I have been in a relationship for over 5 years with a wonderful woman.
We are compatible in many ways and we love each other very much.
Almost 2 years ago, she started law school in the washington dc. We were
separated for a semester until I finished with my graduate work- we then
moved our household to the east coast. I have taken alot of the
logistical duties of the house, buying groceries, paying bills, laundry
etc. Don't get me wrong, she has been splitting rent, and will
occasionally pay for meals and movies and she does do the housework.
Admittedly, I won't let her at times since she has less money that I
do. Since the move over a year and 1/2 ago, things have been up and
down. I understand law school is a life changing event. She is stressed
out alot. I try to comfort her and pay attention to her needs. I know I
am not perfect. I have my own issues that I have to deal with.
I have seen a change in her, she's a little more selfish, a little more
demanding... She has been in therapy since she started law school-
although I see her as more assertive, it seems that since therapy has
started she also been more impatient with my behavior. I have noticed that she has been sadder since she started therapy than before she started school.
It seems that
whenever her school work gets very demanding, she focuses all of her
anxiety to us. She has been very sad lately about her performance at school, the pressures have been weighing her down. And that in turn weighs me down. Whenever she gets sad about things, I feel like the ax is going to fall. She has said a couple of times that our relationship
wasn't working out and threatened to break it off. She said that she has
been having problems with committment. That she was tired of working in
the relationship. She also said that I have been critical and
insensitive to her needs. That has hurt me beyond belief. I have been
working hard to improve my negative behavior. She knows through my words and actions that I am there for her.
Since that time she has said that she felt that she couldn't go on, I've been
walking on egg shells, I have realized that this relationship can end at
any time and that terrifies me. She is the love of my life. I want this
realtionship to work. I want her to work more on this relationship. But
she focuses all her energy in law school and I feel that she doesn't
have enough for us. I feel beaten down, no matter what I do, I feel inadequate.
We've agreed to talk to a couples counselor but I hope this isn't too late.
I want to bring these issues to the table but I am
afraid of what will say. I don't want to be hurt anymore. Any advice
you can give me will be appreciated. thanks
