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Vynde

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  1. Boy is that statement true, yet it still feels so good to get that so called "shot of adrenaline and feel that short lived rush that everything will be OK - which it will - but sometimes it makes it seem like its just around the corner, which its not. Thanks for bumping this thread. I thought I read all of Friscodj's stuff.. Ill be honest I look for it - his words seem to sink in and really bring some of the best insight and advice I have ever came accross.. Tips Hat Thanks John
  2. “Seat 1A, that’s me” I think to myself and as I slowly take my seat, at the same time the stewardess sends me a warm smile. As the plane taxies on the runway, I begin to flip through a Sky mall magazine, glancing through gadgets and all kinds of devices that “make life a little bit easier”. The whispered chatter from the passengers is soothing, as they go about their pre-flight rituals and plans for when they reach their destination. “Welcome ladies and gentlemen aboard Flight 823” the pilot calmly comes over the intercom “We should be taking off in just a bit, please get comfortable and we will be in paradise before you know it”. The gentle chime of the seatbelt warning breaks my concentration from the automatic cat feeder, as I double check my belt is secure. The plane gradually and then rapidly picks up momentum, and then begins to take off. The lift off is smooth and almost feels as if angels are pulling the plane up from above. As I gaze through the small oval shaped window I observe the earth as it slowly gains distance from the plane. “Can I get you something to drink sweetheart?” The stewardess asks. “Water would be great, thank you” As the plane gains altitude, it slowly climbs though the dense white clouds into what seems to be another world. The now pure white landscape becomes illuminated by the sun, as the clear blue sky goes on forever. As I sit back unperturbed in my seat, sailing through the light blue sky, I can’t help think about “Paradise” and can only envision what it will be like. Abruptly without warning – The jet engines begin to scream, as the quiet gossip becomes unbearable terror in an instant. The plane begins to pitch to its right and then begins to slope downward. Chaos immediately takes control. Luggage, clothing and all loose items begin to descend out of the overhead compartments as the plane shifts. Loosing altitude we pass back through the clouds which are now red and orange. The plane vibrates violently as it picks up velocity as oxygen masks drop from overhead and now bounce and dangle in front of my face addeding to the uncertainty. All logic and understanding quickly vacate my body, as I become completely powerless. ……I am going down. Suddenly, I’m awake.. Home in my bed, and yet, I still feel as if I’m on that dreaded flight, Paradise is lost.
  3. Hey imthatgirl, I'm so sorry that you are going through this anguish. I can relate to the constant barrage of various emotions that clobber you on a sometimes hourly basis.. Ill tell you one thing, and that is you should stay away from myspace. Sure, pep-up your site, make it cheerful, amusing and all about you. But please make sure not to even glance at his right now. Keep in mind that right now "Nothing" good can come from looking at it... I found what has helped me is the old "out of sight out of mind" technique. Remove everything you can that reminds you of him, even if it’s not his. Don't throw it away... maybe just pack it away. Don't send him anymore txt messages - Your giving him an upper hand which in turn makes you feel more helpless which translates to you feeling upset more and more. Try NC. Stick with it. It might not give you the upper hand per say; however it will give you a sense of control in that YOU now decide to respond if he should happen to contact you.. Regardless, its time to focus on yourself, as hard as that is right now. I know for me, I reconnected with old friends, restored relationships with family, concentrated on my health and fitness and focused on becoming an independent person, trying to understand that "I don't need that person to be happy". The goal here for you (us) is to become happy with ourselves (a task in itself). It’s very easy for me to tell you how to go about this, very hard to follow through with it. I know even for myself, knowing all this information doesn't help all the time. I do know that it gets better, regardless of how you’re feeling right now. Hang in. John
  4. Hey, Sorry your having such a hard time, like 2600 mentioned, you will have many up & downs for a while to come.. Keep in mind, that over time - The "ups" will begin to out number the "downs".. It just takes time.. In the mean time, Maybe you should do what you mentiond... Except, at the end of screaming "this is driving me crazy" add "and I refuse to let it get the best of me" as well. Hang in. John
  5. Your welcome my dear. Your right, the fact the everything just happened for you really hinders your rational way of thinking. Your thoughts an overall logical way of processing becomes clouded by the overwhelming power of our emotions.. Thats normal and if it wasn't happening, I would question your mental stability! j/k. You will come to understand after some time, that when this is over (and it will be one day) that you will have gained a valuable insight and stronger sense of who you are, which of coarse is extremely beneficial. Unfortunately, the price we pay for such knowledge can be both mentally and physically challenging as you well know. How am I doing, thank you for asking first of all I look back at the first post I made on these forums and def. see a noticeable difference.. All the tactics I have learned and insight gained I have acquired from this site and the angels that make it what is is.. I have felt a transformation of sorts or at least the beginning stages of one. I make sure not to rush it as the process itself is very slow. I wont sugar coat anything an admit to having days where I'm very depressed but like I mentioned, considering where I came from - its a great improvement You will see the same improvements - So my advice is to be patient with father time, embrace the painful emotions and the lessons they will ultimately teach us and harness the motivation caused by this dark time to shine more brightly than you ever have before. Keep posting, absorb the good energy from around you - You cant keep a good person down with this type of pain - in the end, it only makes them stronger than ever.. Hang in. Feel free to head over to D.i.g. in "off topic" its become more of a support group for those days you just need to vent - Good people Kind Regards, John
  6. Hello peachtteach, I'm reading your story and find it eerily similar to my situation. I was married in July 05 after a 6 year relationship and 1 year into the marriage, she decide (for the same reasons your husband expressed) to call it quits. You mention how the emotions and memories are exhausting, I can relate. They are. In fact, I "had" the feeling that they would always be there. I think the brain has a way of "exhausting" itself by running through memories (good & bad) in an attempt to understand "why". Truth is, in our case, we might be left with the question of "why" unanswered. I'm finding that the key to getting over the break-up is not by trying to forget what took place, but rather embrace it, learn from it and make an effort to use that experience to better yourself. You mentioned your aware of your flaws, thats good. We all have them, thats normal. Most people ignore them rather than identify them and work on improving them.. For now, take this time to reflect and learn. Move forward with the separation and become "selfish" by taking care of YOU. The memories, emotions and even the sometimes physical pain will fade, becoming more tolerable with each passing day.. Hard to notice, but it will. Lean on your friends - and take care of your body and mind. You WILL become stronger and better off - Its just knowing that now doesn't help.. Keep posting - Your gonna be OK Thinking of you.. John
  7. Sasha, how horrible you must feel. I'm so sorry. I think you hit it on the head when you said However, even knowing that doesn't make the pain go away. You deserve someone so much better.. Please keep telling yourself that! Let him get his quick fix, it will be short lived. Focus on what makes you happy now.. Hang in there. John
  8. Back of the knees huh..? Im writting that one down
  9. Hello HDD, Sorry your having such a bad day. Thats how you should look at it- Just a bad day. Better days are ahead.. Each day that passes, you will become stronger, more able to deal with what has taken place. Whateveer that might be.. Hang in there. Keep doing what ever it takes to get past each day.. John
  10. Hello Dan, Welcome to ENA. I’m sorry that you have to be here like this, but I can assure you that this is the right place. I know your feeling very hurt right now, which is normal. It’s hard to imagine living a life without the one you love... It’s, like you said, a scary thought. As hard as it is and as heart broken as you feel, I would try your best to stay positive and keep very busy. I know you want her back, you love her. However, you can’t force anything. I know for me, when my wife left, I was heart broken like you. It was hard to understand, since I had conversations very similar to yours. I’m not gonna say she wont come back. I don’t know that and to be honest, it’s not up to you. Just like it’s not up to me when it comes to my wife.. It’s a choice they made. Take it one day at a time. Do you have friends and/or family that you can see? I know for me, they were a big help. I think you should keep posting, listen to what the great people at this site have to say.. Hang in my friend. John
  11. Hello my friend, Welcome to ENA.. Im so sorry to hear of what has happened. The pain you must be in I cant even imagine. I think you should make it a point right now to find somone who you trust, ie. Family, friends - who will be able to support you and help you deal with the emotions your feeling, not to mention any legal issues you might need to think about.. For now, make sure you take care of yourself.. Keep posting here. The support you will find will blow your mind. Lots and lots of very caring people are here.. Hang in. John
  12. PSlug, To be honest and Im sure you will get a lot of this as feed-back, I cant see how one person is to blame. You see, I guess to some degree both let things get a little out of control.. Did the girl do somthing that made him become so jealous or controlling? It seems like she might have.. Regardless, its somthing both of you should talk about and take blame for and figure out the middle ground. John
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