Avalon23199

Hi. I'm 29 weeks, almost 30, and the size of my "baby bump" has never been a concern for me, through any of my pregnancies, or my doctor. My ob says as long as the baby is growing fine and on track, then you should have nothing to worry about. Your size has nothing to do with the baby's size.

This post just really ticked me off. I just need to say this. As someone who started off a relationship in good health, and was physically fit, and then gained a whole lot of weight, if my husband told me to "lose weight and start looking sexy again or I'm gone".....I'd be out the door before he would! You say she stopped taking care of herself. What happens if you do decide to get married and you decide to have children. Don't get me wrong, some women look really good when they are pregnant, but some don't. What if it's a complicated pregnancy and she's put on bed rest? That's what happened to me, and I ballooned up. I didn't see you once comment on anything good about her except when she "looks good". If you can't see beyond her looks, then do her and yourself a favor and move on, because you're just going to end up hurting her more, and if you love her like you say you do, you'll realize that all this superficial "she's too fat and ugly for me sometimes" talk is hurting her. And not doing anything about it is her way of showing you that she is hurting by your words and actions!

I know you said you didn't want advice saying to leave him, but I just have to say something. I was in a relationship EXACTLY like that for 3 years. I worked my butt off to the point to where I got soo sick I ended up in the hospital, just to have him take the money that was intended for groceries/bills and spend it on alcohol, drugs, and partying. He refused to keep a job, and became very verbally abusive towards me. I stuck through for 3 years thinking that I could get things to work. Well, they didn't. I ended up pregnant and through all the stress of working and his abuse, I lost our son when I was 4 months pregnant. I moved back to my parents soon after, and haven't looked back since. Haven't even spoken to him since. That was almost 4 years ago. 3 years ago I met a wonderful man who I love, and we have a 2 year old daughter together. We just got married last month. You can find love with someone else. Someone who is going to treat you like you deserve, instead of mooching off of you. Please hon, wake up before things get soo bad that your health, whether it physical or mental begins to break down!

14 days. That's how long I have to decide if I'm doing the right thing or not. My fiance and I are getting married July 21st at 11:45am. We're just doing the jop thing, instead of putting ourselves in debt to have a bigger wedding. We both agree that being in debt is no way to start a marriage. But lately, I don't know if that's what I want. Let me start from the beginning. He and I met in March of 2003, and didn't start dating until July 5th, 2003. On Sept. 7, I found out I was pregnant. My pregnancy was very high risk, and my daughter ended up being born by c-section and was in the hospital for a week due to poor oxygen levels. Throughout my pregnancy, we fought about how he wasn't helping out. Our differences really took a precedence. We have very little in common. Our music tastes are really the only thing we can agree on. Now that our daughter is here, we cant even agree on how to set down rules and raise her. Our parenting styles differ. I let her do what she wants, with a few rules, and he is constantly on her about nearly everything she does. In the beginning of our relationship, I did cheat on him once. And our arguments have led to us breaking up several times. One time he kicked me out, and I went to stay with my mom. Our daughter came with me, and then my mom and dad decided there wasn't room for us, so I ended up moving back in with him. The night I came home, he was going out with one of his female friends to see a movie. A movie that he told me he would take me to see. I asked if I could come along, and he said he didn't have the money. I did, and he still pushed that he just didn't want me to come. His friend met him at the theatre. I question if he was really with the female friend he said he was with, or if he had a date and didn't want me to find out. Now lately, we have argued everyday it seems. Yesterday was our 3 year anniversary, and he didn't even say happy anniversary or anything until I sent him a card. He sent a card back, and it pretty much said the same thing I said to him. It was like he just copied and pasted. He works from 8:30-4:30 everyday, comes home and immediately gets on the computer and stays there all night. I admit I'm not the best person either, as I do nag him to spend more time with me and our daughter, and to help out around the house, etc. I just don't think I can go through with this marriage, knowing that he's not going to change. He's always going to be this self-centered person. He cannot relate to anything I say, and when we talk, I feel like I'm talking to the wall. I honestly think the wall with talk before he does. When he does say something in his defense it's soo monotone and rehearsed. Last night for example I had said that he rarely helps around the house and his response was "I help around the house". * * *? Am I dating a robot? Honestly, should I just walk away from this relationship? I feel I deserve to be treated as an equal instead of someone who cooks, cleans, takes care of his child, and who he occasionally has sex with. (Monday was the first time we had sex in a month!)

It could be your gallbladder also. Does it get worse when you trying to sleep, or after you've eaten too much, or a really fatty meal?

Shorty, I am soo sorry to hear you are going through this. Right now, you might be feeling that if you were pregnant, you ended your baby's life. But like it was said, what do you consider a baby? An embryo takes more than 72 hours for implantation in the uterus. Hence the reason you have to take the map within 72 hours. I myself say if it's not implanted yet, then it's not an embryo yet, more of a "fertilized egg" so to speak. You didn't end a life. You make the choice that was right for you. It doesn't mean you won't be able to have children in the future. It just means you did what was necessary at the time. Like you said, you most likely weren't pregnant, and you played it safe. Take heart in knowing that even in the first few hours of an embryo's life, there is no heart, lungs, brain..etc.

Sometimes I wonder myself why some people can hurt us like this. I myself went through this very thing not to long ago. I had been friends with a guy for 4 years, and lost contact with him when I moved back home with my parents after I very messy relationship with another person. I had no interests in my friend at the time. I did still keep contact with a mutual friend of ours, and about 5 months after I had moved back home, this mutual friend gives me the other guy's e-mail address. I e-mail him and we started talking almost every night for a few months, until I met my current b/f. During the time we talked, we did express feelings for each other, but because of the distance (he had moved back home also, and we were about 18 hours apart) nothing could happen between us. I eventually moved in with my current b/f, we have a child together, but our relationship wasn't...wonderful. We had been having more than our fair share of fights and I was only sticking around in hopes that a miracle would happen. Well, while surfing online one day, my friend suddenly sends me a message. He was still with his g/f also, they were living together and all seemed happy. Again, after a while of talking, we lost contact because of our busy schedules. Then, in Sept of last year, he messages me again, telling me he's now single. We started talking, and eventually, I realize he's exactly what I am looking for. He asks me to move to where he lives, and taking my daughter into consideration, I said no, I couldn't move her away from her family. He accepts this, agrees its the responsible thing to do, and then starts to consider moving here to be with me. I had broken up with my b/f and was having an "online and phone" relationship with my friend. Well, it didn't take long for things to go sour, mostly due to the distance. His busy schedule and then a family problem led to us not speaking again, that was shortly before my birthday. It still hurts to think about it, because I had given him my heart and I feel like he hasn't given it back. The thing I'm having trouble with the most is not knowing if he's ok. Before we stopped talking, he didn't know where his life was taking him. He never comes online anymore, and he doesn't have a cellphone anymore. I've thought about contacting a local organization that he belongs to just to see if he's ok, but thought it would be too weird for the person I would contact and also, I took him into consideration also, thinking that he might be trying to move on also and making any kind of contact with anyone who might know him would make it harder. So, my advice is,...if you want closure, get it while you can. Don't tolerate being led around like this, only to have your heart utterly crushed. You can still contact him, luckily, and hopefully get the closer you need before things turn out like they have in my situation, where you have lost not only the person you love, but your best friend too.

Hey, calm down for just a second, take a deep breath, and think about what some of the other posters have said. Do you really TRUST someone off the internet with something such as this? Call the health dept there, and you can usually get it for free. And yeah, like I said to you when you first posted about this, if you're not ready to be a daddy then don't have sex!

I just read your second message in this post, and wanted to reply to that also. Is he going to give you the money to go, or does he expect you to be able to go and get it without? I'd be mad about that, but on the other hand, if he was willing to give you the money for you to go get it, then I wouldn't be so upset over it. Yes, $40 is cheaper than a baby, but do you have a local health dept there? You can usually get it for free, or A LOT cheaper than $40. Call them and find out, if they don't have it, they might be able to tell you of places that do.

Definitely get the morning after pill as soon as you can. I know your stressing over this, but it's a lot harder to get pregnant than most realize. It takes a lot of factors to get pregnant. Yes, right after your period is your most fertile time, but how far from your last day of your period did you have sex? If you really concerned about it, you can always use an online ovulation calculator. Here are the links to some decent ones that I know are more accurate since I've used them myself. next time, make sure you have protection, and maybe consider using another form of birth control, such as the pill.

From the sounds of things, it looks like your and he are..how should I say this politely....f*** buddies. A friend with benefits..etc, whatever you want to call it. I've been through this before where I thought the guy was interested in me because not only were we having sex together, we did hang out a lot. It only lasted about a month or so. I would ask him where you two stand before anyone gets hurt!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you aren't ready to face the consequences, THEN DON'T DO IT! Get the morning after pill ASAP. Next time, use your the brain that is on your shoulders, not between your legs!

It's a big risk you are wanting to take here. Not only will you most likely lose the friendship with his g/f, but you also risk losing your friendship with him. Falling for friends are always a tricky business, and don't always work out. I lost my best friend in the entire world this way. Make sure this is what you both want, and not just some infatuation. You need to way the consequences. You might find the love of your life, or end up with not one, but two lost friends!

I went through this with my ex. (We ended because he was verbally and mentally abusive towards me and I couldn't deal with his addictions) We both wanted our space after we had our "honeymoon" period. It just sounds like your relationship is settling into a more constant and normal relationship. After spending every day together, he's going to want his space. But I don't think he's giving up on you.

I can give you a view point from her side, because that is exactly what I'm experiencing in my relationship right now. My fiance and I have been together about 2 1/2 years and we have a daughter together. I myself have begun to fall out of love with him. I just cannot find myself being 100% attracted to him, but have tried everything I can think of to make it work between us, because I do care deeply about and do still love him, just not as much as he would like to me to. Also, the weirdness thing, I go through that too. I don't want him to really touch me, kiss me, or anything like that. And it's hard, because I want nothing more than to have that closeness again. It's very contradictory and confusing to deal with. My only suggestion is to give her the space she needs and let her make the first move. Pressuring her into things will make things worse. I know that doesn't make things easier for you, but if you want to save your relationship, just give it time and space. And definitely be there for your child, this is hard on him also! Also, you could try counseling. It does help to have a 3rd party perspective on things.