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Hey Everyone, Thanks for the replies, its great to find a support group that helps affirm my decision... I'm sure our relationship is salvagable... up until the time it happens again. And yes, I'm sure its probably my fault. We have a couple of fundamental differences in our relationship that I think are the problem areas... For one, she is 20, I'm 28. I know age is the seperating factor, its where we are at in our lives. Which leads into the next thing, I am very focused on my career right now, she still doesn't know what she wants out of life. I try and support her, but she never understands the need for me to work 14-16 hours a day. And most importantly, she feels like when she gets mad and tells me why (which takes a couple of hours of coaxing, which gets me all worked up) she says I discount her feelings and blow them off like there no big deal. This has never been a problem in prior relationships, and I really try to listen and be understanding, but I think we are just incompatible. We are both Aries! I know that if I see her face to face, I will try to reconcile our relationship. I do love her immensly. It just hurts me to see her in pain, and I'm not. It's not fair. Thanks again!!!!

Hi, been going out with my (ex) girlfriend for about 8 months. the last couple of months its been tough, and although I know we both love each other a lot, I know we are not compatible. We got into a huge fight on New Years Eve on a way to a party. Needless to say it was one of the worst night's ever. She broke up, and left me the following morning. The sad thing is she's devastated, hasn't been out of bed since she broke up with me. It kills me to see her so unhappy. I really do love her and just want her to be happy, but I know she will be better off without me. I don't want to be a jerk, and I'm trying to be there for her... she calls me all the time. I know she just wants me to get her back, but I can't do it this time. I'm afraid its a vicious cirlce that is repeating itself. I know I have to be the strong one, but its so hard when she is so crushed. I'm afraid NC is the only answer, but I want her to be ok. Any advice?

Thanks for the feedback. People here are such a positive inspiration to me and continually give me hope in so many ways. neva_black_n_white - I actually was saying that relating, to the girl this poem was about, the love was one-sided. Interesting that you picked up on that. All the best!!!

This is one of my first poems... any feedback/critique is welcome and appreciated. Realization Open eyes from the dark surround Awakened by realization, facing facts Truth tells no lies, hands unbound With deep sadness heart reacts Look into my eyes, say its not so Things once said mean nothing Having put faith in a persons soul But faith is lost by lack of trusting Trust existed upon that first glance But slowly it disappears from sight Only wanted to give this a chance But time proved it wasn't right Believe in love, a chance to take A battle much to often lost Though to much was at stake And payed the ultimate cost Lost love and friend, not in the plan Not even a fleeting thought Plan was to be eternally friends But now, my heart is left to rot

Thanks for the enouraging words and support.

Hi, Well as if the road couldn't get any rockier in my life and relationships my new girlfriend was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease last week. For those of you who don't know, Crohn's is a disease that affects the digestrive track and is uncurable, although not typically life threatening. Symptoms can vary greatly and she will probably have to have many surgeries over the course of her life, periods of extreme pain, some long hospital stays, and periods of remission wehre everything will be good. She is taking it pretty rough, as to be expected. I want to be there for her, and will continue to do so, but right now, she is pushing me away, and it hurts. I understand this and respect it. I feel so helpless and I dont know what to do. I've never experienced anything like this before in my life and I'm not sure how best to support her. Her attitude is somewhat self-destructive right now, and I can't judge this because I can't even begin to fathom what she is having to deal with emotionally. Unfortunately, her attitude is that she doesn't want to take medication, or change her lifestyle and her eating habits to control it. She says she would rather die young than deal with a life full of hell. I want to encourage her to do the right thing because the road will be alot rougher if she doesn't and CD can be somewhat manigble with some lifestyle changes. I guess I need to give her space and let her make her own decisions, but I love her so much I just want to see her happy again. I told her today that we can get through this together, but she says she has to do it on her own. I am calling on anyone that has experienced anything similar to help me cope and maybe give her some encouraging words. Thanks in advance.

Thanks once again everyone. For me it isn't the grand gestures or flowers or anything materialistic, which everyone has said, and knows, really doesn't amount to anything in the grand scheme of things. I guess my thought was moreso along the lines of what kind of things this guy might be saying or doing that makes her feel that way. I am a pretty emotional guy, and think I am really good with catching all the little things. She knows how special she is to me, we have a great line of communication for the most part. I think partly I have held back a little because we were friends first and I never approached it typically how I would someone that I am just dating, which I'm sure he is. For me a friendship and a solid bond is way more important than gifts and flowers. Don't get me wrong, I love showering people with affection be it tangible or emotional, but everything has its place. Thanks, this place is great!!!

Wow... Not really the responses I was expecting, Never really thought about it from that side, and I greatly appreciate your feedback. Our relationship is quite a bit deeper than I let on in my first post, we are and have been best friends for about 8 months, and dating is something we started very recently. I only know about the other guy because she was dating him before we decided to take our relationship to the next level. As for her friend, he hates this other guy and is a pretty good friend of mine too, he was just giving me information as to her thought process of giving up everyone else to be with me, which she has done. It's not a matter of me trying to out-do someone else. I am very confident and comfortable with myself and how I treat a girl and how I have handled this relationship, I was just trying to figure out what girls think or what guys do that makes someone feel special, moreso to compare it with what I already do. Nevertheless, I will be careful, and I really do appreciate you guys changing my perspective. SOmetimes love i sblind and you miss the little signs telling you something isn't right because you think you want something so badly. Thanks!!!

Hey Everyone, I am dating this girl that I really like alot. I know she is dating other guys too. I hung out with one of her friends tonite and he told me something she said. She says she really likes me but this other guy treats her like a Princess. I thought I was too, but I wanna do more. Can anyone give me some insight as to how you treat someone or how you want to be treated. This could be a fun topic and very helpful to everyone. Any help would be great!!! All the best!!!

What do you guys think of dreams? I would love to hear some feedback! I've been dating/become best-friends with this girl over the last several months. She has expressed many times that she has a closure issue with one of her ex's from 3 years ago. She caught her ex-boyfriend cheating on her with another girl. She never had any closure as to why he cheated. It has held her back in relationships since then, and I can see her sabotaging relationships because of this. Last night, she had a dream that she told me about very vivdily. Here's a brief synapses: She was on a train in Paris where she saw her ex, he wouldn't really talk to her. She finally went up to him and they agreed to go to lunch after she asked him why he didn't care, they spent the weekend together, had sex, and she walked away from him feeling happy and like she finally had closure, in her dream... I'm just wondering if you guys think it is possible to get closure, or for that matter, sort out problems you have in dreams. She has expressed to me many times that she is not ready to commit, regardless of how much she loves me. I think this is a big part of it. Should I just relax and let nature take its course, or should I dig into this deeper to see what she feels and why she told me about it. Thanks...

Self confidence is not something you should switch on and off in a given situation. You should be confident all the time, know yourself, and love yourself. The trick is being confident without being cocky. It can be a very fine line. Girls don't like cocky guys generally. All you can do is be yourself and hope you find someone special that identifies with that. Also, while being confident, don't overlook others needs by being to concerned with yourself. Listen when they talk, eye contact, paying attention to their subtle hints are all good things to do. People pick up on this, and it goes a long way in life. Not sure I really answered your question, but I hope this helps. Stay strong!

If you feel your life has developed certain patterns than you should try and take a step back and analyze why these patterns exist. It could be just simply that these are not the right relationships for you and/or your subconscious is telling you how to handle it. It also could be a much more deeply-rooted problem such as fear of commitment. If that is the case you shlould look deep into yourself and figure out why this exists and what steps you can take in the future to prevent or solve your fears.

Happy Birthday!!! Sorry about your misfortune. Sometimes we are put before difficult times. It builds strength, conviction, and character. Just know that you will get through it and you will come out stronger and wiser. We have to experience both good and bad so when its good we can appreciate it that much more. Good luck, and know that it gets better. Stay Stong.

Wow, thats a tough one. First off, its nice to know that you are compasionate and caring otwards her feelings. You should feel proud that you have a good heart. That being said, you have to do what is right for you, and your life. Have you truly fallen out of love? Have you tried ways of rekindling your relationship? I know it is difficult sometimes to be with someone who loves you so much when you cant reciprocate the feelings, it makes you want to push them away more. All that is, is following your heart, which is the most important thing in life. You cant keep going through your life unhappy for the sake of someone else's happiness, its not fair to you. Also, if you truly feel this way, its not right to "lead her on" She will get over you, her life will go on... I've been on both sides before and time heels all wounds. Give her the oppurtunity she deserves to move on with her life and have that time to heal and find someone else. As far as how close you stay to her, you will have to feel that out for yourself, and probably day by day. Don't give her false hope in anyway, it will tear her upart on an emotional rollercoaster. Be there for her, be a friend when she needs it, but don't cross the line after you make the decision. I'm saying this from recent experience, all on the other side. This is how I would have wanted to be treated. Best of luck to you!

I have dated probably too many strippers in my life. I'm not saying it can't work, but generally it doesn't. They can be normal girls I guess, but most of them have problems from earlier in life that led them down the path they are on. Alot of these girls do need help and someone who will be strong and support them, but most times they are not ready for this. It can also be a normal girl that is just trying to make ends meet and put themselves throguh college. All I can say is don't become too emotionally attatched or set yourself up to get hurt.