Heretic

Do you have his E-mail address? I find this is a great way to communicate. I occasionally get caught up with life in general and sometimes don't get home until late for reasons like work, school, friends, family, etc. When I get home late I don't want to call anyone. I do tend to check my E-mail when I get the chance at work or during spare time at home (which can be few and far between during bad weeks). Still if I got an E-mail saying "I hope you're alright, just please let me know you're okay!" I'd at the very least write back "I'm fine I'll tell you about it later" I'm sure anyone who checks their E-mail would do the same. I hope this helps.

Well you shouldn't just use your friends as an outlet. You should spend time with them creating great memories together. Memories are like glue for friendships. The better the memories the better the friendship. If all you do it complain to your friends or ask them for help, they'll see that as the basis of the relationship and that's not fun for everyone involved. That said it is important to have people you trust that you can explain your problems to. This can also help bring a friendship together. However you really need a mix of both to make a real strong bond. I hope this helps.

I'm really sorry if this sounds insensitive but did you guys ever meet in person. I'm just trying to assess the situation as best I can. I've never had an online relationship so I'm not sure what's it's all about. Any information you can provide will greatly assist me in not only helping you but others like yourself in the future.

Hey gooseBumps! First off welcome to eNotAlone! I can completely understand your anxiety as my ex's all ran off to see their ex's occasionally. At first this really bothered me but then I realized it's nothing to worry about. Here's the thing. I never trusted any of ex's ex's but that's not what mattered. If you trust your gf then trust she won't let anything happen. She's not stupid and she's not going to just give in to pressure. If anything that kind of pressure will ensure she won't ever want to see this guys again. Women are turned off by a guy who can't take a hint. If he tries to pull some stunt it'll be the last one he'll pull with her, ever. I hope this helps.

Trust can be difficult in an LDR. You just have to keep trying. I'm not the best person to ask about this since I trusted and got burned in the end. That doesn't mean you shouldn't trust your SO. Nothing is more important then communication when you're having trust issues. Be keeping up with your communication you can alleviate some of the stress that's causing you to be distrustful. One of the most important factors in a successful relationship is trust. If you cannot begin to trust your partner again you will have serious problems. People can sense when they aren't trusted. This makes them feel like they can't trust the person who doesn't trust them. Then the accusations start and the relationship plumets. If you want this to work you have to trust them. I hope this helps.

Hey Runin4now! First welcome to eNotAlone! These forum have individuals from every walk of life here and all are eager to help. That said I'm really sorry to here about your situation. I don't have children so I can't fully relate. I do understand what it is like to be lied to about a relationship you felt wasn't plutonic. Here's my issue with what's happened. Your trust has obviously been breached. Your wife seems to not realize she is raising a family. This guy is not going to just go away unless you wife really wants that. Your children are now probably very confused about the whole situation. These factors are going to make recovery difficult. Seeing a counselor is a good idea but because she brought it up after you caught her and because she didn't want to earlier makes me believe she's not going to be really going... more showing up. That said if you care to save this relationship seeing a counselor is the best way... even if you're just going by yourself. The unfortunate part is you're going to have to trust her 100% before you can really save your marriage meaning you're going to have to set yourself up to be hurt all over again. I wish you the best of luck and hope someone else can offer you more advice.

The real shame is that if the don't follow those rules they can lose their jobs simply for trying to do their job too well. There is a very fine line that must be very hard to walk in cases like this.

Unless they have proof you're doing something illegal, yes. Again if you don't respond they will assume you're in trouble and they will try to save you.

There's this thing called the Good Samaritan Law... Basically it assumes that someone who tries to save a life does so with your best interests in mind so the law protects them. It's not 100% protection but it's decent enough. Basically they will show up and say they have a tip that you have illegal drugs... then they can bust down your door and arrest you. Best case scenario they will show up and knock. If you respond and say don't come in they will sit outside and keep asking. The moment you don't respond they will then break the door down. If you aren't conscious enough to respond they will pump your stomach and dope you up. Either way they will do what they can to save your life. That's their job.

What your boyfriend needs is to taste some independance. I'm not sure exactly what the deal is with his family. Blood is thicker then water but what he needs to realize is he has no backbone when it comes to his family. Mind you I don't really understand why his mother is upset. I read your other post and it didn't seem like anything to really get all pissed off about. What you need to consider and I hate to say it this way BUT, if you're serious about this boy then you have to get along with his family. You don't marry a person you marry a family. With the current dynamics your life would be a living hell. I suggest you plead with the mother to patch things up before the birthday and get re-invited. This provided you the opportunity to repair burnt bridges. If you're not willing to swallow your pride again and again I'd say you're not going to be happy with this guy. Sorry, it's just the way I see it.

Yeah it's pretty cut and dry if he doesn't think his behaviour is in the wrong. It's just not meant to be.

As much time as she needs. You're enjoying each others company are you not? So why not just sit back and enjoy the ride. She knows how you feel and when/if she decides to change the direction she'll let you know. You've put the ball on her side of the court. I hope this helps.

Yes you should. There is no reason to be in a relationship that is all about giving. You need to receive something from a relationship in order for it to be a healthy one. I'm not saying that you should break up just because you're not getting what you need, but you need to let your SO know about your needs. Don't expect your SO to be a mind-reader. If they aren't given you any attention they either don't know you want it or aren't interested in giving it. If it's the latter then it's time to get out of the relationship. You need to be a little selfish sometimes because what you need is equally important. I hope this helps.

Hey cnookie! First of all welcome to eNotalone! Nothing about relationships is off topic here. I hope you'll find the advice here helpful. Buying presents is best straight from the heart so most strangers won't be able to tell you exactly what to get your boyfriend. That said we might be able to point you in the right direction. First things first. Let us know a little bit about him. What does he like? What are his hobbies? Also how much money are you willing to spend? Are you two sexually active? Because sometimes the best gift you can give him is a nice set of lingere for yourself Anyways let us know a bit more and I'm sure we can come up with something.

Wow female, 24, Canada and a nice avatar! A match made in heaven Seriously though, I didn't stop fantasizing about my ex for a long time. I was even in another relationship and still found myself thinking about them. It wasn't often but I still did. I felt very guilty about it. Then one day I just stopped. Nothing had changed it just didn't come into my mind anymore. So sorry I don't have any hints as to how to stop those pleasant fantasies, but I can tell you they will stop. Just don't try to get rid of them by starting another relationship. I think when you stop fantasizing that might be a sign you're ready to move on. I hope this helps.