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Jian

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  1. Hello all I often go to the gym, however there are not many girls at the one I go, however a new girl just came maybe 2 weeks ago. I found her quite cute, so the last time I saw her, I tried to make eye contact. Surprisingly, she was looking at me, but I guess I didn’t expect it and didn’t hold the look. Second time same thing. However, third time, again I make eye contact as she was on the bench next to me and I smile and say hello, she reply with a small smile and short hello. She then looks away. I felt a bit uncomfortable as I would have expected a bit more warm reply. Later I cross her again, make eye contact and smile; she was again looking at me but didn’t really smile. I was on my way out so no luck. I was wondering, do you people think she’s shy or not interested, but if she’s not interested why she was always making eye contact with me...just to be nice? However next time ill try to initiate small talk with her, ill she how she will react. So I already have my plan but I was wondering if you people think its a lost cause. Thank for your input.
  2. I see, I guess Ill ask for phone number then. Its just that when I meet a women in a public place, I dont stick around for 30min to speak with her. Maybe 2 min is exaggerating, lets say maybe 10 min is usually what I do. Just a few nice and quick questions to test if shes interested to talk to me, then I introduce myself and ask for her name and I ask if she has an email, after getting it I say thank you but I have to go, which is usually true. It usually work great, but I dont get much reply. You really think she will be more receptive if I ask for a phone number?
  3. Hello What you people think of this. When you introduce yourself to someone new and you feel you want contact them to ask them out. Do you think it is better to ask for email or phone number? So far I only asked for email, and it worked all the time, however they do not all reply unfortunately. But do you think I should change strategy and ask directly for a phone number instead? i Mean the girls I usually ask dosent even know me except a 2 to 5 min talk. Im guessing that the chance of getting an email are much better than phone number. Any opinions? Thanks!
  4. Thank you for the reply. Well im still confuse and not sure how should I process. I usually do a chat after 3 or 4 mails then at the end I ask for phone conversation but so far it never worked. These girls usually initiate chat again later, which means they are interested in a way. The last girl I had chance to chat maybe 4 times during 3 weeks, (1 long chat of 30 min and all other maybe 10 min.) At the end of the third week. My last chat message was -call me this Sunday, It a bit annoying to always chat and you take too long to reply (which was true as she was doing something else at the same time), if not well wish you good luck finding the right guy... This was my 3rd phone request. She never called, well I was indeed getting tired of chatting and well 3 weeks, that enough in my opinion. I'm currently communicating with a girl, 3 emails and 1 chat and its been awesome so far. In the 3rd email I asked to talk on the phone, and I also asked for a maybe a phone conversation soon at the end of the chat. She said she would prefer to stick with computer for a while first. So I guess ill let her demand a phone conversation or else ill never get one with her either.
  5. First im not a professional trainer... Well it depend of whats your goal. If its just to keep in good shape, good cardio and health then its fine. However if you want to get some muscles or loose weight then its not going to work. First, each time you go train you should focus on an area of your body, like day 1: Chest-Triceps-Legs, Day 2: Back-Bicep-Shoulders and so on... A professional trainer should be able to make a good training program or you can find some on Internet too or even buy books about it. Each time you work out, you should do all the exercise of the body area and then move on another one. Going from a machine to another random one is pointless. You should also change your training program each 4 to 6 weeks. Also a training should not be much longer than 1Hour to 1H30 with cardio. Well as I said im not an expert and im still gathering knowledge about this. I would be interested to read others people opinion about the subject.
  6. Hello I recently started on line dating, I not only do this but I decided to expand my opportunities. However I have a problem, I don't have much trouble getting reply from the ladies I emails, however within the last 2 months, I chatted with 3 girls and so far only one of them asked for a phone conversation. I personally don't like chatting much and I always propose a phone conversation but i only get the Will See answer. When I chat I'm never the one who initiate the conversation, I always wait until the do and I chatted many times with the same girls (like 3 or 4 times), always initiated by her. But they never agree or even suggest to move on the phone. I'm wondering if im coming too strong suggesting it almost each time at the end of a chat. How do you people move from email or chat to phone. I usually also suggest to give my phone number. Should I suggest a face to face meeting before a phone conversation. Thanks in advance for the replies!
  7. thanks Jeffrey No its not rejection, I have been a couple of times in my life, and I learned to not take this personally. I have been recently in fact and except disappointment It didn't bother me much. I recently started to think that maybe I'm too self-conscious. I was a shy teenager but growing up I really matured and I don't think Im more shy than the average now. I think Im too conformist and I'm scare to displease those I feel interested to, specially the ladies. I know its easy to say, don't think what she will think of you just go, but I think that sometime that bad side wins over the courageous side and my mind freeze and don't know what to say anymore.
  8. Today, I had to go subscribe to a winter class. Was expecting to go, register then out for lunch... When I arrive at the registration local, theres 2 desks, one busy with a new customer and a second with a girl. I gave a quick look from the side and didn't find her really attractive. When she was finally free of the phone she ask me to come inside, then omg she was really pretty! My mind then turned off, I don't know why, this didn't happen to me probably since high school. I answered all her question, gave the cash, said thanks and then left. On my way back, I was thinking, what the hell I just did and started to feel really bad. Why didn't I even try to initiate conversation? She even told me that the class was going to be difficult, I could have use that to talk more with her. Im thinking that I should have go back, saying that I forgot my gloves or something. damn I feel dumb... I acted like a freaking robot. I'm usually not that numb with women, Im talkative on a dates and try to act friendly when I meet new one. I do feel awkward with total stranger but not if I have a reason to converse with her. Like today, she was there to help me, it should not have gone that bad. How do you deal when you really regrets you didn't try to make a moves. And How to keep alert all the time. I'm gonna hit myself if my mind switch off like that again. Maybe I was too surprised by how I feel toward her beauty, I dont know.
  9. Thanks for the answers. Simply forget this, is the best course to take. I feel better already, thanks! As for the reason why she is not interested is not important, well I like to think and see what went wrong when things dosent work out, at least I can work on my mistake, but in that case i don't think im really the problem so im not taking this rejection personally. Thanks and have a good day!
  10. I started dating a girl 2 weeks ago, we had a fantastic first date and we saw each other 4 times during the last 2 weeks, 3 times at her place and 1 time we went to my place and to a restaurant. Shes cute and I feel it was easy to have conversation with her. I personally think she had the same attraction. However, the last time we saw each other i started to slowly build tension by being a bit more physical, just touching her feet with mine, touching her lower back or arm. But I could feel she was not 100% comfortable. Yesterday we were supposed to have a date, I call her in the noon, she said shes with a friend (girl) and she will be ready soon, she will then call me when she is. She never called. I called her later that night, she said she stayed with her friend that day because her friend is going through a divorce. She also said she have to study that evening. I asked if she will be busy tomorrow night so we could go out for a dinner. She said again she will be busy studying and ended the conversation as fast as she could. Ok, I got that she has no more interest in me, cool im moving on. However I send her an email last night telling her that I really had good time with her and I wished her good luck in her study and that I was disappointed that she was ending things that soon. A formal au revoir, as I didnt like how our conversation ended on the phone. She send me a reply telling me that she was sorry and the reason why she want to end things is not because of me but because of her study. She sacrificed a lot for it already and she just moved here and had to leave her last boyfriend where she lived before (about 5 months ago) and she dosent want to re-live that pain again, has she is not sure she will stay here. Shes interested to stay friend with me but cannot give me a lot of her time. I personally think I will move on, even if I feel a bit regret, and im confuse if she really mean shes not interested (FRIEND WORD?!!) in me or its because of some kind of baggages she has and shes scare of going for a relationship at the moment. Ill be interested to hear your opinions. Thanks!
  11. Seriously I don't have trouble approaching a girl in a social event or calm environment like a coffee shop or a small store but I sometime see a girl I find interesting while in the subway or walking on the street. Like this morning, that girl was walking a few feet's in front of me but I had no idea how I could come up with something that didn't sound too strange to scare her away. This always happen once in a while. You only have a few min. even sec to think of something to say, and thats when my mind freeze. After, I always regret and ideas how I could have approached her always comes too late in my mind. I would like to be able to be quick and think about a way to approach unknown women during that short time, well cause of course I don't usually see them again.
  12. Just a short follow up. I’ve send an email to the girl a few days later. Telling her that I was sorry that the conversation didn’t goes very well. She explained me that she found that I have been rude with her asking her out without even knowing her. She explained me that she doesn’t like when guys pick on her and she only date friends!?? Ok here's my question, Does a lot of girls actually hate being picked up? And what’s the deal about friends, I think it’s important to become friends first indeed, but I taught that the dates were made for that, knowing each other and all before actually getting to the next level. I would prefer to know, next time I approach a girl, is it better to hide under the cover of being friend or being truthful in what you want. I’m not trying to sleep with most girls as possible, Im 29, single since a few months and im looking for something serious with a lady but now im confuse about my approach.
  13. thanks for the tips, I guess ill put her out of my mind then. Too bad she was really cute and we share a couple of interests already. Shes between 23-25. Im 29, but shes a party girl, likes clubbing a lot! I guess she was just being nice to me then.
  14. Ok Ive meet this girl a few days ago. I saw her once before, we had a very short chat and one week after, Ive meet her again and then asked for her email. She gladly gave it to me. Yesterday we chatted a bit. I asked her if she would be interested to meet for a drink during the conversation. She told me that she wanted to make things clear and told me that shes has no interest in dating or flirting. I told her I'm interested to make friends, she said then fine. However, she asked to bring one of he guy friend to our first meeting. I didn't agree as i said I don't feel too much comfortable having a third party with us the first time. The discussion then went awkward and we ended up not making any plans. Just said later to each other,and she ended up the conversation. I can say that it was a 50% good chat in general, tried to be funny, but its hard to make jokes on msn and make sure the other person get its a joke. She never brought the topic that she have a boyfriend and I never asked either, I asked if she had a girlfriend...to make things funny, but I think she didn't find that much funny lol, ho well If a girl say that shes not interested in dating or flirting, is it bad to say that you only want to make friends? Which is true in my case, as I don't know her and wanted to see if we are at least compatible. Do you think its possible to reverse her mind and make her attracted to you? or its simply a way to tell me shes has no interest in me at all.
  15. Hi thanks for the advice. Well, yes I'm over my breakup, im really positive about it. I have been in no contact for 1 1/2 months and I have absolutely no intention to go back to her. The first 2 weeks were the worst, but now i feel really good about myself and really positive. I know shes just a crush, I'm really aware of this, it simply a physical attraction at the moment. but I want to know more about her to see if shes relationship material. I will try to have a few questions to initiate the conversation and ask for her email in the process and her phone number. I just didn't want to scare her if she know that someone comes to her work just to say hi...twice in the same week. Thanks a lot again for the tips!!!
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