hailtothevictors

Update: I was in my dorm's cafeteria late Wednesday night when I heard someone call out my name. It was her - she called me over and invited me to sit and eat with her and her friend. She apologized for being "a phantom the last week or so" - she said she was busy with tests/papers and had friends visiting from out of town. We had a good chat, she introduced me to her friend and told her the story of how we met on a blind date, etc. Her former high school's basketball team was playing in a state tournament semi-final in our city on Thursday and she asked me if I wanted to go. I had class, so I had to decline. If the team won on Thursday, they would play on Saturday, so she told me she would let me know how the team did and if they won she invited me to the game with her Saturday. Her team lost on Thursday, but I didn't hear anything from her. After leaving her two messages two weeks ago that she didn't respond to, I had decided not to call her again. But after this little exchange I think I should give it another chance. I would like to call her and invite her to a St. Patricks Day party tonight. I figure that I like her, she seems to have some interest in me, and I don't have a lot to lose. The mixed signals are a little confusing though, but I think I should give it one more shot. Good move?

I talked to her friend today. I casually asked what was up with "D" and why she hadn't called me back. The response: "Oh yeah, it's because she obviously hates you (smiles and laughs). No seriously, I know she was really busy with papers and tests last week, so that's probably why. I hardly saw her last week either if that makes you feel any better." She seemed surprised when she found out I hadn't talked to D in over a week. I don't buy it. There's no way you're too busy to spare 30 seconds to text me or something. Think there is any potential for her to contact me this week or is it over?

Well, I have class with her best friend on Monday, so if I haven't heard from her before then, I think I'll mention something to her friend. Maybe that will shed some light on the situation.

Why would she do that?

Yeah, I'm just really confused because she showed a lot of interest in me and seemed to like me. Then all of a sudden she just stops returning my calls. Why is dating so hard? lol

Just called and -- big surprise -- had to leave a message.

No, I haven't called yet. I'm either going to call tonight or tomorrow night. I guess I'm still hoping that she calls back, even thought it doesn't seem very likely at this point. When I do call (and hopefully talk to her) should I mention my earlier message or just go ahead and ask her out?

Will calling her again make me look needy/clingy? Ugghh, this sucks. I thought for sure she would call back ... all signs made it seem like she was interested. She was the one who suggested going to the movie in the first place!

Hmmm ... what do you guys think of this? She was out of town this weekend but was planning on returning Sunday afternoon. I called her on Sunday night and had to leave a message. I told her I was calling to see how her weekend went and asked if she wanted to go to that movie this week. That was Sunday afternoon and she still hasn't called back. Am I being overly concerned?

Thanks for the great responses, guys! jordan1234: I got out of a 2.5-year relationship about three months ago. It was incredibly difficult for me, but I put myself in the best possible situation to heal (no contact with the ex) and I am at peace with what happened. One time that we hung out we saw a preview for a movie that she suggested we go see. She is out of town this weekend, but I'm going to give her a call on Sunday or Monday and ask her to the movie and probably dinner beforehand. I know dinner and a movie is such a cliche date, but she suggested it, and dinner will give us a good opportunity to talk. And I definitely agree that I need to make a move. If the date goes well I'll go in for the kiss. I'm nervous already, haha, I'm 20 years old and the only girl I've ever kissed is my ex-girlfriend!

I am a sophomore in college and got set up on a blind date on Valentine's Day. It was actually a blind double-date, my friend and I went mini-golfing and out to dinner with two girls. The date went really well, we had a lot of fun, and spent hours at the restaurant just talking. I felt a connection with one of the girls (I'll call her D)- we sat accross from each other at dinner and talked a lot, had lots of "eye-flirting", and she even was gently playing footsie with me under the table. That weekend the four of us hung out again, and we ended up staying in D's room until 5 in the morning just talking. Again, it was much of the same, every time I looked over at her she would lock eyes with me and give me a smile. She has gorgeous eyes The next week we talked on the phone and she suggested that I come over to watch TV with her. So we just hung out in her room and watched TV. As I was leaving she suggested going to a movie sometime, which I said sounded like fun. She was out of town last weekend, so we couldn't go to a movie, but I went over to her room again last night to hang out. We were able to be alone for a little while, but then a couple of her friends came over. I guess I'm just confused by what I should do. I really like her; she's beautiful, fun to be around, and seems like a genuine person. We have lots of similar interests. She always suggests doing things together and says she will call me, but I almost always end up being the person who calls. She usually seems like she likes me when we are together, but gives me mixed signals. When we have sat on the couch and talked/watched TV, we sit fairly close, but no touching, and no kiss yet after four times of hanging out. I want to take things slow, but I'm beginning to wonder how much interest she has. It seems like she does, because she keeps asking me to do things with her, but sometimes I'm not sure. I really want to go on a real date with just the two of us. I'm just not really sure what to do ...

Hey guys, Well, this new girl is not exactly my "girlfriend", we've only gone on a couple dates ... don't want to get ahead of things. But I can honestly say that if my ex told me today that she wanted to try again, I would not say yes. Maybe down the line we could try again, but not right now. I'm heard from friends that she has changed so much, she gets drunk at nearly every opportunity, is letting her schoolwork suffer, hooking up with guys she doesn't even know. I didn't think she could ever be like that when we were together, but I see now she had all this "bad-girl" stuff built up inside her. NC and deleting her name from my AIM really helped me in the healing process.

I haven't been on here for a while, but I wanted to update you guys who have been following my story and offering me advice. Brief Recap: High school sweetheart cheated on me and broke up with me after 2.5 years together, saying she didn't love me as a boyfriend anymore. Went through weeks and weeks of tears, depression, laziness, did NC for a month, wanted her back more than anything. After 2.5 months a former teacher of mine emailed me and said he had a student who wanted a date for Valentine's Day, so he wanted to set me up on a blind date. I still didn't feel like I was completely over my ex, but I had been doing better recently, so I actually agreed. The blind date was wonderful! The girl was cute, funny, smart, lots of similar interests. We've gone on two dates since then and we are going on another this weekend. I'm trying to take things slow (we haven't even kissed yet) because I don't want to rush into anything. I have so much fun whenever I am with her. The best part is, I think I have truly grasped that my ex and I were not meant for each other. NC was helpful in making me realize I could live without her. I tried to limit myself from checking her Facebook profile online, but I got weak from time to time and checked. As much as it hurt at the time (and believe me, I can't even describe how much it hurt) I think seeing her send messages/take pictures with other guys helped me move on. I still have the occasional bump along the road and lots of things still remind me of my ex, but I can now talk/think about her without experience all of that pain and hurt. The new girl has a lot to do with it, too. She has made me realize that there are other girls out there just as fun, pretty, and engaging as my ex. My relationship with my ex was my first relationship ever, so I'm not really sure how rebounds work ... maybe this new girl is a "rebound". All I know is that I am 100% okay with the idea that I will never be with my ex again and I can't wait to see where things go with this new girl. Thanks for all the help and support from you guys when I was going through the roughest of times. You guys are the best!

Well, she ended up texting me back that night and we had a text conversation for about half an hour. She ended by asking me to call her about hanging out sometime this week. I gave her a call this afternoon but had to leave a message. Once again, she hasn't called me back. It seems like she always waits quite a few hours or until the next day to call back ... is this normal? I got out of a long-term relationship a few months ago (which happened to be my first ever relationship) so I don't have a lot of dating experience. I really really am starting to like this girl and I just want to make sure I'm not believing that there's something here when there really is not, and setting myself up for disappointment. Thanks for your responses

Ok, she called me back on Saturday and we made plans for the four of us to hang out again. It turned into a really great night. After the show, the four of us wound up in her room, just hanging out and talking until 5 in the morning. The girl I like (we'll call her D) and I were "eye-flirting" the entire night long. We talked about so much, it was great. When my friend and I left he said, "She would not stop staring at you the entire night!". She gave me so many little glances and smiles throughout the night. Today I sent her a text telling her that I had a lot of fun and suggested hanging out sometime this week. That was a few hours ago and she hasn't responded. If she doesn't respond, should I call her in a few days and set something up? I want a chance for the two of us to do something together once, instead of in a group of people.