torn up inside (I could not work out why I turned like this but I did ... I know it is not normal). So basically I blew everything when in reality all I wanted was a chance to become friends but my emails just scared her off and she would not listen or speak to me. Don't blame her. Fast forward to now. Met this girl earlier this week for first time. She found my details on online dating site and we chatted online and texted and as I say met earlier this week. Now I can feel me having these samish feelings as before (thankfully no emails sent!!!) But I would like to go about asking her to meet again or see what she thinks of me. Is it all wrong to ask at this stage what she thinks of me. Is it too soon to think about asking her to meet me again. Don't want to appear desperate to make friends. God I am useless at these things. It really cuts me up not knowing where I stand - struggle eating and sleeping. And all that after just meeting a girl once. Sorry for boring you but one confused guy here!! Can't even make friends without tearing himself up and thinking far too much.

Yeah I think I fall into the shy guy category and have decided that this is the year I need to do something about it, get out and be seen and start dating and socialising with girls. Hopefully it will happen, I am fed up being lonely and on my own on so many occasions! Generally quite happy with my life most of the time but need and want to get out more and so far in my life I have shyed away from this.

hi there, first of all i am quite shy (23 years old) but not too extreme proportions but it is certainly evident. The thing is this girl contacted me after seeing my profile on a dating site. She is new to the area. We have chatted online and with text messages and also one phone conversation. She is currently away on holiday but is back in just over a week. I can't remember how or who suggested it but we are going to meet up when she gets back. Now how should I play this. I am not too bothered whether just a usual friendship or anything more develops. So I was just thinking a casual drink after work or something but don't want to come accross as not really being interested in her. From what I know she seems very nice. Also any general advice for the actual 'date' any dos and donts. The last few times I have met girls it has just been a few drinks in areas that I do not live and really only friendship was all that would ever happen. This time may be different though. Any advice appreciated.

Thanks for reply it is just around certain girls I like and not every girl. Also get a boner at the same time. Just find it kind of emarrassing and did not know if it was normal or not.

Hi, Sorry if this post is not in the right place. What I am wondering is it normal to cum in your pants when you are just out with a girl and not kissing or touching or anything. It is not the amount of cum when I masturbate but certainly significant. Is this weird - it feels weird to me and is embarrassing. By the way I am not very experienced at all when it comes to girls. Thanks.