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Bunney

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Bunney last won the day on June 16 2013

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  1. After 5 days of NC I broke it yesterday. I messaged him on facebook about something that happened, and I wanted to have a talk I guess (on skype). He said its too early to skype and to tell him on FB instead. He said he cares about me more than anyone in the world but that he can't be together with me. Then I asked him to be honest, if he's talking to someone else. He replied that he isn't, and that he doesn't want to be with any girl atm. We ended up catching up some and updating eachother on our lives. Somehow.. I feel a lot better now (even better than yesterday), I don't feel as abandoned. Those 5 days of NC have given me some clarity, and tbh I'm not sure I would take him back at this point. I feel like I can move on properly now.
  2. After 5 days of NC I broke it today. I messaged him on facebook about something that happened, and I wanted to have a talk I guess (on skype). He said its too early to skype and to tell him on FB instead. He said he cares about me more than anyone in the world but that he can't be together with me. Then I asked him to be honest, if he's talking to someone else. He replied that he isn't, and that he doesn't want to be with any girl atm. We ended up catching up some and updating eachother on our lives. Somehow.. I feel a lot better now (even better than yesterday), I don't feel as abandoned. Those 5 days of NC have given me some clarity, and tbh I'm not sure I would take him back at this point. I feel like I can move on properly now.
  3. Day 5 of NC. I kinda still can't believe we're not talking anymore, it came so sudden. But today I've been feeling better and more hopeful. I hope this feeling will last. I've been reasoning with myself and stopped putting him on a pedestal. I realized he probably wasn't as awesome as I used to think, and that even if we stayed together, we likely wouldn't have lasted and I may have been the one breaking up with him later down the road. Sometimes I wonder if I should initiate contact with him when I feel like I'm in a better place & am over him, in order to build a friendship, but the next minute I am thinking- he broke my heart, he left me after promising to never give up on us... so he doesn't deserve me nor my friendship.
  4. It has been three days since you are out of my life. I didn't expect it, I wasn't prepared, not ready to lose you. I'm still having a hard time understanding what happened and how your love for me could subside when not too long ago, it was so strong. I thought strong enough to accept my flaws and have faith in that I will work on them so that my issues wouldn't cause problems for us in the future. I don't know if you're going through some inner conflicts or something else that I don't know about, and if that's the case then I wish you would've opened up to me the same way you always wished I open up to you. It all doesn't make very much sense to me - the feeling of emptiness is starting to feel like it's slowly killing me, and even though I have wonderful friends and family that make it all seem just a little bit brighter, I can't help but having to face this void that you left in my heart when I'm alone at home. It is strange not talking to you after doing that literally every day for nearly half a year - I keep trying to make sense of how we went from such a happy, amazing couple to being strangers again. As much as I try to convince myself that it was for the best, I just can't see it. I somehow believed that we were invincible, that two people with as strong of a connection as you and I had just belong together. Not in a million years did I think that you would break it off after all these promises about how you would never leave me, never hurt me and never give up on us - how could you go from loving me so much to 'not wanting a future with me'? After all the late-night conversations about our future together, how much we look forward to it, and that you even told your mother that you can actually see yourself marrying me and starting a family with me? After telling me that I am the first girl ever that you can see yourself end up with? I miss you - I miss us, how we were, how we spent our time together, having fun no matter what we did. Even being bored together was fun. I miss your smile, perhaps the most gorgeous smile I've ever laid my eyes on. Your generosity, how you took care of me... I've probably failed to tell you how much I appreciated that. I miss cuddling and falling asleep together on Skype, our playful banters and teasing eachother, running into your arms at the airport. Yes, we argued a lot, probably stemming from us both having strong personalities and being stubborn. But I loved how we both were always willing to admit when we were wrong and apologize, and somehow those fights brought us closer together. I realize that a lot of them have been caused by me, and I regret that so much. I know that if we were to give it another shot, I would work so hard on all my issues and never let them cause tension and trouble between us - instead, I would be so much more relaxed and easy-going, and accepting of things. I probably took you for granted sometimes and that too is something I would never do again. It is really the hardest part of it all - blaming myself and wondering if you'd still be here if I hadn't or had done certain things. As you know, I have difficulties letting someone get close to me, and somehow after letting my guard down and actually opening the door to someone, it makes me act in ways I usually don't. It is almost like it freaks me out so much that I act in destructive ways to sabotage the relationship. But I thought that we would be going to stay together long enough for me to overcome these feelings and go back to my normal, bubbly, free-spirited and confident self. I'm having such a hard time accepting that with my occasional stupidity and probably even craziness, I may have pushed you away and made your feelings subside. I somehow believed you would stick with me through good and not only bad, but also the worst, but it was unfair to expect you to deal with the same things over and over again. In the back of my mind I probably justified it with the saying, "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best". I know that there is nothing I can do, except for promising with all my heart that I wouldn't do the same mistakes again a second time around. And I know it's never just one person's fault - so whether I acted jealous a lot of the time or not would maybe not have made a difference in the outcome of everything. I can only assume. And sure, you had flaws as well, a lot of them probably. But I never expected perfection from you, and adored you as you are. I've stopped having the belief that there is "the one", some person that is exactly right for you - that person doesn't exist, and I hope that isn't why you decided to leave me. No person in this world fits you to a hundred percent, mainly because we are all so different, with different upbringings. We all have our own issues that result from our past and they will clash in any relationship, but if the bond is strong enough you somehow make it work and help eachother deal with them. I don't know where exactly we went wrong and at what point - all I know is that I saw a wonderful future for us, a lot of potential that has just gone to waste now. I accept that this is how it is now, and I'm going to move on, but I will keep our memories close to my heart and probably always wonder 'what if'. I don't expect you to come back, and I'm not sure I even want that because it would be so hard to trust you again. Listening to this cover helps in a way - it makes me think of us, our situation and wish that that's the things we would be saying right now instead of it being over. (Boyce Avenue - For the first time) Love, L.
  5. Hiiiii first visitor message!

  6. Haven't read the whole thread but I thought I'd give my opinion as well. "once a cheater always a cheater" is incorrect. Cause you cannot generalize like that. It all depends on the situation and the person. One person may cheat and totally regret it and never do it again, for the other one it's a pattern. So whoever says that "once a cheater is always a cheater" is wrong.
  7. That's a beautiful poem, you are a skilled writer. It'll get better
  8. Yeah, I've made out with a girl twice. It was great. Most guys I've kissed weren't very good kissers at all..
  9. I disagree with this. I feel that often people lose themselves so much in tears and self-pity (yes, most suicidal people pity themselves a lot, no offence intended) that they don't see they actually have it good. They often don't appreciate the good things and just focus on the bad. When I feel depressed it often helps me to think that there are people with 100x worse problems, and that makes my problems seem a lot smaller. (of course it all depends on what situation the suicidal person is in.)
  10. Very thoughtful indeed... Wish I was that good at wording.
  11. That's what I feel everyday when I'm not with my bf (ldr). Nicely written
  12. LOL @ Momene's post! chigal28 - Speak to him if it still bothers you, but honestly... I'm quite sure he was rather making fun of Polish people instead of you (Just like they make fun of blonde girls -poor me ). Don't take it too seriously and let it go!! My boyfriend and I use to tease eachother oftenly... what was the saying? Those who tease eachother love eachother Just don't worry!
  13. Sorry to hear that & wish you the best of luck in the future! So what was about the other day when he went to a bar and paid 51$? Did he really just have a dinner with his co-workers?
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