LATBM

Sorry, but he sounds like a manipulative immature person to me. You are both engaging in unhealthy behavior by trying to manipulate the other. You already have your answer. He said he wanted a break. What he REALLY wants is to have his cake and eat it too. That's why he contacted you. Apparently whatever temporary distraction he had while you were on the "break" didn't work out, or he is one of those people who always has to have a "safety net" You are his safety net-- His back up plan in case other plans fall through. Is that what you want to be? You are better off "NC"

Thanks, whoops. Yes, I already know that everything you say is true. It's just that it is good to hear it (and read it ) over and over in the first few days/weeks after you break up with someone, so you can remind yourself why you did it and "make it stick". Thanks again!

Am in similar situation. Have a BF with Pulmonary Fibrosis. (he has to be on oxygen 24/7 and will probably need a lung transplant eventually). He was diagnosed after we started dating. I knew someone who died from this disease. The prognosis is not good. Found out about a year ago he cheated on me. MAJOR!! I broke up with him at the time, but we eventually got back together. I have been trying to help him through his illness, but he refuses to quit smoking and even quit taking his medicine at one point. (I didn't know about THAT until his doctor mentioned it in front of me). He lost his job as a truck driver because he can't pass the physical. I suggested he sign up for free computer classes at his local library so he could get a different job. He waited too long and the class was full by the time he called. Any time I ask how his medical situation is going, he gets angry at me and tells me to "relax". Last week I went to his apt. and I could smell the cigarette smoke. I played the messages on his machine and there were a number of messages from his doctor's office and his insurance company-- apparently he hadn't been returning their calls. I called and got the date and time of a support group in the area and wrote it on his calendar. We agreed to go together, but I doubt he would ever go. Also, last week, I felt he was acting strangely. I couldn't put my finger on it at first, but eventually it hit me-- I think he has been cheating again. As a result, I began snooping-- checking his internet history, looking at his credit card statements. I had never done that before, and it made me feel like a JERK!! I realized I didn't want to live like that. Today I sent him a note saying I couldn't handle things as they were, and that I didn't feel I could trust him. I told him that I don't care that he is sick, because that is just part of life. I told him that I couldn't stand by and watch him kill himself and although I still love him, I can't see him anymore. Then, I blocked him on my e-mail so I couldn't receive his response. The problem is... I am starting to forget why I broke up with him! (meaning, I am weakening). I think about all the good times we had and how much I will miss him. I worry because I know he will not take care of himself and I hate to think of him having to go through his illness by himself. I just keep reminding myself that I don't feel I can trust him, but any words of encouragement anyone has would be appreciated...