Madly In Love

Obviously, this is advice way after you needed it, but here goes anyway for future reference. I was on the pill and I must say, if she takes it at the SAME EXACT TIME everyday, she is religious about it. Me, I take it when I remember everyday. My boyfriend still wanted to use condoms just because they helped him last longer. But, not anticipating that it would bust, he came without knowing it had broken. I freaked, of course, but after I got my period like normal. So after that when they would break, we figured, what's the point. They broke every time. We have sex almost everyday and some days I forget to take the pill, so I take two the next day. I have never had a problem. He pulls out everytime though. My friend just informed me recently that she is on the pill, they don't use condoms, yet her boyfriend comes in her every time. I asked her how she could be so brave, and she said "I'm on the pill." But it's no guarantee. I am just saying that since she missed that pill it might have thrown off her cycle. Depending on her age, it takes almost a full year for your period to be exact days every month and all that. So if you get your period early, then you really shouldn't get it again too soon that month, say her regular time, because it came early. But don't quote me. Hope everything worked out. And don't listen to the crap about her screwing other guys and all that. If she wants you to use a condom also then she is just being extra cautious because she is not ready for a baby, and neither are you. So just be cautious. Trust me, you don't want to have a mistake. One of my guy friends, his daughter was born on his 18TH BIRTHDAY. And now the mother is trying to keep her from him. It's crazy. Too soon for children. Well enough of my rambling!

Okay, In case some of you don't know, I go to LSU in Baton Rouge, LA, and there is a serial killer on the loose. (more info: link removed He has killed 5 women that we know for sure are linked to him because of DNA he has left behind, but there were probably more before he started leaving his little signature behind. The first known victim was killed a little over a year ago. But it wasn't until last June that he was given the title "serial killer" after mutilating his third victim that could be connected to him. Even though I have known of past murders and they were on the outskirts of campus, I never believed that I could be a victim and I always thought he would be caught soon. Well, his latest victim, his fifth, lived down the street from me. On a street just off campus for God sakes. He is getting into homes without signs of forced entry, so it is believed that he gains their trust somehow ahead of time or at the time of entry (ex: a policeman). She lived alone, was a brunette, and a college student. This also applies to me. Since the last killing, I have put mace on my keychain, put mace by my bed, a wooden pole next to my bed, and added a freaking barn door lock on my door, only accessible from the inside. I don't open my blinds ever, because I am afraid he could be watching me. Even with all these precautions, I still live in fear. I have panic attacks and anxiety attacks, on top of my being bipolar. I am going crazy daily. I don't sleep at night. I go to sleep when the sun comes up around 6 a.m. because I figure he won't get me while people are out and about during the day. I am always on my cell phone with someone when coming home and check the apartment with mace in hand before I lock all four locks. I rarely leave to reduce possible scenarios. I lay in bed with most lights on in the apartment but can't sleep because either I hear a noise or you get that feeling, you know the one where someone is behind you and you can feel it, yeah that one. While at this computer I constantly turn my head because I get "that feeling." This fear is consuming my life. I just wish they would catch him. It's not fair. To be scared all the time. Wondering if you are next. I know I have taken every precaution possible and I am safe, but you can't help but feel that someone is around, watching, waiting to get you. He hasn't struck in a while, since Mardi Gras, and we all know it's the "calm before the storm." I just hope it won't be me. I have so much that I haven't done. And I won't let him take that from me. I won't. If you have any advice on what I can do to stop the feelings of fear and panic, please let me know. I am so desperate. It is affecting my life. And I am only 21 years old! Thanks.

Okay, People may not agree with me, but I have a suggestion. Obviously your savings is what you have after you're paying all your bills. I have one suggestion if you think you are going to be worried about money in the future. Go to college and get a degree. You should slow down on the two jobs you're working on, go to school before you get older and have kids, and the job you get with a degree will give you much more savings than the two jobs you're working now. You could start a retirement account, savings for kids, take trips, etc... and you wouldn't be working crazy hours, depending on the job. Your boyfriend also is making money so combined you could probably live well while you went to school. I know you may not agree, but this is just a suggestion. I also worry about money all the time, because I don't have any! No savings, nothing. But all I do know is that when I graduate law school, I will be making at least $60,000 to start, base salary. That keeps me going. I know at this age I can't live like my parents or afford a new car or anything like that. But one day I will. And I will be able to provide my children with a good life, and even have a hefty retirement account to do nothing after I retire! So good luck with your decision. And remember money isn't everything. My boyfriend lost his mom last year to cancer, and now everyday he wishes he had just 5 more minutes, or an hour, or just one more day with her. So take advantage of the people that love you and the relationships you have with them. Love is very rare. So enjoy your life. You're 18 for God sakes! You're not supposed to have a lot of money at 18! I can't believe you've saved as much as you have. You just need to say within yourself that it's ok if you don't have a lot, cause you're still a kid and you need to slow down. Get a social life, you won't have one after the kids! Enjoy life! That's what it's for. If it were to work yourself to death, then the world would be a boring place, with a very very high mortality rate! Good luck!

Thank you so much for your inspiring words. You are right, I would always wonder "what if?" My parents are even offering to pay for law school, even if I don't make it through the first semester. My boyfriend tells me I would be stupid not to take advantage of that, because people like him don't have an opportunity like that. He had baseball scholarships to get his bachelor degree, but otherwise he wouldn't have been able to go to college. I am very lucky in that respect. My parents are very supportive of everything I do. They have always given us everything. But always taught us that money isn't everything. I just know that I am capable of being an awesome attorney, and I won't know unless I try. So thank you again for your advice. This site really does help to get stuff out and off your chest. I need that!

I need advice from anyone who is an attorney or in law school. I am 21 years old, a woman, a year away from graduation at LSU with a bachelor in Business Administration/Prelaw. I have 24 hours til graduation next May. My GPA isn't all that great - a 2.9 - and my motivation toward school seems to be diminishing. I have always wanted to be an attorney for as long as I can remember. At LSU, they offer a combination of your MBA and Law Degrees together which takes four years. This was my intention in the beginning. To have four degrees by the time it was all said and done. But now I don't know what I want to do. I am afraid that I won't get into law school first of all. I want to go to LSU's law school. Then I worry about making it in law school. I have friends in it here and they say that it is brutal at first. They try to weed out that slackers in the first year. And I am afraid that might be me. My boyfriend, poor thing, listens to me complain all the time about this. He always tells me that I need to worry about school right now and not on the future so much. He also says it sounds like I am afraid of failing. I am. I don't want to be a failure. Any advice on my decisions and such would be really appreciated. I am thinking of Employment Law or maybe one day being Chief Legal Counsel. I would LOVE to be a private attorney for a big corporation someday. I just don't know if I should choose another career path or what. I just don't know if I am ready for law school right now. It scares me. Thank you for any advice or stories you can give me!

I would love to hear your story and give you my opinion. I am not giving you some bullshit advice, cause I have no idea what you are going through. I just know what I went through and how I told my parents. It is so not as bad as it may seem. I have wanted to commit suicide 3 or four times in my life, and I am only 21. But I have found the greatest love in the world, and I want everyday I can get with him. If you would like to know my story and how I told my parents, just let me know! I am here! My AIM name is Guillbo. Always on. Or post on here. Later girl!

My boyfriend goes through the same thing. But we know what's wrong with me. I am bipolar and on two medications a day. They REALLY help. Bipolar is this: say on a scale from 0 to 20, a 10 is normal. People like you and my boyfriend may dip down to a 8 or 7 if something upsets you, or something bad happens, or someone dies, etc. You may dip up to like a 13 or 14 when something really good happens. Bipolar is a medical condition. I can't help my mood swings sometimes. Before medication I would dip down to a 5 or maybe a 1. Really bad! Sometimes you get highs, which could go to a 18 or 19. Great mood! Party time! Woo hoo! And then you come down off the high and you're back into a low. I am on two medications, after seeing a psychologist, which help me to level out my moods. It helps out those lows a lot, but your highs aren't as high so I am a little more mellow than I would like to be. I had a low today. My boyfriend lives an hour away and had spent the night last night. He was about to leave and I just started crying. He was like "what's wrong?" Cause we had just gone to lunch and laughed and then tickled each other to death when we got home. I told him that I didn't feel like he loved me anymore. He is used to this, so he just smiles at me, pulls me and hugs me tight, and told me "nothing could ever make me stop loving you. So you better smile cause you know I'm right." And he just hugged me for a long time. It takes a strong man to deal with that everyday, which you obviously are. It's not something that I choose to have. I can't help it. If I didn't have this I would be a different person and Ryan tells me he wouldn't want anyone else than the person I am right now. It took me a long time to find him. I know how hard it must be on him, walking on eggshells around me all the time. More like walking on glass! He says that if I didn't express my feelings to him, he would feel worse. He says that if someone if going to take care of me and be there for me, he wants to be that person. He likes that I need him there for me! We are planning on getting engaged soon, and I am so lucky to have this man as my future husband. I would suggest to her to maybe see a doctor and see what he says. Taking a pill or two everyday is no big deal. Women take birth control everyday, so what's another pill? It has helped me significantly. Some days when I forget to take my meds, I see what I would be like without it! Scary! Just not how I would want to live everyday if I don't have to, ya know? Well, hope I have helped. Let me know how things are. Don't give up on her! I know how it is! Just be there for her. Let her know that you want to help her and be there for her! Good Luck!

I am Lauren by the way from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, USA - an hour from New Orleans - where my boyfriend lives by the way! Geaux LSU Tigers!

Hey Em..... Well, I had the same kinda guy. Basically. I met him after getting out of a relationship with a guy I had dated since 8th grade who had verbally abused me and told me I would never find better, etc.... But then I found Luke. And I thought he was so great! He was really hot, still is, but looks aren't half of it. He was never sure of his feelings. I am a very expressive person and thought I loved him. I told him, and his response was "do I have to answer back?" Should have dropped him then, but didn't. We broke up, his doing, because he "couldn't take the distance. No girl had ever made him cry but I did everytime I left him." BULLSHIT! That summer he had moved home from college and started hooking up with his ex from highschool. Then later that year, he called me wondering if I would be in town that weekend. And we always talked thru AIM on the computer. I never could let myself get interested in anyone else, and I go to a big university with PLENTY of hot guys. But none of them were Luke. He never came to see me. I always went there. He would rarely call, unless he knew I was coming in town. Even when I would go to town, he would go out with his guy friends to a totally different bar and call and say, "just come over after the bar closes." WOW, now I realize how trashy that was! He didn't want to be seen with me. He didn't want to be "technically" dating. But he didn't want me being with any other guys. Although, I am not proud to say, since I finally grew balls and told him to find himself another "late night special" (haha) he has since rekindled things with his ex from highschool, who he was sleeping with the whole time I was with him, and they are "serious." Yet, I have a happy ending. Once I realized that it was ok to be single for a while, admitted to myself that Luke was not what I wanted and I didn't like the way he treated me......my angel fell from the sky. Out of the blue this guy I met YEARS ago.........when I was little (6th grade), he was in highschool and I had the biggest crush on him.......he says he has thought about me a lot over the years, but always felt he was too old for me. So he waited til I was 18 to contact me, but he found out I was dating someone. So he called last October when I needed someone the most. I also suffer from extreme depression, but better now. I couldn't believe that someone could treat me so wonderful. He has NEVER put me down, underestimated me, looked at another woman in my presense, etc.....he can't wait to see me everytime we are apart for a while (he lives an hour away), he tells me how much he loves me every chance he gets, he is REALLY good at other things (get my drift), he's gorgeous, so wonderful....I could go on and on. I am just saying that you obviously don't want to spend the rest of your life with this loser/marry him, so why waste your time on him. It's SO NOT WORTH your energy, time, feelings, breath, and most important, your tears. The man who loves you won't make you cry, but rather you'll cry because you know you're so lucky and thank God for everyday with him. I am happy to say that Ryan has told me that he couldn't imagine spending the rest of his life with anyone else and can't wait to be my husband. So, even though very far in the future, I have law school next, I get to plan a wedding, slowly! Every girl's dream! But you know what. When you stop LOOKING for love and just be yourself, it just happens when you least expect it. So distance yourself from him. He obviously wants that if he's the one that cheated but you're waiting on HIM to make the decision. BULLSHIT! Let him GO! You sound like a great girl! But you have to open your eyes and not see just him if you want to find that thing that makes your stomach do flipflops all the time and you can't ever get the silly grin off your face! Go for it! Make yourself happy! Keep in touch and let me know how it goes! Good Luck!

Okay, I just went on a Spring Break trip two weeks ago. My boyfriend/future husband (not yet engaged, haha) is a baseball coach for a college in New Orleans and had games/practice and couldn't come. I did not want to pass up the chance to get away, because I live in Baton Rouge and there is a serial killer on the loose and I don't ever sleep and have panic attacks and all that. So I REALLY needed to get away. We went and stayed at my friend's house that her parents own in Santa Rosa. There were 4 girls (including me) and 4 guys. All friends of mine. No exes or anything like that. But I can honestly say that even though we were on a beautiful beach and there was alcohol and bonding and stories told of intimate details with the understanding that "everything said stays in Florida," I missed Ryan so much it hurt. I talked to him every night. One night everyone was playing drinking games but I wanted to just go sit on the balcony and breathe and think for a while. I cried because I was in such a wonderfully beautiful place, but there was one thing missing. Ryan. When I got home, it was the most incredible thing to see his face again. We both hugged for like 10 min straight. And, what came next, well that was incredible in it's own way. You get my drift. Of course I flirted, every woman does, and those guys saw me in my bathing suit and all that (which Ryan wasn't happy about), but they weren't him. So don't worry. Just be happy and thank God that you have her. Plan a big romantic evening when she gets back and show her how much you missed her. Trust me, she'll love knowing that you care about her and that you were miserable without her. You need to have trust. It's one of the important ones, behind communication. But a little time apart is the best remedy for those routines that you get stuck in sometimes. So good luck and cheer up. She'll be home soon!

adklfjasdlfkjasdl;kfj

Oh my God! I have been searching everywhere wondering if I was the only one. My story: At age 15 I was told that my grandfather had physically abused my mother again and again until she left for college. Her mother would watch, take her to the hospital, but deny that it ever happened. My mom was given $500 for college, because my grandparents had gone bankrupt and my grandfather (not that I acknowledge him as that) was an alcoholic. She worked in the cafeteria cutting salads and lived as a resident advisor in the dorms for free housing. My dad was always there for her, thank God. They started dating in the 5th grade and have never been apart. It took my mom a while to be able to talk about it in her late life. She told me my freshman year in high school. Before that I went to a really hard private school from kindergarten thru 8th grade and excelled, getting awards and such. Around January of my freshman year I became extremely depressed, locking myself in my room for hours, sometimes a whole day, rocking back and forth crying, holding my hair in my hands as tight as possible. The screaming and yelling fights that took place between me and my parents were ridiculous. They knew something was wrong, but I of course didn't want to think there was anything wrong. I tried to just say it was hormones. They finally made me go to a doctor and I took all these tests and such and they diagnosed me as "situationally depressed." This means that it would go away eventually. Not the case. They put me on Paxil at first, didn't work. Moved to Prozac. Worked for a while. At some point I got this idea that I didn't need medication to be "normal." I would pretend to take it. My mom would give it to me every night but I wouldn't swallow. So I got worse. School started to get worse too. Caring about it wasn't there. Concentration was minimal. Things I had excelled at before were so hard now. I was grounded for a "C" or lower, so I was grounded all the time. This made it worse too. Being cooped up in the house while all your friends are at parties made the fighting at my house worse. Somehow, I got into my dream college, LSU (geaux tigers!), and graduated with a 3.0 GPA. This meant I was getting "TOPS", a state program for tuition scholarships. My tuition for college would be paid by the state for my four years of undergraduate school. Great! I even graduated a semester early from high school and started at LSUA, a two year college in my hometown. I got 12 hours of credit, with 3 A's and one B. WOW! I had a crappy boyfriend who verbally abused me though which kinda put me back into "crap" mode. I was on medication and seeing doctors though. I didn't go to LSU that fall because of the guy I was dating. Stupid mistake. When I did go that spring of 2001, I was so excited to be rid of him and on my own for once. I thought this was the answer to all my problems. Away from my parents and making a life for myself. I was depressed. I didn't have a lot of friends and my roommate was never home. I had a dream job, tutoring the football team, and all my bills were paid by my parents. Great apartment. Just not happy. I went to doctors in Baton Rouge and they told me to "exercise more." I ended up with 3 C's and one A. Not good. My parents were disappointed and so was I. I moved home for the summer which was okay. My highschool friends were there so I went out more. That fall I went back to LSU and got a one bedroom apartment. I decided to go through "RUSH" and got into a really popular sorority. Everything was okay for a while. I didn't really fit in with the younger girls in my pledge class though, and the girls that were my age acted like they were "higher" than me. My grades the next two semesters were the same: three C's and one A. Not grades for law school, which is where I thought I wanted to go. (I know I am boring you.) Many dead-end relationships during this time didn't help either. I kept taking the meds. That summer I took two summer classes and made two C's. My parents were really disappointed. I got one thing I had wanted for so long though, my nose job. I was also started on new meds that summer (last summer). Wellbutrin & Effexor. Everything was GREAT! I was living life, new look I was so happy with, going out, new friends. Then I started to slip. But I didn't want to tell anyone. I stopped going to class, stopped going out, stopped any contact with my sorority, stopped living. I got to the end. I wanted to end everything. I thought that was the best way. I couldn't bare to disappoint my parents again. I was failing school. I had no one in my life. I played it off to them. I was the happiest person around them. Out of the blue this guy I had a crush on when I was in like 6th grade (he was 5 years older) called me. I was laying in the bed, in darkness, greasy hair, broken out face....disgusting. He was someone I could trust though and a complete outsider who wouldn't judge me on the past. I told him what was wrong. I couldn't bare to call my parents and tell them about school, so I emailed them. My mom called and said "Lauren come home." I was shocked. I had been so scared. So it was decided that I would drop the classes while I could and move back home. Defeated. My dad called back and said "don't run away from this thing Lauren. Go to a new doctor and get some answers. Stay in the classes that you could still pull out a decent grade." So I did. Thank God! I went to a new doctor who asked me, "why are you on this medication?" I told him that was what I was prescribed. He said, "you're not depressed. I mean you are but that's not what's wrong with you. You are Bipolar." He explained what that was and I was just in awe. I couldn't believe it. He then told me the bad news. "Since you are bipolar, the medication you have been on has made it worse. You have been basically in a sedated coma but you were still alert." The words I couldn't believe I was hearing. I was so angry. Why did this have to happen? I was put on new meds, but I had to get the others out of my system slowly. Kinda like de-tox. The guy that had called out of the blue wanted to go on a "date." So we did. I was shocked. He was prince charming in disguise and what I had needed for so long. Someone who understood me and wanted to help me. On our second date, that was the first day I had to go without the previous meds in my system. They had taken me off gradually with lower dosages, but this was the first day with none. That night I was shaking and had sweats and all that, just like in the movies but with crack! Haha. After that was over, I got so much better. I finished with two classes and made two B's. Better. My parents were thrilled. My whole family was. And I even had a wonderful man to share it with. I started the semester full force. I was determined. I decided I didn't want to be a part of the sorority anymore, because they hadn't even called to see why I hadn't been around in five months. Ryan and I had even realized that we both felt the same way, we wanted to get married someday. I was on cloud nine! Well, now the present. I have started getting more emotional lately. My midterm grades, all D's. It's not a repeat of last semester. I study ALL the time. I cannot concentrate for anything. I read and don't know what I just read. I take tests and evey question sounds the same. I get behind in my work. But I love class. I love learning. But it doesn't reflect that in my grades. I am at a loss, because with my grades I'll never get into law school. Ryan is always there for me, which I don't think I could live without. I have a doctor's appointment this week and hope that something good will come of it. I am 24 hours from graduation next May and totally freaking what my future holds. Is this all I am capable of? I know I could be a damn good attorney. It's getting that title that scares me. I know I haven't helped you. But this has helped me. This is the first time I have gotten everything out and realized how far I have come. I am bitter for being mis-diagnosed. But I can't dwell on that. I just want to be a happy person again. I am at times, especially my time with Ryan. But sometimes I feel myself slipping again. And this serial killer on the loose isn't helping me! I live alone and seem to fit the profile of his victims. I don't sleep at night and every noise scares the hell out of me. Ryan lives in New Orleans, about an hour and a half away, so he comes when he can and I go there sometimes. But the nights alone are the hardest. Sorry to bore you with this LONG story of my life. Just know you're not alone. At least you're not on the meds anymore! I am taking three pills a day! Good luck to you. And let me know you're progress! And if you find a solution, let me know! Always - Lauren (Again sorry that it's so long!)